Stop Playing the Comparison Game with Your In-Laws - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - May 30
Stop Playing the Comparison Game with Your In-Laws
By Vivian Bricker
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else” (Galatians 6:4).
Most of my friends are married, and I have heard many of them feel they are not “equal” to their in-laws. They feel as though their in-laws dislike them, look down on them, or think they are not as successful as they are. Whether their in-laws think this or not, I'm not sure; however, what I do know is that their constant fretting is getting them nowhere. Always trying to measure ourselves against someone else is not helping us in any way.
While I don't have in-laws, I do know what it feels like to be compared. Others have compared me to people, and I compare myself to others. I always see myself as inferior because I have low self-esteem. Through therapy, I have been working on seeing myself as God does and letting go of the comparison game.
Sadly, the comparison game is something most of us have played at some point. For some reason, we think we have control over it, but it actually controls us. It makes us feel awful and causes us to suffer throughout our days. This is why God wants us to stop comparing ourselves to others.
If you have compared yourself to your in-laws in the past, challenge yourself to stop doing so. Ask the Lord for His help and rest in His peace. He will be able to help you stop the toxic cycle of comparing yourself to your in-laws as well as to others. This is not within God’s will for your life; therefore, do all you can to help yourself end this practice too.
Something that has been helpful for my married friends who have in-laws is taking breaks from social media. If you are constantly seeing your in-laws' highlight reel on social media, it will make you feel as though you are failing at life. Maybe you are thinking, “I don't have a house like that,” “My spouse doesn't look at me like that,” or “They already have three children, and I'm having a hard time conceiving one.”
All of these comparisons will steal your joy and make you feel poorly. This is why I think it is vital to step away from social media for a while. To be honest, social media has drained me to the point that I rarely go on it for this very reason. Seeing everyone's highlights can make me feel pretty bad, especially if I'm going through a difficult situation.
I don't think that, as humans, we were ever meant to see everything that happens in our friends' and families' lives. Sometimes those stories are best told in person rather than shared in an airbrushed version online. These are a few things to think over and help you get your bearings again. The Lord will assist you and help you to cleanse your heart of comparison. All you have to do is turn to Him and take the necessary steps that you need to move forward in life.
The Apostle Paul tells us, “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else” (Galatians 6:4). As Paul says in this passage, we don't need to compare ourselves to others. Instead, we should test our own actions. In this way, we won't be as tempted to compare ourselves to others.
Whenever the comparison game creeps into your mind, reflect upon Galatians 6:4. Writing this down on a sticky note and posting it on a mirror could help tremendously. Think about somewhere you look at often (a mirror, the door on your way out, the fridge, etc.) and then place the sticky note there with these words of encouragement. With time, you will be able to end this toxic cycle with the Lord’s help.
“Dear Jesus, I have often indulged in the comparison game, and it makes me feel terrible. I don’t want to compare myself to my in-laws or to anyone else. I know it doesn’t benefit me in any way. Help me to be happy with myself and with my life. You have given me an extraordinary life, a wonderful spouse, and the beautiful gift of salvation. Thank You for everything, Lord. Amen.”
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes
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