To Submit or Not to Submit—That Is the Question - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - January 16
To Submit or Not to Submit—That Is the Question
By: Alicia Searl
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21
Submission. A word of great debate, especially among Christian circles. It’s as if the word has taken on a negative connotation, quickly becoming referenced or slung around, usually causing a rift or divide and sadly targeting faithful marriages.
So, it may be wise to ask—what is submission? Better yet, what does the Bible say about this notorious word and how does our God define it?
Before we dig into an actual definition, let’s address one concept first. Why do we, as a society, find it so hard to submit? Why does the very thought of having to submit to another cause shivers down our spine or strikes a nerve, causing immediate tension?
The answer to this is wrapped up in another word—control. We don’t like to submit because we don’t like to be controlled. In other words, we generally don’t like when someone tells us what to do. In other words, we like the freedom to be able to live our lives how we choose.
But friend, here within lies the problem. Where our current culture is all about living for self, being a believer is all about willingly coming under the authority of God. We are called to submit to Christ (James 4:7). When we said yes to our faith, we also said yes to allowing God to move in our lives as we are continually being transformed into a great version of ourselves. In other words, we are given a new heart that longs to become more and more like Jesus.
The way our God views submission is through a heart of love. Just like any loving parent who chooses to lay down their life for the sake of their children, sacrificing so much so that their children can truly live. This is what God does (and did) for us; He surrendered all.
Submission isn’t about control; it’s about love. Our submission is an act of obedience due to God’s great love for us. So, when we surrender our lives to Him, listening and obeying His instruction, we gain an abundant life filled with purpose and meaning.
So, how does this play out in a marriage?
This loving submission is weaved throughout God’s Word, beginning in Genesis and appearing multiple times in the New Testament. This concept is obviously very important to God. He wants us to understand the nature of submission and why we are ALL called to submit.
In Genesis, we see that God loved both His son and daughter, so much so that He created them out of His very own flesh. While God breathed life into man first, He chose to give man a woman as a precious gift so that they could do this life together (Genesis 1:27, Genesis 2:18). This first man and woman were equally loved and so very special to God, but when these two became one flesh, they quickly became the target of the enemy.
Unfortunately, the schemes of the deceiver are still alive and well today. He is still tricking us into thinking that marriage is about control or power. Sadly, these views have been intertwined with destructive and abusive behavior, causing so many unions to crumble under the weight of lies, hurt, and pain. Friend, let me be very clear here. Satan has been attacking the sanctity of marriage from the very beginning!
This is why it is so important to understand how God sees marriage and know that His plan and purpose for marriage don’t fit anywhere in the worldly narrative. God calls for both the husband and the wife to submit to His authority (Ephesians 5:21). The truth is that when each submits their lives to God, they begin to recognize their valuable and purposeful part in their union.
Men are to love and cherish their wives. They are to lead and protect their wives and families, furthermore, seeing it as a great honor to do so (Ephesians 5:25-27). Wives are to come alongside their husbands and support their role as leaders, being their companions. She is to honor and respect her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24, Titus 2:5, Proverbs 31:12).
Yet, in a society that abuses these truths and distorts words, taking them out of context, God makes it very clear here as He calls both husbands and wives to submit to Him but serve one another. Men serve their wife by loving and leaning them in gentleness, where women serve their husbands by respecting his leadership and being his helper. As faithful believers, let’s choose to see the word submission in a brand-new light. Let’s see it as an opportunity to show humble obedience to our God and honor our marriage.
Father, we thank you for the precious gift You give us in a marriage. Please help us see this sacred union as You do, and give us hearts to love and serve one another. Allow us to embrace our purposeful roles and show a very lost and hurting world that marriage can be such a joyful and beautiful relationship when we place You at the center of it and submit to Your will. Amen.
Related Resource: Engaging with God in a Technology-Saturated World
Many of us feel hurried, and hurry is costing us more than we realize. The Unhurried Living Podcast with Alan and Gem Fadling provides resources and training to help Christian leaders learn to live and lead from fullness rather than on empty. After realizing the toll technology had taken on his connection with God, his community, and even himself, Carlos Whitaker took radical steps to disconnect in order to reconnect. He spent nearly two months living screen-free at a monastery, an Amish farm, and his own home, experiencing profound transformation along the way. If this episode helps you recenter your work and life on God, be sure to subscribe to Unhurried Living on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
