Forgiving Yourself and Healing Wounds - iBelieve Truth: A Devotional for Women - February 26, 2025
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25
Ever since I was a child, I had a hard time forgiving others. If someone hurt my feelings, I would hold it against them for weeks. As I got older, I realized this is an unhealthy behavior and I started to learn to forgive. This was not by my own doing—it has been because of the Lord’s help. Without His help, I would not have been able to forgive others or myself.
Similar to many people, I have a tough time forgiving myself. I want to be able to forgive myself, yet I hold myself in a prison of unforgiveness. Due to my past mistakes, intentional hurts, and careless words, I have struggled to accept God's mercy and grace. I should have treated others better and not taken them for granted. Much of my regret is centered around the passing of my mother and all the things I should have done to be a better daughter.
My mom and I had a lot of issues and a complicated relationship, but it never changed the fact that I loved her. While I know I can never receive her forgiveness here on earth, I am sorry for not being the daughter she wanted. My mom wanted a girly-girl daughter who was planning her wedding from the age of ten. After all, that was when my mom started planning her own wedding. In other words, my mom wanted a daughter who was just like her, and I certainly wasn’t a copy of her in any way.
Often comparing me to my dad’s mother, she would say mean things about the way I looked or my facial features. She never liked my brown hair and was constantly trying to lighten it to blonde by utilizing damaging hair products. It took me a long time to accept, but I finally accepted that maybe I do look like my dad’s mom. After all, I have brown hair, but what is so wrong with that? As an adult, I now see that there was nothing wrong with my brown hair or the way I looked, but I wasted much time trying to be somebody I wasn’t to win my mom’s approval.
Spoiler alert: I never did win her approval. And this is something I often have to tell myself to let go. I wasn’t what my mom wanted, but I am enough for the Lord. I don’t need to hold onto unforgiveness toward myself or my mom because all has been forgiven at the foot of the cross. My mom wasn’t perfect, and neither am I. None of us are perfect because we have all fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).
If we are going to truly move forward in our lives, we need to forgive ourselves. We all mess up and we let others down, but we don’t need to be defined by our worst moments. Instead, we need to focus on the good in ourselves and others. When we do this, we will be able to forgive any hurts or pains. This will ultimately heal our wounds and give us strength to carry on.
Jesus tells us, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25). The Lord directly says that we have to forgive others in order for the Father to forgive us of our sins. If we are standing praying, and we remember that we are holding unforgiveness in our hearts against someone, we need to forgive them. By doing this, our sins will also be forgiven.
God’s forgiveness is not conditional, but what Jesus is telling us here is that we need to forgive others. How can we follow in His footsteps if we are holding unforgiveness toward others or ourselves? Once we forgive, we will feel lighter, more at peace, and more confident for the future. Fostering bitterness toward others or ourselves will only result in disorder. Instead of doing this, we need to follow Jesus’ teaching in Mark 11:25.
The next time you are praying to God, release all unforgiveness from your heart. If this is a struggle, ask God to help you forgive the person or to forgive yourself. God is faithful and He will help you. Never doubt the love, peace, and comfort He can provide you. Trust Him with your feelings and all of your pain. He is more than capable of carrying the weight of it all.
Let's pray:
“Dear God, please help me forgive myself and others. I release all unforgiveness and pain to You. You are my good, good Father, and I know You only want what is best for me. Please also heal my wounds from the past and help me to move forward. In Your Son’s Name, I pray, Amen.”
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Related Resource: Anxiety: Practical Steps for Healing in Christ
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