Why Our Spouses Get Our Leftover Prayers (And How to Change It) - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - January 29
Why Our Spouses Get Our Leftover Prayers (And How to Change It)
By: Jennifer Waddle
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
On a recent kayak trip with my husband, I paddled slowly across the lake, praying for my kids and grandkids. Naming them one by one, I asked for God’s covering and blessing. That’s when I saw my husband coming toward me with a small wave and a smile. The check-in reminded me that I’d forgotten to cover him in prayer—something that happens more often than I’d like to admit.
Why do our spouses get our leftover prayers? It’s not because they aren’t important to us, but perhaps we’ve grown so comfortable with them that we forget they need our intercessions.
As we enjoyed our time on the lake, I made it a point to thank God for my spouse, listing the things I loved most about him and determining to make him more of a priority in my daily prayer life.
If, like me, your spouse tends to get your leftover prayers, here are a few ways to change it.
Pray in Order
Including my husband in my daily prayers becomes easy when I remember the order of things. After my relationship with God, my husband is my next priority. However, I find it easy to put my children and grandchildren first, thinking of their needs above my spouse. Can you relate?
For women, especially, it’s easy to get things out of order—to focus more on ourselves or our kids instead of our husbands. To change this, keeping a prayer journal with a list of requests is helpful, intentionally putting our spouses at the top. Even if there aren’t specific things to pray for, thanking God for them and asking for His divine covering is just as powerful.
Here’s a simple prayer to add to your daily routine: Lord, please bless my spouse today - heart, mind, soul, and strength. Put your hedge of protection around them, blessing them with love and favor. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Once this practice becomes routine, your spouse will no longer get your leftover prayers; instead, they will be prioritized in the beautiful way God intended.
Pray with Gratitude
When I do remember to mention my husband in prayer, the first thing I do is thank God for him. He is gentle, kind, considerate, and trustworthy. Listing these attributes grows my gratitude for him, reminding me to pray even more for the amazing guy he is.
If you’re struggling to list positive characteristics about your spouse, start with just one. Even the smallest thing can spark prayers of gratitude and open up more avenues of thanksgiving and praise.
Perhaps your spouse works hard to provide for your family. Maybe he’s a good dad to your kids. Or it could be he gives great shoulder rubs! Whatever comes to mind, thank God for big things and small. Ask the Lord to open your eyes to even more praise-worthy attributes and purposely pray with a heart of gratitude.
Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” With this verse in mind, thank God daily for providing you with a spouse to love, cherish, and cover in prayer.
Pray in Obedience
As Paul said to the church in Thessalonica, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Imagine what could happen if we applied this same practice in praying for our spouses!
We might not always feel like praying, but when we commit to it in obedience to God, our feelings often follow. Praying continually for our spouses becomes an easy habit when we approach it with purpose and devotion. In this, God sees our faithfulness and blesses our efforts.
From a heart of obedience, prayers for our spouses can make all the difference. Mountains can be moved when we commit to praying for them regularly, making them a priority and thanking God for them. Imagine the marital blessings yet to come as you pray for your spouse first and foremost.
Heavenly Father, thank You for my spouse, who has many amazing qualities and characteristics. Forgive me for overlooking them in my prayers, consistently giving them my leftovers. Please help me prioritize my spouse and consider their needs above my own. Help me be diligent in prayer, purposeful in gratitude, and faithful in obedience. Remind me, daily, to think of them as the first person on my prayer list, covering them with intercession and praise. I am grateful for the spouse You’ve given me, and I’m ready to prioritize them in new ways. I trust You to lead and guide me as I renew my commitment to pray for them. In Jesus’ holy name, amen.
Related Resource: Engaging with God in a Technology-Saturated World
Many of us feel hurried, and hurry is costing us more than we realize. The Unhurried Living Podcast with Alan and Gem Fadling provides resources and training to help Christian leaders learn to live and lead from fullness rather than on empty. After realizing the toll technology had taken on his connection with God, his community, and even himself, Carlos Whitaker took radical steps to disconnect in order to reconnect. He spent nearly two months living screen-free at a monastery, an Amish farm, and his own home, experiencing profound transformation along the way. If this episode helps you recenter your work and life on God, be sure to subscribe to Unhurried Living on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
