Turning to God After the Death of Your Spouse - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - February 4
Turning to God After the Death of Your Spouse
By: Vivian Bricker
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3)
When my grandpa heard the news of his wife's passing, he was paralyzed. I was only a child at the time, but I could see the devastation in my grandfather's eyes. My grandfather was living in an Alzheimer's speciality unit for memory care and my grandma had been in hospice. Sadly, they were not able to be together until the very end. Instead, my grandma passed away at hospice while my grandpa was a few cities away in the Alzheimer's speciality unit.
My mom had to pass on the news to her father, which broke his heart. Due to his Alzheimer's, he was not allowed to go to the family night or the funeral of his own wife. My grandpa had forgotten most people, including my mother, but he hadn't yet forgotten his beloved wife. Even though he was facing a terrible disease himself, he grieved for his wife and this also broke my mother's heart.
My grandpa was severely depressed after the passing of my grandma; however, his Alzheimer's masked it to a certain degree. When we would return in the months after my grandma's passing, he would forget she was gone and would ask my mother how his wife was doing. After a certain point, my mother had to stop telling him that his wife passed away because she couldn't bear doing it anymore—it was just too painful.
There was another woman with Alzheimer's at the care unit, who my grandpa started to think was his wife. Due to Alzheimer's, he had even begun to forget what his own wife looked like. I remember being mad at this woman when I was a child, but as an adult, I now realize that she, too, had Alzheimer's and was never trying to cause problems. Rather, she was suffering from the same terrible diagnosis that my grandpa was suffering from.
My grandpa continued to live for about a year after my grandma passed away, but he never did regain any memory. My mom was left with the pain of both of her parents passing away. She would cry so much that she started wearing sunglasses to hide her swollen eyes and her tears. Coping with the death of our loved ones is hard, especially the death of our spouse.
If you are finding yourself in a place today where you have lost your spouse, know you are not alone. Allow yourself to grieve, cry, and feel your emotions. Don't suppress your feelings or drown them out with other things. Go to God when you're in pain and allow Him to give your heart comfort, peace, and hope.
After your spouse passes away, it can feel as though life will never be the same again, and you're right, it won't be. Part of you has died with your spouse because you were once one flesh (Genesis 2:24). It is okay to take time to grieve and remove yourself from your normal activities for a while. Take time to spend with God and allow Him to comfort your heart.
Psalm 147:3 tells us God heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds. This is true for your current situation. God will heal your broken heart and bind your wounds. Find comfort in these truths. This journey of grief will be hard, painful, and difficult, but it doesn't mean there won't be growth. God can use this time to help you grow in new ways, although it is not easy.
Trust God with this pain. The Lord tells us, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 28:18-20). Give your heart rest today by turning to Jesus and placing your grief at His feet.
Unfortunately, there is not a fast track to healing. You have to travel down this road, but you are not alone. God will be walking beside you, and He will continue to bind up your wounds. When the pain is unbearable, give it over to Jesus. The pain is so bad because you loved your spouse so much.
In addition to taking time to grieve, it is also to find joy in knowing that you will see your spouse again one day in Heaven. This can bring hope to your soul when the days are heavy. You will see your spouse again in Heaven and never again will you have to be separated. Praise God for giving us eternal life through His Son.
"Dear Jesus, I miss my spouse terribly. I cannot deal with this pain and I feel like I'm drowning. Please help me with this grief and pain. I know I will never completely heal from my spouse's death on this side of Heaven, but I know You can give me comfort and peace. Please heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds, Lord. Thank You for always staying by my side and giving us eternal life. In Your Name, I pray, Amen."
Related Resource: Engaging with God in a Technology-Saturated World
Many of us feel hurried, and hurry is costing us more than we realize. The Unhurried Living Podcast with Alan and Gem Fadling provides resources and training to help Christian leaders learn to live and lead from fullness rather than on empty. After realizing the toll technology had taken on his connection with God, his community, and even himself, Carlos Whitaker took radical steps to disconnect in order to reconnect. He spent nearly two months living screen-free at a monastery, an Amish farm, and his own home, experiencing profound transformation along the way. If this episode helps you recenter your work and life on God, be sure to subscribe to Unhurried Living on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
