Touch Your Spouse's Heart with the Power of a Note

I was feeling out of sorts on a particular Tuesday. My feelings were hurt about a comment my husband made toward me the night before. My expectations were not met in a conversation with a friend that morning. My daughter sounded ungrateful when I picked her up from school. I responded to her teenage attitude with an immature attitude of my own, which only escalated the situation. I was exasperated. Tensions were rising. And something inside of me was ready to blow.

I walked through the front door in tears, feeling lousy and unloved. Feeling unappreciated and unworthy. Feeling unqualified to do anything at all.  I walked up the stairs and into my study and stopped abruptly! There it was…

On my computer keyboard was a note, in my husband’s handwriting, that simply said: “Love you, Wife.”

Oh, the power of a note. 

I am loved.

I am not a loser. I am loved.

And in that moment, of being reminded I was loved, I was empowered. Everything that went wrong that day dissolved away as my tears of appreciation for the one who expressed love toward me welled up in my eyes and spilled over onto my cheeks. I was no longer feeling desperate…only anxious to express my gratitude to the one who expressed his love toward me.

It wasn’t a huge revelation. Deep down, I knew my husband loved me. But the gesture – right there in front of me – the expression, simple yet sincere, spoke volumes. I was reminded. I was brought back to reality. I am loved.

We all have days that make us want to blow (women probably more than men, I would say!). Stifled anger, stored-up insults, tensions and pressures, hormones and sugar lows. And it’s natural to just blow and get it all out. But that often occurs at the expense of those whom we love the most.

What if, during those difficult days, you could remember something at the core of your being? You are loved. Not just by your spouse, but by the Author of Love, the One who gave Himself for you so that you might live eternally with Him. The God who would rather die than live without you found a way to make you His own.

What if – on those days that your wife is really having a hard time – you found a way to remind her that she is loved? What if – during those times that your man is under extreme pressure and coming up with few words for you –you found some extra meaningful words for him? What if you both realized, in the fiery pit of everyday tensions, the power of a note?

Early in our marriage, my husband, Hugh learned just how far the power of a note will go. Because my job requires me to travel quite a bit, there were, and still are, times when my suitcase is constantly in my bedroom. Unpacked one day, and lying empty to be repacked the next. Then it sits there for a few more days, nearly packed, as I prepare to leave again. Hugh learned this was the perfect opportunity to tuck a note or two into my suitcase that I would find after I arrived at my destination. During some trips, he’s been rather creative and managed to slip three or four notes in various places that I continued to find throughout my two- or three-day stay. The notes represented simple words of encouragement that he was thinking of me, missing me, and looking forward to my return.

Don and Barbara have discovered the power of a note, as well. Sometimes it isn’t so much what the note says, but the fact that one of them went the extra step to leave one for the other.  “I leave sticky notes on the bathroom mirror when I leave town so he comes home to it,” Barbara said. “Also a sticky note on his pillow so when he turns back the covers…voila…he knows I’m thinking about him. That doesn’t come from a place of insecurity (I hope he’ll think about me while I’m gone) but from a heart that wants to do something special for him. Being deliberate and intentional by leaving a note is a selfless thoughtful act. It is a gift.”

Could you cultivate a closer connection with one another by starting to leave simple but powerful notes?  Could you be the author of simple words on a sticky note that show the person you love the most how much he or she is on your mind and heart? You don’t have to be a poet, and if you spell something wrong, you just might endear yourself to his or her heart even more.

Here are some ideas (and yes, some of them are song rip-offs) of simple, yet much appreciated,  notes for the love of your life:  

• You’re still the one.
   
• I’m so lucky  to have you.
   
• You’ve stolen my heart with a simple glance of your eyes.  (Yep, the Song of Solomon 1 in the Bible has great lines for you to plagiarize and pass off as your own!)
   
• You still look hot! (For some reason, that one never fails.)
   
• Can’t wait to see you tonight
   
• You’re the best.
   
• Thanks for all your hard work.
   
• I appreciate all you do.
   
• Put a sticky note on your husband's or wife's  dashboard or steering wheel that says “You still drive me wild."

Are you getting the idea? This is one of the simplest ways to endear your spouse’s heart to yours. Experience a closer connection today through the power of a note.

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of several books including When Women Walk Alone (more than 100,000 copies sold), When A Woman Inspires Her Husband and When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection, which she co-authored with her husband, Hugh. For free articles of encouragement to strengthen your soul or your marriage, see www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

Publication date: April 17, 2013