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How Can I Grow Spiritually if My Spouse Isn’t a Believer? - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - June 4

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How Can I Grow Spiritually if My Spouse Isn’t a Believer?
By Vivian Bricker

“For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority” (Colossians 2:9-10).

Growing up, my mom was a Christian, and my dad was not. My dad has since become a Christian, but during my childhood and teen years, he was not a believer. He believed in a mix of atheism and also held ties to the New Age movement. As one could imagine, this was a recipe for disaster. The Bible is clear that Christians do not need to be married to unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-16). 

God does not want Christians to be married to unbelievers because it distorts His design for marriage. It is one thing for two unbelievers to get married and then one becomes a Christian while they are married; It’s another thing for a Christian to knowingly marry an unbeliever. For the former, the believing spouse can help lead their unbelieving spouse to the Lord through their words and actions; however, for the latter, only intentional sin is being committed. 

If you married your husband or wife, and they were not a believer at the time of marriage, yet you were a Christian, then know that you will have to live with the consequences. While your spouse might be a great person, you probably have already seen the discord that happens when a couple is not equally yoked together in the Lord. On the other hand, if you became a Christian after you were married and your spouse is not a Christian, know that you can help them place their faith in the Lord.

Nonetheless, in either case, your spiritual growth might be stunted. Part of the marriage covenant is how each person builds up their spouse in the Lord. When two believers get married, they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). This should not be taken lightly, as it is a weighty commitment to make to another person. Ultimately, this is why God designed marriage to be between one believing husband and one believing wife. 

This is not true for your life right now, but rest in the goodness of God. The fact that your spouse is not a believer does not mean your entire faith has to be torn down. In fact, it could be that your spiritual growth could help your spouse come to place faith in the Lord. Even if it does not, continue to pray for your spouse, share the Gospel, and extend the Lord’s love for them.

You can grow spiritually whether your spouse is a believer or not. It is beneficial to your spiritual growth for your spouse to be a believer, but it is not required for your spiritual growth. This is because you have already been given fullness in Christ. The Bible tells us, “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority” (Colossians 2:9-10). 

From this passage, we see the truth that in Christ, we have been brought to fullness. This means that we are not lacking anything. Whether spiritually or physically, we are not depleted in anything because we know the Lord. With this in mind, know that you can start growing spiritually today. Even though your spouse is not a believer, you can continue to grow and develop your relationship with the Lord.

It will be difficult at times since your spouse is not a believer, but try to stay focused on the Lord. You can grow spiritually by reading the Bible, praying regularly, and joining a local church. Each of these things can help you grow as a Christian. With time, your spouse will see your faith, and they might become more interested in the Lord. If they are, answer any questions they may have and be a source of support.

“Dear Lord, please help me to grow spiritually. My faith has been stunted by many things, and I need Your help growing into the person You created me to be. My spouse is not a Christian, which has negatively impacted my growth in You. Please help my spouse to come to know You and help my developing spiritual growth point then to You. Thank You, Jesus. In Your Name, I pray, Amen.”

Photo Credit: Unsplash/palidachan


Vivian Bricker author bio photoVivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate.

Related Resource: The Stupid Mistakes That Destroy Marriages (And How to Avoid Them)

Contrary to what many say, most marriages aren't destroyed by parental wounds, unresolved anger, or a sinful past. 

Jim Ramos, founder of Men in the Arena, talks candidly with Arlene about his new book Guardrails: 10 Boundaries for an Unbreakable Marriage. They dive into practical wisdom for building a marriage that lasts, drawn from Jim's 34+ years of real-life experience. Jim has seen enough marriages crumble to know one thing: most of them didn't fail because of deep psychological wounds or unresolved trauma — they failed because of small, unwise decisions that compounded over time. Tune in for practical wisdom and ways to avoid these costly mistakes in marriages. If you like what you hear, be sure to follow The Happy Home Podcast with Arlene Pellicane on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!


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Couples Devotional - A Daily Devotional for Marriage

Whether you are dating, engaged, or married - there is always room to grow and strengthen your relationship and communication as a couple. Use these daily devotionals for couples to actively pursue the relationship God wants for you!