Surviving Your Spouse's Shiftwork with Grace and Understanding - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - March 6
Surviving Your Spouse's Shiftwork with Grace and Understanding
By: Jennifer Waddle
May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands. (Psalm 90:17)
For over 30 years, my husband and I survived the ups and downs of shiftwork, navigating missed birthdays, holidays, school events, and family gatherings. I wish I could say I handled it with grace and understanding, but that wasn't always the case. Especially in the early years, I struggled to accept the feelings of isolation shiftwork caused. And as my husband worked a mix of nights and days, I found myself trying to hold it all together while maintaining a sense of normalcy for our family.
Shiftwork can put a strain on marriage for sure, but it also provides opportunities to serve our spouses with grace and understanding, bear with one another in love, and lean on God for strength. If you're struggling with your spouse's shiftwork, here are six ways to survive and thrive.
Create a Shared Schedule
Without a family calendar, there will be many miscommunications leading to frustration. I suggest posting a shared schedule in a spot where everyone can see it. This will help you stay connected despite differing work hours. You might consider color coating your schedule to highlight various appointments, events, and reminders according to each family member's needs. By getting everyone on board, there will be greater acceptance of your spouse's shiftwork and, hopefully, more flexibility in your weekly routine.
Communicate Openly
Strong communication is by far the most difficult to implement in a shiftwork situation. We tend to bottle up our emotions, which can lead to anger and resentment. That's why it's important to discuss your feelings openly. For example, if you're feeling overburdened, express it to your spouse without casting blame. The more you communicate, the better you can work together to ensure everyone's needs are met.
Be Flexible
Shiftwork life can be unpredictable, so practice flexibility and patience, preparing ahead of time for changes in plans. Remember, the most important thing about celebrations is the people you're with. Remaining flexible will remove the tension and create a memorable experience for all.
Carve Out Family Time
Be intentional about dedicated family time on days off. Prioritize these moments to stay connected and strengthen your bond. Make family time a weekly commitment, even if it's just a barbecue in the backyard. Allow your spouse the downtime they need, especially if they're switching from days to nights or vice versa. Try not to overwhelm them with planned activities, but include plenty of relaxing family time to rest and reconnect.
Lean on Others
You might be surprised to learn other couples in your church or community are also navigating shiftwork. Connecting with them can provide comfort and support on difficult days. Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." Spouses of shiftworkers can lean on each other, offering babysitting, meals, or other helpful ways to lighten the load.
Pray Together
When trying to survive your spouse's ever-changing schedule, set aside time to pray for each other. This can build intimacy and connection while also strengthening your prayer life. The Lord knows your thoughts and emotions and cares about what you're going through. With His love and grace, you can not only survive your spouse's shiftwork but also thrive in the midst of it.
Here's a Prayer for Grace and Understanding:
Heavenly Father, thank You so much for the job you've provided for my spouse. Even though the shiftwork isn't easy to handle, with You, all things are possible. I ask for more grace and understanding as we navigate the challenges that arise. Please help me to listen more, communicate well, and remain flexible when plans change. Soften my heart towards my spouse, recognizing the toll shiftwork takes on him. Help me to be loving and supportive as much as possible, serving him in ways that will make life easier. Thank You, Lord, for holding our family together with grace and understanding. Please continue to guide us in the days ahead. In Jesus' holy name, amen.
Related Resource: Engaging with God in a Technology-Saturated World
Many of us feel hurried, and hurry is costing us more than we realize. The Unhurried Living Podcast with Alan and Gem Fadling provides resources and training to help Christian leaders learn to live and lead from fullness rather than on empty. After realizing the toll technology had taken on his connection with God, his community, and even himself, Carlos Whitaker took radical steps to disconnect in order to reconnect. He spent nearly two months living screen-free at a monastery, an Amish farm, and his own home, experiencing profound transformation along the way. If this episode helps you recenter your work and life on God, be sure to subscribe to Unhurried Living on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
