Healthy Boundaries Protect Marriages - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - February 24
Healthy Boundaries Protect Marriages
By: Amanda Idleman
"Don't be fooled by those who say such things, for "bad company corrupts good character." 1 Corinthians 15:33
We are easily influenced. That's just the reality of how we are designed. Every advertising agency, social media platform, and device has been created to hack us into being engaged with what they are trying to sell us.
We are also easily distracted, dissatisfied, and prone to think that the next best thing is better than our current situation.
Contentment does not come naturally to us.
With this in mind, it's vital that we set up healthy boundaries in our marriages. Without guardrails, it's so easy to be lured into believing that more pleasure, excitement, love, and joy could be waiting right outside the confines of our marriage bed.
I have seen couples who were actively engaged in a faith community experience the devastation of infidelity and divorce, and the road away from a healthy marriage began when they distanced themselves from other couples with a strong moral grounding. Boundaries were not firm in their relationship. Over time, they began to spend more of their time with unbelievers or those who lived more of a "party" lifestyle, even as adults married adults with children.
Over time, the walls that protected their marriage began to crumble. One too many drinks led to a little extra flirting, which led to some secret text messages, suddenly quiet meetups with this person, a declaration of love, and eventually broken vows. The aftermath is two broken homes and many broken hearts. When we treat those we've vowed to love, cherish, and protect worse than we would a stranger by choosing to betray our vowed faithfulness to them, so many around us suffer greatly.
Who we surround ourselves with never stops to matter. Just because we are married adults does not mean we are immune to temptation and sin. There have been seasons in my marriage that were so hard to hold on that the only thing that held us together was the encouragement and prayers of our closest friends. They reminded us that our marriage mattered, that it was worth wading through the hard to find our way towards freedom and unity again. Sometimes, we have to borrow the faith of others to weather the storms that life brings our way, so we must choose our village well.
These boundaries also extend to who and what we are engaging with online. If we are viewing inappropriate content, this can begin to breed discontent in your sex life. Fostering unhealthy relationships online also infringes on the sacred convent of marriage. Stay accountable for all you view and everyone you interact with in a digital space as a way to protect your union.
Marriage means a commitment to live openly. We keep everything we do in the light—how we are spending our time. Who we are talking to. What activities we are engaged in for entertainment. No part of us is to stay in the dark. Healthy boundaries remind us at every corner to keep all we do in the light and in the end they protect our marriage from harm.
Let's Pray
Father, we thank you for the sacred gift of marriage. Remind us daily of the vow we made to be faithful, truthful, and committed to our spouse. Help us find the right boundaries for our lives so that all we do stays in the light. Give us strong Christian friends that can encourage us when marriage feels hard, and that can keep us safe when we want to enjoy life with friends. Give us strength to always be honest. Show us how to repent when we need to. Protect our marriages from every temptation. Amen.
Related Resource: Engaging with God in a Technology-Saturated World
Many of us feel hurried, and hurry is costing us more than we realize. The Unhurried Living Podcast with Alan and Gem Fadling provides resources and training to help Christian leaders learn to live and lead from fullness rather than on empty. After realizing the toll technology had taken on his connection with God, his community, and even himself, Carlos Whitaker took radical steps to disconnect in order to reconnect. He spent nearly two months living screen-free at a monastery, an Amish farm, and his own home, experiencing profound transformation along the way. If this episode helps you recenter your work and life on God, be sure to subscribe to Unhurried Living on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
