Q&A with a Pastor on Church Standards, Accountability, and Being Above Reproach

Share with me your position in the church and how long you have held this role.

I am currently transitioning out of the role of Senior Pastor at Goodwill Baptist Church. I have been in that role since 2014 and am pursuing a position with the Henrico Police Department.

How does your church define biblical standards of behavior for pastors?

Our church’s bylaws state, “The Pastor of the Goodwill Baptist Church must be a man of honest report, full of the Holy Spirit, and wisdom, living an exemplary life as outlined in Titus 1:7-9, Acts 6:3-4, 1 Timothy 6:1-12; and 1 Timothy 3:1-12.”

How are these standards enforced?

I’m not sure enforced is the right word here. All believers are to be in community with one another, where each one helps another to grow. We desire to hold each other accountable to live a life pleasing to God.

There is no hierarchy. Church staff and leaders don’t get away with things.

They hold each other accountable too. For the pastor, if his life or actions are called into question, the other leaders of the church would likely seek out the situation for clarity.

If there was a public situation where the congregation learned something and the congregants called him out, then the congregation is holding him accountable.

In Matt Chandler’s case, a congregant called him out and appropriately so.

From where in Scripture, or elsewhere, does your church derive these standards?

My church bylaws draw directly from Scripture. I don’t think you can cherry-pick and say this is for this, and this is for that. Every believer is to strive and be obedient to God’s word.

The texts I mention are specific to pastors and elders, but that doesn’t mean the others don’t apply. Even if it isn’t specified for a pastor, does that mean it doesn’t apply to a pastor? Of course not.

Are these standards reflected across church leadership, or do the standards vary by position? Why?

The standards referenced are for the position of Senior Pastor. However, all spiritual leaders in the church are held to the biblical standards for their specific position. For example, the Bible lists qualifications for deacons in 1 Timothy 3 as well. 

Are these standards of behavior the same across the board with all Baptist churches?

No, and yes. Each church is autonomous within the traditional Baptist denomination. Most Bible-believing Baptist churches follow God’s word, so I hope there would be overlap. If every Baptist church goes to the Bible, there should be overlap, but there is no one Baptist church constitution. And just because it says Baptist, doesn’t necessarily mean anything. 

Why do some churches set different standards of behavior despite reading from the same text?

I’m not sure. Different people interpret things differently. Two people can read the same thing and come away with a different interpretation.

Have you ever encountered or witnessed church standards in place that were not biblical? What were they?

Not the churches I have been a part of, but I’m sure that exists somewhere.

When you heard about the situation involving Matt Chandler, what was your initial reaction?

I told myself and a friend I was talking to, “More information is needed to come to an accurate assessment of the situation.” Though the public may never know. That’s my gut feeling.

Based on an independent law firm’s investigation, Chandler’s general lifestyle was deemed “above reproach,” but not his correspondence with this particular woman. He was found in violation of the church’s standards for elders, or as they put in their own words, “While the messages were not romantic or sexual in nature, the frequency and familiarity of the messages crossed a line. They revealed that (he) did not use language appropriate for a pastor, and he did not model a behavior that we expect from him.” What was your response to this information?

I was grateful that a church would hold their pastor accountable to the biblical standards put in place for that pastor, and saddened to read that a pastor had crossed that line. 

How should the church define too frequent and too familiar when corresponding with others? Or should this definition be left to specific churches?

I think each church needs to determine these kinds of things. This goes back to a Baptist church being autonomous. 

A church needs to believe the standards to which they hold one another accountable. It needs to be developed within so that the pastor can have accountability with another leader in the church.

Like in a dating relationship, parents give specific rules to follow. If we as kids didn’t make them our own, we are more likely to not follow.

Accountability, Above Reproach, and Gray Areas 

Do you think Chandler stepping down is the appropriate response to the situation? Why?

I think it is appropriate for Matt Chandler to step down for a time to deal with the specific situation at hand. Especially for a church the size of the one he is the pastor of, the number of people potentially impacted by his behavior must be taken seriously. Stepping down is a good step to demonstrate that. 

Multiple parties were aware of the communication taking place between the woman and Chandler, including their spouses. What is the line between appropriate and inappropriate communication?

More details would need to be made available to answer this question from Chandler’s situation. In general, a pastor should not put himself in a situation that has the appearance of evil. Talking with another woman in the context described certainly could have the appearance of evil. Not to mention the reference to “language not appropriate for a pastor.” The Bible is clear for all believers that no unwholesome talk should come out of our mouths. For a person in a position of leadership, deliberate sin like this cannot be ignored. 

What does being “above reproach” mean? If we’re all sinners, is there any pastor above reproach?

Above reproach means to be of such a moral quality that one does not bring shame or in any way disgrace the name of Jesus. It does not mean perfect or without sin. It means that one’s life is free from sinful habits or behaviors. It means being of high character and integrity. It means having a good reputation.

It’s definitely not a simple concept. And at its core, my definition gets to the heart of what the phrase means. No one meets that standard except for Christ, so is absolute perfection really what Scripture is getting at? No, I don’t think so.

Are there any areas of gray that a pastor can get wrong and still maintain his position?

