3 Things to Do When Jesus Appears Silent in Prayer
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- Published Apr 16, 2024
A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.” Jesus did not answer one word (Matthew 15:22-23).
When I was studying for my doctorate, I conducted a research project on the practice of prayer. Twelve participants agreed to pray a series of prayers each morning for 10 weeks.
At the end of each week, they submitted reflections on their experience. Did they enjoy their time of prayer? Did they feel closer to God? Was their time of prayer significant for them?
The study was a huge success. Each participant testified that prayer brought a deeper connection with God and with others. A hundred percent of the participants felt as if their faith increased through the practice of prayer.
This was what I expected. But the study also revealed something else, something I hadn’t expected: A hundred percent of participants also recorded deep frustration with prayer.
Prayer is vital to our life with God. It is one of the most important activities of our spiritual lives. But this doesn’t mean it’s always easy.
We don’t always receive instantaneous answers. As good and faithful as our prayers may be, there may be times when the Lord seems absent or silent.
The Canaanite woman (also known as the Syrophoenician woman in Mark’s gospel) has this exact experience. Scripture records how she approaches Jesus on behalf of her demon-possessed daughter.
If ever there was a noble prayer it would be the prayer of a mother on behalf of her child. Yet, curiously, frustratingly, “Jesus did not answer her one word.” In the face of her prayer, Jesus appears uncomfortably silent.
What do we do when Jesus appears silent to our prayers? How do we maintain faith? The Canaanite woman shows us the way. Despite the Lord’s silence, she maintains her faith in who Jesus is and what Jesus promised.
In doing so, she obtains healing for her daughter and is praised for her great faith. Thus, when Jesus appears silent to our prayers, we can follow the Canaanite woman’s example and engage in the following three actions.
1. Recognize Jesus’ Presence
Like all Scripture, this account must be viewed in its larger context. We can’t excise this event from the surrounding narrative.
Matthew and Mark both record that immediately prior to Jesus’ encounter with the Canaanite woman, he confronts the Pharisees in the region of Gennesaret.
During this confrontation, Jesus teaches that spiritual cleanliness is not based on external matters such as lineage or ritual sacrifice. This contradicts the pharisaical teaching that adherence to the Law was of supreme importance.
Those who did not abide by the demands of the Torah were deemed unclean. Jesus combats this understanding by saying, “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them” (Matthew 15:17-18). Jesus is clear that righteousness before God is a matter of a faithful heart.
Jesus’ teaching is radical enough, but following this lesson, as if to put his teaching into action, Jesus immediately enters the region of Tyre and Sidon. Not only was Tyre and Sidon Gentile territory but it was also seen as the epitome of all pagan apostacy.
No Jewish person — let alone a Rabbi — would ever enter such a godless territory. Faithful Jews avoided Tyre and Sidon lest they become unclean themselves.
But in an act of spiritual audacity, Jesus travels to this region. He stands with the very people the Pharisees deemed unclean and wretched.
For the Canaanite woman, the fact that Jesus was present before her spoke a word of hope and care. Even though Jesus spoke no word of response to her prayer, his presence is what mattered to her.
She calls out to him and casts herself before him because she knows that his presence, in some way, means his availability. Jesus is there for her!
When we are frustrated with the Lord’s seeming lack of response to our prayers, we, too, can recognize the Lord’s unyielding presence.
The incarnation of God in Christ Jesus, and the descent of the Holy Spirit into our lives, means we can be confident that the Lord dwells with us. We are never alone.
2. Cling to Jesus’ Promises
Of course, the presence of Jesus doesn’t mean we won’t experience frustration in our prayers. Like the Canaanite woman, we may encounter an apparent silence by Jesus. Jesus may not appear to answer our prayer, and this may seem confusing to us.
Yet the question we hold before us is not “Do we understand the Lord’s response?” but “Will we cling ruthlessly to Jesus?” Will we believe that with Jesus, there is healing and grace? Will we remain with him?
This is what Canaanite woman does. When everything seems to be going against her, she remains with Jesus.
When the disciples try to send her away, and when she hears Jesus respond with, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel,” she throws herself before the Lord and pleads, “Lord, Help me!” (Matthew 15:25).
She doesn’t give up. Even when Jesus declares that “it’s not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs,” a response that appears dismissive and insulting, that woman clings to the fact that Jesus’ grace and mercy transcends all barriers.
In Jesus Christ, the goodness and grace of God flow down to everyone. The answers to our prayers are never based on deserving or earning but on the goodness and grace of God.
In those times when our prayers seem frustrating or discouraging, the call of faith is to believe steadfastly in Christ’s mercy and love.
Jesus says, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek, and you will find, knock and the door will be open to you. For everyone who asks receives, the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8).
This is Christ’s promise to us. We persist in prayer, not because we need to convince Jesus to answer us, but because we dare to believe that Christ is true to his promises and he will be merciful and responsive.
3. Dare to Have Hope
The Canaanite woman was resolute in hope. She simply would not accept the idea that Jesus would be unconcerned about the plight of her daughter.
She proclaims, “Yes Lord, but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from the master’s table” (Matthew 15:27). She says this not as a point of argumentation but rather as a daring declaration of hope and faith.
In the end, the woman’s daughter is healed. Despite the seeming silence of Jesus at the beginning of the encounter, Jesus shows himself to be the person this woman thought he was. He is the one who extends grace and mercy to all.
The Canaanite woman testifies that even amid our confusion or frustration in prayer, we can live in hope. Jesus is compassionate and gracious. He reaches down and responds to the deepest needs of our lives.
His delays are never his dismissals, and times of apparent silence are never a severing of his love. While his response to our prayers may not occur right away, Jesus shows himself to be the Messiah for all people.
For further reading:
Does God Answer Our Prayers if We Don’t Repent?
What Do We Do with the Answer God Gives Us in Prayer?
Is it Wrong to Be Angry with God?
Can We Learn How to Hear the Voice of God?
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/izusek
This article is part of our prayer resources meant to inspire and encourage your prayer life when you face uncertain times. Remember, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us, and God knows your heart even if you can't find the words to pray.
Prayers for Healing
Morning Prayers
Prayers for Family
Prayers for Surgery
Prayers for Strength
Night Prayers Before Bed
Prayers for Protection
The Lord's Prayer: Our Father
