Parenting by Design - October 10

Building the Temple

1 Chronicles 29:1: Then King David said to the whole assembly: "My son Solomon, the one whom God has chosen, is young and inexperienced.  The task is great, because this palatial structure is not for man but for the Lord God" (NIV).

David longed to build the Lord's temple, but God chose David's son, Solomon, to build it instead. Imagine how tough it was to relinquish this project to his inexperienced son! David helped make preparations, but recognized the actual construction was Solomon's responsibility.

Sometimes we assume responsibility for tasks that belong to our children. It is hard for us to distinguish between helping and taking over. Their youth and inexperience cause us to lack confidence in their abilities and we intervene by directing, reminding, nagging, or rescuing them from mistakes. It lowers our anxiety, but undermines the lessons they need to grow and mature.

If we wait until they are out of high school to relinquish control, they may be ill-equipped to make responsible decisions. Make your expectations clear, but allow your kids to own age-appropriate tasks—homework, waking up in the morning, remembering supplies—and to experience the consequences of their actions. This is how we prepare them to "build the temple" without us.