What Staying Consistent in Faith Taught Me about God’s Presence

Welcome to Christianity.com. My name is Shae Smith, and I am a wife, a stay-at-home mom, a writer, and an occasional speaker. I also sometimes post random reels on Instagram. I have been a Christian for pretty much my entire life.

I came to know Jesus around 10 years old when my mom had this wild conversion in her faith. As she was learning about God, she took my hand and introduced me to this creator who I could know personally and intimately. And she learned new things. She would teach me new things. I remember her at night tucking me into bed and saying, "You know, God is right here, and you can talk to him just like you and I are talking to each other." That kind of freaked me out at seven or eight years old, but it grew my faith in this deep and personal relationship with God.

I had great mentors and went to youth groups and camps. I fell in love with the person of Jesus. When I went to school, I believed I was a missionary to be a light and a hope and so I could teach others about Jesus. I had that perspective, and I held tight all the way through middle school, high school, and college. I went to college wanting to pursue ministry, knowing that I wanted to eventually get my MDiv. Throughout that whole time, I really developed this deep personal relationship with God. I had and have all of these journals filled with these conversations with God, and God is praying for this today. And I would hear his voice back. I'd write a little cross and put a little circle around it, knowing that was what God was speaking back to me.

My relationship with God has been strong, and he has been so good to me, but it's not always been easy. There have been times when I felt like there were seasons where God almost removed his felt presence from me. Not that he removed his hand, but I say it like this: it's almost as if the Holy Ghost ghosted me. I would show up and have my quiet time with him, but it felt like I was just having time with myself. But I knew in my faith that God would never leave or forsake me. I really believed that his presence was there, so there had to be a purpose. God really used that time, what I call a dark night of my soul, and this wilderness season to speak to me in a different way. Not in a way that I could hear his voice like I used to, but in a way that said, "Keep going, keep showing up, keep pursuing." And I did. And I want to say my whole Christian life, my whole walk with God, has been about showing up and staying consistent, investing in that relationship, in a relationship that I couldn't always see or feel.

I really believe my life has been a testimony of tasting and seeing the goodness of God. I have so many blessings that I can only accredit to him. A wonderful husband, three beautiful children, a way to live this life that we're really enjoying. And I give that all back to the glory of God. That's what Psalm 34, 8 has been: to taste and see God's goodness. I'm not saying it's always been easy, but it has been worth it. And if you're listening today and you might have had a story similar to mine, you've known God all your life, keep showing up, keep pursuing him, and you might have had a different story. Sometimes, I used to wish I had the prodigal son moment or the dramatic testimony that I fell away and came back. But I'm so glad that's not my story because I have known a love so deep, great, and so wide.

The best thing of my entire life has been my faith. There's a verse that I've lived by: Ephesians 3, 20. It says, "For God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ever ask or imagine according to his power within us." There is not a day that goes by that I don't beg the Holy Spirit, Lord, to fill me up so that I can pour you out. As a mom, a wife, a writer, and a speaker, I need every ounce of the Holy Spirit that I can minister, that I can wife, that I can mom, and that I can give the fruits of the Spirit. But if I don't have that Spirit, I don't have much to offer. So there's not a day that goes by that I'm not begging him for his Spirit. That's the living, breathing, intimate relationship that has been my faith. And because I've tasted and seen, there's no going back.

I will always put the Lord first because he has been so good to me. I hope my story and my testimony have encouraged you, and I hope that you are blessed today. And I want to encourage you to visit Christianity.com regularly because God is not finished with our story.

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