Parenting by Design - June 25

Nagging

Judges 16:15-16:  "With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death" (NIV).

Delilah nagged Samson until he finally revealed the secret of his strength. The phrase "tired to death" sums up the effects of nagging, doesn't it?  Sometimes we give in to our kid's requests, even when we know it's not best for them, just to buy some momentary peace.  It comes at a price, however, because we've rewarded the very behavior we want to discourage.

Parents can be good at nagging, too. One reason we default to nagging is because it's easier than following through with consequences.  It may relieve our anxiety for a moment, but how often does it produce the behavior we are seeking? 

Relationships suffer when we nag.  It's not a behavior that earns respect and it can cause our kids to grow "tired to death" of us.  Even though it's tough to give consequences with empathy, it's a much more considerate way to treat our children.

Giving consequences with empathy is far more effective than nagging.