Love Always Assumes the Best - Crosswalk PLUS Marriage Devotional
Love Always Assumes the Best
By: Laura Bailey
"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 3:17 ESV
Would you consider yourself a "glass half full" or a "glass half empty" person? Are you quick to see the positive, provide solutions, and give a simple shrug and smile when things don't go well? Or do you lean more into looking at the worst possible outcome? Do you assume people will let you down and aren't surprised when life gives you lemons?
In full transparency, I see the glass as half full, especially regarding relationships. Thankfully, over time, the Lord has worked on my heart. Especially in my marriage, He revealed how important it is for me to assume the best about my spouse.
As newlyweds, I struggled with taking my spouse's perceived infractions as personal slights.
Shoes left on the floor? He doesn't value me and thinks I am only here to serve him.
Is he running a few minutes late for dinner? He must think that my time is less valuable than his.
He didn't remember we had plans this weekend. He doesn't care about spending time with me.
With every small action or inaction, I created a negative narrative, making my husband the forever villain and me the permanent victim. It wasn't until one day when I told my friend about something my husband did and how it made me feel, that I began to think that my perception may not be reality.
"I know that's how you see it, but have you ever tried seeing things from your husband's point of view?" she questioned.
The shoes on the floor were not an expectation of my being his maid but a temporary solution for his aching feet after a long day's work. Being tardy to a meal doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate the energy I spent cooking; he just lost track of time. His struggle to remember dates isn't an indicator of his desire to be together; it's just that sometimes things get lost among the many obligations and responsibilities.
I was so consumed with thinking the worst that it didn't even occur to me that there could be another side to the story. Our key verse reminds us of the four traits of genuine love: love bears, supports, believes, accepts as true, hopes or trusts, and endures or remains faithful.
I am not suggesting that we look beyond every offense or that there aren't opportunities for better communication in our marriages. However, we must give our spouses the benefit of the doubt, a clean slate, and assume the best. Isn't that what we desire for ourselves? I would want my spouse to think the best of me to talk to me before jumping to any conclusions. Often, it is selfishness and pride from both parties that cause unnecessary conflicts.
The next time your significant other does something that grinds your gears, take a step back and try to see the situation from the "half-full" point of view. Share your feelings with them, but keep an open mind and assume the best, not the worst.
Heavenly Father, we are so grateful that our worst, You sent Your Son to die so that we could have eternal life. You offer an abundance of grace, mercy, and forgiveness when we repeatedly sin against You. Lord, we ask that you allow us to do the same for others, choosing to think the best. And in the event we experience disappointment, we speak truth in love. Help us to love others well, knowing that we have the power to love because you have first loved us. Guard our hearts from pride and selfishness and instead put on humility and service. When intrusive thoughts push us to think ill of our spouses, replace them with Your Truth as we seek to glorify You in our marriages. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Application:
Think about the last time you felt slighted or hurt by your spouse's actions. Could a shift in perspective open the door to communication and even change your thoughts about the situation?
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women's ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.
