How to Nurture Your Wife Spiritually

Now we look at the hardest part of a godly dad's role. There is no way we can ever minister to our wife’s deepest needs if we are not holy! The key to a godly marriage and a powerful Christian home is the personal experience of godliness. We try so hard and then lessen our grip on the essentials and then they slip away! Remember the humorous recounting of our lessening of our loving care of our wives?

A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS A WONDERFUL BLESSING

Winston Churchill[1] once attended a formal banquet in London at which the attending dignitaries were asked the question, “If you could not be who you are, who would you like to be?” Naturally everyone was curious as to what Churchill, seated next to his beloved Clemmie, would say. When it finally came Churchill’s turn, the old man, who was the dinner’s last respondent to the question, rose and gave his answer. “If I could not be who I am, I would most like to be” — here he paused to take his wife’s hand — “Lady Churchill’s second husband.” The old boy made some points that night. But his comments also apply to everyone who has a good marriage.

THE SEVEN AGES OF THE MARRIED COLD

Several years ago, the Saturday Evening Post published an article entitled "The Seven Ages of the Married Cold."  It revealed the reaction of a husband to his wife's colds during their first seven years of marriage.  It went something like this:

·         The first year:  "Sugar dumpling, I'm really worried about my baby girl.  You've got a bad sniffle, and there's no telling about these things with all this strep throat going around.  I'm putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general checkup and a good rest.  I know the food's lousy, but I'll be bringing your meals in from Rossini's.  I've already got it all arranged with the floor superintendent."

·         The second year:  "Listen, darling, I don't like the sound of that cough.  I called Doc Miller and asked him to rush over here.  Now you go to bed like a good girl, please?  Just for papa."

·         The third year:  "Maybe you'd better lie down, honey; nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy.  I'll bring you something to eat.  Have you got any canned soup?"

·         The fourth year:  "Now look, dear, be sensible.  After you've fed the kids, washed the dishes, and finished the floor, you'd better lie down."

·         The fifth year:  "Why don't you take a couple of aspirin?"

·         The sixth year:  "I wish you'd just gargle or something, instead of sitting around all evening barking like a seal!"

·         The seventh year:  "For Pete's sake, stop sneezing!  Are you trying to give me pneumonia?!

The decline of marriage as seen through the common cold is a funny look at a not-so-funny reality.

One gifted author[2] has identified 25 ways to be a husband discipling his wife:

1.       A husband discipling his wife includes his wife in envisioning the future. 

2.       A husband discipling his wife accepts spiritual responsibility for his family. 

3.       A husband discipling his wife is willing to say "I'm sorry" and "forgive me" to his family. 

4.       A husband discipling his wife discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure these are fairly distributed. 

5.       A husband discipling his wife seeks the consultation of his wife on all major financial decisions. 

6.       A husband discipling his wife follows through with commitments he has made to his wife. 

7.       A husband discipling his wife anticipates the different states his marriage will pass through. 

8.       A husband discipling his wife, likewise, anticipates the stages his children will pass through. 

9.       A husband discipling his wife frequently tells his wife what he likes about her. 

10.   A husband discipling his wife provides financially for his family's basic living expenses.

11.   A husband discipling his wife deals with distractions so that he can talk with his wife and family. 

12.   A husband discipling his wife prays with his wife on a regular basis. 

13.   A husband discipling his wife initiates meaningful family traditions. 

14.   A husband discipling his wife initiates fun outings for the family on a monthly basis, or even more often. 

15.   A husband discipling his wife takes the time to gibe his children practical instruction about life, which in turn gibes them confidence with their peers.

16.   A husband discipling his wife goes over the upcoming week with his wife to clarify their schedule and anticipate any pressure points.

17.   A husband discipling his wife keeps the family out of debt. 

18.   A husband discipling his wife lets his children into the interior of his life. 

19.   A husband discipling his wife makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will and arranged a well-conceived a plan for their children in case of death. 

20.   A husband discipling his wife lets his children into the interior of his life. 

21.   A husband discipling his wife praises his wife often in public. 

22.   A husband discipling his wife explains sex to each child in a way that gives him or her a wholesome perspective. 

23.   A husband discipling his wife encourages his wife to grow as an individual. 

24.   A husband discipling his wife takes the lead in establishing wit his wife clear and will-reasoned convictions. 

25.   A husband discipling his wife joins a small group of men who are dedicated to improvising their skills as husbands and fathers. 

26.   A husband discipling his wife provides time for his wife to pursue personal interests. 

What Are We to do As Husbands to Disciple[3] Our Wife?

1.   First we need to consider what every wife needs to succeed:

v     COMPANIONSHIP: Proverbs 31:11  The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

v     SECURITY: Proverbs 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

v     SIGNIFICANCE: Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

v     EMOTIONAL RESPONSIVENESS: Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

2.   Second, we as husbands[4] need to provide for our wife what she desperately wants to know about us:

v     What we look to as we define our identity,

v     How very deep is our insecurity,

v     How we measure our success by our performance. 

Then our wife can understand[5] that we need them to help us succeed:

1.      A husband needs to feel his wife's admiration,

2.      A husband needs to feel his wife's support,

3.      A husband needs to feel that his wife supports him in his work,

4.      A husband needs to feel his wife's support for him in public,

5.      A husband needs to feel his wife's support through all the seasons of life.

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