Are there gray areas? Absolutely there are. Alcohol can be a gray issue.

Some people come down hard, but then others would say that the Bible says don’t get drunk. But in some circles a pastor having a sip of alcohol would result in expulsion.

If you are asking if a pastor can still sin and be a pastor, the answer is yes. Everyone sins; no one is perfect except for Jesus. However, a pastor must take sin seriously and confess and repent from their sin. There is also the issue of sins that are more public than others. If a sin is public, then those in a public leadership position must deal with the sin publicly. 

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Brian A. Jackson 

In my experience, pastors maintain relational distance between them and their congregation. This often leads to pastors who serve as listeners and leaders, but are never quite served in the same way. They lack having confidants, and the ability to be vulnerable as someone would without their responsibility. Can you relate to this experience?

Pastors must work hard to have relationships where they can be open about temptations and struggles. In my experience, this should not be the kind of relationship a pastor has with anyone in his congregation. It would be best to leave this kind of relationship to those who are other pastors or spiritual leaders in the church. 

Doesn’t such a way of living evoke loneliness, especially if a pastor is without a family of his own?

Not if that pastor has created healthy relationships with other pastors or spiritual leaders. 

I’ve also found that because pastors maintain relational distance, they can come off as curt and standoffish. Does this resonate with you?

Yes, I have known of pastors who are like that. I strive to have good, healthy relationships with other church leaders so this does not happen and to maintain healthy relationships with each member of the congregation. 

Pastors’ Friendships

How do pastors foster genuine friendships without spending time being vulnerable and intimate with others?

Genuine friendships must include vulnerability to some level. However, a pastor needs to have boundaries to know what is appropriate, especially in the realm of being intimate. Establishing relational boundaries is key. 

Should congregants refrain from befriending elders and the pastor in all contexts in order to avoid potential violations? Or should pastors restrict friendships to their own sex?

Once again, boundaries must be established. With accountability relationships, pastors should restrict themselves to the same sex. That should be the case with anyone outside of a marriage relationship.

There definitely needs to be a measure of separation with the congregation. I wouldn’t go and spill my guts to the entire congregation. That wouldn’t be healthy for anyone.

For a pastor of a small church this can be challenging, so it’s important to have these kinds of relationships, maybe with people outside of your church. I would hope there would be other pastors at Matt Chandler’s church that would have close accountability relationships with him.

What if I wanted to befriend you? Would you allow me to or would that be off limits in your pastoral position?

Pastors can have friends, including people from their neighborhood like you.

Even casual friends of the opposite sex, but their are levels to friendship

Jesus had many acquaintances. He knew many people in that casual way.

He also had close relationships with the 12 disciples, but within the 12, he had a more intimate relationship with three: Peter, James, and John.

Do we as a church rush to assume infidelity or similar offenses when a man and a woman are involved? What would constitute ‘too frequent’ or ‘too familiar’ with a pastor and another man?

Possibly. Context is needed to really answer that question, but yes there should be a measure of caution in these relationships between men and women, rather than men and men. Men and women are different.

You cross a line when dealing with relationships between men and women as opposed to a pastor and another man.

Can men and women be friends without a romantic undertone?

Yes, but relationships with people of the opposite sex must be especially guarded with very careful boundaries in place because of the appearances and temptations related to this.

Whether or not Chandler’s messages would be considered objectionable outside of his church, what should pastors do to ensure they don’t violate conversational or relational boundaries with others?

Boundaries must be established. Accountability must be maintained.

As stated above, those are boundaries people in full-time ministry should establish on their own using God’s Word.

I have a close accountability relationship with another pastor. We are both striving to serve God in the appropriate context. There has to be accountability.

Have you ever had an experience where boundaries came into question? How did you overcome or handle the situation?

Yes. There was a situation when I was a youth pastor where a girl in the youth group needed a ride home. I had a boundary established that I would never be in the car alone with a girl. Because of the situation, I called my fiance so there was a level of accountability to deal with any potential accusations or the appearance of an inappropriate situation. 

Ironically, Chandler communicated with others about his relationship with the woman and still found himself in trouble. I find that most people, Christian or not, are not very direct in their communication. Do you agree with this assertion?

Yes, especially with people they are not close to. His wife may have known about the conversations, but was she copied on them? Being aware and being in the conversation are different. How much did she really know? And maybe the same for the woman’s husband on the other side.

What can Christians do to better communicate boundaries with one another so that no one gets the wrong idea?

Have those kinds of conversations. Too often people are afraid to have the conversation or not willing to have the conversation. If you talk about it that will help compared to not talking about it at all.

In Conclusion

Sometimes there’s more to the story, sometimes what you get is all there is. Even without placing a value judgment on Pastor Chandler’s fair or unfair situation, there’s plenty we can learn about communication from this story. In fact, there’s always something to learn from the experiences of others, both the good and the bad.

One key takeaway here is the importance of communication.

When people understand the reasoning behind our behavior, there is little room left for speculation and assuming. And as leaders, the more we communicate, the more we will stay accountable to those who follow us, so that our actions never become our undoing.

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Javier_Art_Photography