Being Hurt By Others Was Never in God's Plan - iBelieve Truth: A Devotional for Women - September 13, 2024
“Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” Titus 3:1-2
Living in a fallen world, we have the capacity to hurt others, and others have the capacity to hurt us. Sometimes, hurts are not intentional, but sometimes they are. As followers of the Lord, we don’t need to intentionally hurt others because it can cause lasting pain in our fellow brothers and sisters’ hearts. Rather than intentionally hurting others, we need to be forgiving, kind, caring, and compassionate (Ephesians 4:32).
Additionally, we must be aware of unintentional hurts. If we have hurt someone unintentionally, we need to try to make things right with them. By apologizing and doing whatever we can to show our sincerest remorse, we can show the person that we are sorry for hurting them. Even unintentional hurts can cause lasting pain, and it's best to speak up and ask about the issue.
Instead of thinking things will work themselves out, we need to speak up and reach out to the person. Many problems can be worked through by an honest conversation. By having this honest conversation, the person we hurt will be able to express their feelings surrounding the issue and let us know what we can do to best alleviate the situation. We don’t need to hold on to our pride or become defensive when someone tells us we have hurt them.
As someone who grew up in a family where this was the response, it often left me keeping my feelings to myself. I didn’t want to share how someone had hurt me because I knew the person would just become defensive, creating more anger.
As adults, we need to be able to work through conflicts in a healthy way. Whenever we are talking with someone we have hurt, we need to take time to genuinely listen to them and value what they are saying. They are offering us invaluable information that we need to take to heart. By listening to their feelings and feedback, we will be able to ensure we don’t make the same mistake again.
Again, all of this starts with talking with the person we hurt. We don’t need to wait until they bring it up. Instead, we need to address the issue at hand and show the person we genuinely care about them. This can pave the way for wounds to heal, helping repair broken friendships, relationships, and families.
The same rings true if we are the person who has been hurt. If the person who hurt us reaches out to us, we need to try to talk with them about what happened. Rather than expecting the worst, we need to remember this person truly cares about us. Therefore, we don’t need to be afraid to tell them how their words and actions have hurt us. Now, it's a different story if someone is habitually harming you emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually. But we must be spiritually mature enough to recognize the difference between a toxic person and a loved one who has simply made a mistake, as we all do.
By talking matters over, we might be surprised as to how much better we feel afterward. It's good to get tough feelings off your chest and repair a broken relationship with someone.
The Bible tells us, “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone” (Titus 3:1-2). The Apostle Paul shared this message with Titus, but it also applies to us. We need to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to always be gentle toward everyone.
When we look at these teachings, we see the proper way we should treat others. Rather than growing defensive or aggressive towards others, we need to do whatever is good. This means listening to others, being kind to them, and truly understanding their feelings. Remember, even if they don't return the same favor, we are called to follow Jesus even if nobody else does.
Moreover, slandering no one means we don’t talk badly about others, even if they "deserve" it. Being peaceable and considerate means we are loving, caring, and peaceful in our dealings with others. To be gentle toward everyone means we are humble and kind to everyone. Notice that Titus 3:1-2 tells us to be gentle toward everyone. This means there are no exceptions as we are called to be kind, loving, and caring toward everyone, every day—just as Christ is always gracious and merciful to us though we don't deserve it.
“Dear Lord, I have hurt people in my life, and people have hurt me. Please forgive me for this sin and help me to follow Your example in loving others. Help me to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to always be gentle toward everyone. I give all matters over to You, Jesus. Amen.”
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