Getting Back into Church Together after Church Trauma - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - April 27
Getting Back into Church Together after Church Trauma
By Vivian Bricker
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25).
When we talk about healthy habits within a marriage, we cannot overlook the spiritual practice of going to church together. For most of us, it can be difficult to make it to church each Sunday. Whether we are married, have children or not, or are single, it can be difficult to get to church on Sunday morning. There are many things that can prevent us from going to church, such as an illness or struggling with our mental health, but we shouldn’t stop going to church for any and every reason.
Church needs to be a priority in our lives because it is how we worship with other believers, have fellowship, and learn more about God. While it is not required for salvation to go to church, church is a blessing that can help us in our Christian walk. It can be tempting to hit the snooze button on Sunday morning, but what might it look like if you and your spouse started going to church each Sunday together?
It might help your marriage grow stronger as well as your Christian growth. Going to church each Sunday will take discipline, yet it is not impossible. As believers, we can do hard things because we love God. Since church is where we go to corporally worship God, then there is no reason to miss out on this blessing every Sunday. However, there is also the concept of church trauma and this can prevent us from attending church with our spouse.
Not all churches are the same and this is something I have had to learn as well. I have had many bad experiences at churches and it has kept me away from churches for many years. Sadly, some Christians can be the most judgmental and rude people, but we have to remember that we are going to church for God, not for the people there. While it is ideal to have a strong fellowship community within the church, it is not possible for all people.
Many people within the church are only Christians by name and this is why their words, actions, and behaviors do not align with their profession of faith. As true believers, we have to look to God and know that we can go to church to worship Him. We don’t have to wait until Sunday to worship God, but worshiping together as a body of believers can be very inspiring. If you are struggling with church trauma, know that you don’t have to start going to church right away.
Talk with God and your spouse about how you are feeling. Maybe an online church is the way to go right now and work up from there. If your spouse is the person struggling with church trauma, be there for them, love them, and support them. Even if you might not understand all of their feelings, sit with them in the pain and validate their feelings. By doing this, it will bring comfort in your spouse’s heart and help them feel heard.
When the time comes when both you and your spouse are ready to go to church together, ask God to guide you into what church you should attend. If you or your spouse has had a tough time with churches in the past, visit a few churches, consult God in prayer, and see which one He is leading you to. God is faithful, and He will make your path clear (Psalm 119:105).
Even if an online church or pre-recorded sermons is all you can do right now, know that is more than okay. The Bible tells us, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25). As the writer of Hebrews tells us, we need to continue to meet up together and encourage one another to extend love and to do good things.
Ideally, this is in the confines of the church, but this can also be done within the body of believers outside of the church. Work together with your spouse to try to fulfill Hebrews 10:24-25 in a way that is unique and doable for you. God sees your independent worship and the love you have for Him. With time, it could be that you and your spouse will find a healthy church, who will respect, care, and love you as the Lord does. Until then, keep praying, trusting God, and following Him.
“Dear God, my spouse and I are trying to get into the practice of going to church together, but it can be hard. Due to pre-existing church trauma, we are not prone to returning to a physical church again. Guide us and help us as we start this new chapter in our marriage. Help us to find a true Bible-believing church, that loves You. In Your Son’s Name, I pray, Amen.”
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/gorodenkoff
Related Resource: Engaging with God in a Technology-Saturated World
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