Why It's Important to Be on the Same Page with Debt
By: Carrie Lowrance
"Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is a servant to the lender." (Proverbs 22:7, NLT)
Money problems are one of the biggest issues in marriage. It is definitely a topic that needs to be addressed before tying the knot so both parties know how money will be handled. However, this is one of those things that often goes unaddressed beforehand.
If you're like most couples, there is a spender and a saver. This is my husband and myself. He's the spender; I'm more of the saver. I've been handling my own finances since I was eighteen. When I took a year off between high school and college, my mom told me she would house and feed me, but I had to take care of everything else. This meant gas, registration, repairs for my car, clothes, personal items, toiletries, etc. I'm used to managing my money, so running a household is nothing to me.
My husband isn't good with money, and that's okay. I think this is common in most relationships. For some people, it's not their forte for different reasons. Some people didn't learn how to handle money effectively, while others tried it but were terrible at it. People may not be good with their finances for all kinds of reasons.
When we got married, we had some debt between us and decided we wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. I was tired of having car payments, credit card bills, and a small amount of school debt hanging over my head. My husband had a small amount of school debt, but that was it. Looking back, I am so glad we were on the same page about this and that most of the debt was mine. I was determined to pay it off and live a debt-free life—not just for me, but for us.
One thing I found to be interesting is that when people think of debt, they always think about people having lots of "stuff," like designer clothes, purses, high-end cars, etc. Sometimes, we have a lot of debt but nothing to show for it. I didn't use my credit card at the time for "stuff"; I was using it for car repairs and vet bills. I was making payments on a four-year-old car and paying off interest-free schooling. Debt doesn't have to be glamorous. You just have to be sick enough of it to do something about it.
Like most people, I read The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, and then our church offered Financial Peace University. We took the class and, from then on, worked hard to pay off our debt. My favorite part of class was when our teacher brought in his paper shredder and a box of mason jars. One by one, we shredded our credit cards, and then he put each of them in a mason jar for each of us. Some of us had one, while others had four or five, including store cards. I took mine home that night, wrote 'Freedom' on a masking tape, and labeled it. That was in 2013; I still have it on my desk today.
Two years later, we paid off all our debts and were debt-free. It was an awesome feeling. We went out to dinner to celebrate and left our server a fifty-dollar tip. He just about fell over. It was a great night.
So, how do you and your spouse get on the same page with debt? Here are some tips.
-Have an honest conversation about debt and how each of you views it. Discuss what you learned about finances growing up and the experiences you have had managing debt.
-Discuss the pros of getting out of debt.
-Agree that both of you will work on getting out of debt.
-Make a plan about how you will get out of debt.
-Talk about what you want to do when you get out of debt.
Let's pray.
Dear Lord, I know you don't want us living under a cloud of debt. I know the borrower is a slave to the lender. I know this is something my spouse and I need to discuss. Please help us have an honest conversation about debt and get on the same page. I know that money issues are the biggest strain in a marriage, and I don't want to live like that. Help us as we talk, make a plan, and start this journey. In your name, I pray. Amen.
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