The Power of Repentance in Marriage - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - February 12
The Power of Repentance in Marriage
By: Amanda Idleman
Proverbs 28:13 "Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy."
If you've been married for any length of time, one thing is certain: you've messed up.
Marriage is the union of two very imperfect people. We make grand declarations at the start of this journey to love and cherish each other until death separates us, but then we get in the way of living up to our end of this bargain because we are flawed. We are impatient, unkind, moody, opinionated, unforgiving, proud, needy, emotional, short-sighted, selfish, and the list goes on! We do not make it easy on our spouse. They have to work to love and keep loving us as the years of failures can seem to compound themselves if we are not living with a repentant and humble heart.
Thankfully, God understood that when he created marriage, he was really asking us to do the impossible. He knew that there was no way we'd love each other with his true love over a lifetime on our own. Marriage is his good plan for us because it's the primary way that he teaches us how to rely on him and his unending grace—a grace that calls us to a constant pattern of transparency and repentance.
When we hide our failures and pridefully assert our rightness instead of living with a teachable, humble heart, we will not prosper. Confession brings mercy. We need so much mercy for our marriages to be a picture of Christ and his bride, the Church.
I can tell you from experience that pride and demanding your own way to be right leads only towards marital pain. My husband and I spent a lot of time "making a case" against each other day in and day out. It was exhausting and sucked all the joy right out of our house. Neither of us had done anything wildly awful towards the other, but it was just our imperfect humanness that got in the way of us being the partner the other hoped for.
Thankfully by grace that's not the end of the story! If it was, our marriage would be over and we'd be figuring out how to divide custody and assets, a very hard and grueling thing for any family to go through. Repentance ushered healing into our broken relationship.
We had to repent of the pride that said we were justified in the grudges we were holding onto. We had to repent of the behaviors we learned to rely on to protect ourselves from the perceived threat the other brought. We had to repent of not showing compassion, care, empathy, and grace towards each other when we faced times of need. We have to repent of living with unforgiveness, an unteachable heart, and selfishness. We had a lot to repent for.
I bet you do too. Not because you're especially bad at being married but because you are especially bad at being perfect. We all are. Once we embrace our need for grace we grow together so much faster than we ever could imagine.
No matter the grievance, repentance is the key to healing. It's our chance to restore unity in our relationships—something the Holy Spirit gives us because he knows we need it. Even if our partner is not willing to accept our repentance, the tool still is powerful in our own lives. How we treat our spouse directly has to do with how obedient we are to God. We repent out of love for our spouse but more importantly we live with a posture of repentance because we love God. We have to entrust the outcomes to him while being obedient to his process.
Let's Pray:
Father, we thank you for the gracious gift of repentance you've given us. Without the chance to say sorry and try again there is no way we could fulfill the vows to love and cherish our spouse over our lifetime. We need you to help us be reminded that the goal in our homes is unity not rightness. Give us a humble, teachable, and forgiving heart. Keep us close to you and close to each other. We love you! Amen.
Related Resource: Engaging with God in a Technology-Saturated World
Many of us feel hurried, and hurry is costing us more than we realize. The Unhurried Living Podcast with Alan and Gem Fadling provides resources and training to help Christian leaders learn to live and lead from fullness rather than on empty. After realizing the toll technology had taken on his connection with God, his community, and even himself, Carlos Whitaker took radical steps to disconnect in order to reconnect. He spent nearly two months living screen-free at a monastery, an Amish farm, and his own home, experiencing profound transformation along the way. If this episode helps you recenter your work and life on God, be sure to subscribe to Unhurried Living on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
