What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It

Did you know that two-thirds of men and a third of women who attend church regularly say they struggle with pornography, yet only 7% of churches offer specific resources and support to their congregations?

Sam Black, the author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It and director of recovery education at Covenant Eyes, recently sat down with Dr. Lauren Deville on the Christian Natural Health podcast to discuss the intricate and sensitive aspects of pornography addiction within the context of faith and church communities. Most importantly, he shares how churches can play a pivotal role in addressing this issue so that people struggling with this issue can find hope and healing, right at their place of worship. 

"When you go on a healing journey, you get to live with greater hope, greater faith, and greater wholeness in Christ," Black said. 

Listen to the Full Interview:

Key Takeaways on What the Christians Should Know About Pornography:

Understanding Neuroplasticity 

Neuroplasticity is the brain's remarkable ability to change and adapt throughout one's lifetime. Contrary to the misconception that our brains become rigid as we age, neuroplasticity show us that the brain remains dynamic, even in adulthood. Acknowledging this plasticity as a central component in the journey to recovery from addiction.

"The brain is more plastic than it is ceramic, and it can be formed and change throughout your lifetime." - Sam Black

The Impact of Early Exposure

Many individuals experience their first encounter with explicit content during childhood or adolescence, a period characterized by natural curiosity and exploration. This early exposure can have far-reaching consequences, often laying the foundation for problematic habits later in life. This early exposure can shape neural pathways in the brain, creating associations between pornography and reward. These associations can become deeply ingrained, making it challenging for individuals to break free from the cycle of addiction.

Trigger, Behavior, Reward

Drawing from the work of Charles Duhigg and his model of habit formation involving triggers, behaviors, and rewards, this framework can be applied to the context of pornography addiction. Certain triggers, such as stress, loneliness, or even boredom, can prompt individuals to engage in the behavior of consuming pornography. The immediate reward, often the release of dopamine in the brain, reinforces the behavior and perpetuates the cycle of addiction. On the bright side, just as habits are formed, they can also be replaced with healthier alternatives. By identifying triggers and substituting harmful behaviors with positive ones, individuals can gradually reshape their neural pathways, ultimately leading to recovery.

"Dopamine makes you feel good. It also increases your focus. In God's design, that's perfect. In pornography, it's a hijacking of what God created." - Sam Black

The Role of Shame in Pornography Addiction

Shame is a pervasive emotion that often accompanies addiction. As individuals engage in compulsive behaviors and then confront the consequences, they experience overwhelming guilt, self-loathing, and a sense of moral failure. The detrimental cycle of shame has a profound impact on one's self-worth, spirituality, and overall well-being. In the context of faith, individuals struggling with pornography addiction may feel particularly burdened by shame, as it conflicts with their religious values and beliefs. Sam discusses the need to address this shame head-on and offers insights into how it can be mitigated through understanding, support, and effective recovery strategies.

Pornography's Impact on Church Leadership

Pornography addiction is not limited to congregants; it affects church leaders as well. Many pastors and youth pastors have reported that they either struggled with pornography themselves or believe they are addicted. This sobering reality explains the need for a comprehensive and empathetic approach to recovery within the church community. Leaders should set a positive example by openly acknowledging their own struggles and seeking help when needed. By doing so, they can create an environment where congregants feel safe and supported in seeking help for their own addiction issues.

The Church's Approach to Pornography - Traditional vs. Compassionate

Traditional approaches often involve punitive measures, such as shame, guilt, and isolation. These methods, though well-intentioned, can inadvertently exacerbate the problem by driving addiction further underground, reinforcing feelings of shame, and preventing individuals from seeking help. In contrast, a compassionate and understanding approach within church communities is recommended. There is a strong need for open conversations about pornography addiction, de-stigmatizing the issue, and offering practical resources for recovery. By fostering an environment of empathy and support, churches can play a vital role in helping individuals find their path to healing.

Safe Haven Sunday

Covenant Eyes, where Sam Black serves as the director of recovery education, offers a program called Safe Haven Sunday. This program is specifically designed to equip churches and parents in dealing with issues related to pornography. Safe Haven Sunday encourages open and honest conversations about pornography, addiction, and recovery within the faith community. Safe Haven Sunday provides resources, sermon outlines, and educational materials to guide churches in addressing this sensitive topic. By participating in this program, congregations can gain a deeper understanding of the challenges posed by pornography addiction and become better prepared to offer support and guidance to those in need.

Finding an Ally on the Road to Recovery

Finding an ally on the journey to recovery is essential. An ally is someone who can provide support, understanding, and accountability. It's important to note that accountability partners and allies are not the same. An accountability partner typically focuses on monitoring behavior and reporting any slip-ups. While this approach can be valuable, an ally goes beyond mere oversight. An ally serves as a compassionate companion, offering empathy and encouragement throughout the recovery process. This ally can be a friend, family member, therapist, or a fellow church member who understands the challenges of addiction.

The Healing Journey

The notion that pornography addiction must be a lifelong struggle is simply false. It is possible to achieve real freedom and wholeness. By leveraging the brain's innate capacity for neuroplasticity, individuals can rewire their brains, breaking free from the grip of addiction.

If you or your loved ones struggle with pornography addiction, embark on a healing journey, one that acknowledges the reality of the struggle while holding onto the hope of transformation. Seek professional help when needed, engage in therapy, and utilize resources like Covenant Eyes to support recovery efforts.

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If you liked this episode, check out Dr. Deville's interview with Soul Care Coach Bonnie Gray!

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Marcos Calvo