It’s the little moments filled with the shadows of what could have been. When your baby has her first bath. When you can’t remember what the secret ingredient was that she always added to the family recipe, or when you just need her to say you’re doing a great job. The loss of a mother leaves us feeling like little Orphan Annie whether we’re five, twenty-five, or older.
It’s never easy, even if your mother is a believer and you know she is in Jesus’ arms. Even so, the Bible provides comfort, consolation, and prayers for the loss of a mother.
The death of a mother is heartbreaking. Whether it was expected or unexpected. It leaves us grieving throughout our lifetime wishing she was just a phone call away. It’s hard to know what to do when we are accustomed to turning to mom for advice about anything and everything. She would be the one to tell you how to get stains out of laundry, the best potty-training tricks, how to be a listening ear to an obnoxious teenager and so much more. She was the rock and foundation of your world and now she is gone.
Throughout the Bible, there are many examples of people mourning the loss of a loved one including Jesus. Although He didn’t lose His mother, He did lose a close friend. He understood our grief and wept. But there are several examples of mothers dying in the Bible—mostly to childbirth.
Ichabod’s Mother
Before Ichabod’s mother died, she named him based on the grief of the battle that happened around her. Ichabod means “departed glory,” as he was born on the day that the art was stolen and taken into captivity by the philistines. He never knew his mother, but he knew how her heart ached for the Lord and her country.
Joseph and Benjamin’s Mother
Joseph never got to see his mother again after he was sold into slavery by his brothers at the age of 17. Later, he was imprisoned after being accused of something he didn’t do. Later, because of his patience and trust in the Lord, God raised him up as second in command in Egypt, saving a whole nation from starvation—including the brothers who betrayed him. When the family made amends, he was in his 30’s and learned his mother had died giving birth to his youngest brother Benjamin.
She was in her mid-thirties and the labor was intense. With her last dying breath, she named her son Ben-Oni, meaning “son of my sorrow.” But Jacob changed his name to mean “son of my right hand.”
Issac’s Mother
Isaac’s mother Sarah was 127 when she died. But before she drew her last breath, she met Isaac’s wife and blessed them. We learned because of his wife, he was comforted in the death of his mother.
Moses’ Mothers
Moses lost his mothers in ways that are like death. His mother protected him at birth from the decree of the king to kill all newborn baby boys. So, she came up with a plan and was able to be a nurse to him as he was raised in the palace. But because of Moses’ choices and temper, he fled to the desert where he lived for decades before the Lord used him to bring his nation out of slavery. When he goes back to Egypt, he learns his mother had passed and there is no mention of his adoptive mother.
These examples give us insight into the lives and families of the Bible. These mothers all valued being a mother. It was their highest calling and duty. They loved and cherished motherhood. They cherished their children.
The loss of a mother, no matter how old you are, will change your life forever. As I think about a very close friend who lost her mother in her twenties, she has learned to live with the loss, but she will never get over it. Her mother is never far away from her thoughts and daily life. A mother’s love will always be with her children but losing her is one of the deepest sorrows each of us will encounter one day. But her love, her care, her embrace, and her wisdom will live on as a legacy.
Knowing what to say to some who is mourning her mother is daunting. We don’t want to say the wrong thing, but we don’t want to stay silent either. Whether you opt to send a sympathy card, a caring gift, or offer kind words, there are always meaningful ways you can show the person in mourning that you support them during this time. If you knew her mother, you could personalize what to say or what to write in a card:
I can imagine how difficult this time may be for you. I want you to know that your mother was amazing, and I know how much she loved you.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I pray that God comforts you in your darkest hours.
Thinking about you and sending lots of love during this difficult time.
Your mother’s kindness, generosity, smile, and presence will be deeply missed.
Thinking about you and sending lots of love during this difficult time.
No matter how you feel or what you're going through, I am here to walk alongside you as you process this loss.
I love you and am always here for you.
I can only imagine how much you miss your mom. I miss her so much too. What happened was devastating and I'm here for you in any way you need.
Offering words of comfort are welcomed during this time of mourning and so are thoughtful prayers. You can either pray these prayers for your friends and family as they journey through their loss or you can pen these words into a card, text, or letter. Knowing that someone has actually prayed provides a deep sense of reassurance and solace.
A Prayer for Comfort and Mercy
Father of Compassion,
Please be a refuge and pillar of strength. A dear friend has lost her mother and she mourns the loss so deeply. God, we thank you for the wonderful woman this mother was. We thank you for the strength, wisdom, courage, and life lessons she taught all of us by her example. She meant so much to all of us and I thank You that she was ushered into Your presence. Father God, I thank You that her mother, while no longer with us in this life, will live forever with You. You conquered the grave and opened the gates of heaven. I entrust my sweet friend and her mama into Your gracious care and look to You with faith and hope in everlasting life, to comfort her in her grief and pain. In Your powerful name, Amen. (Heather Riggleman)
A Prayer for a Friend Who’s Lost Her Mother
Father God,
You are the God of compassion, solace, and refuge. My friend needs you every hour—she’s lost her mother and we know You are holding her in Your arms as You welcome her into heaven. God, you know that encountering death is never easy but that’s why You sent Your sent. Encourage my friend’s soul to rise to You when the pain and the loss are too much. Lord, she needs You more than ever. During this time of loss, help her remember that You knew her mother from birth and that she died in Your loving arms. Help her to trust in the name of Jesus who conquered sin and death. Help her take solace that she will one day see her mama again. May the Words in your good book bring her comfort, Amen. (Heather Riggleman)
A Prayer for a Family Grieving the Loss of a Mother
Dear Father,
She was a pillar, a gift of love, a treasure to my soul. Always caring, ever kind, and giving, even as she grew old. To me, she was a lovely mum, to you a beloved child. I could only know her a little, you knew her spirit deep inside. Whilst waves of grief break over me, crushing like a storm, You've greeted her with a warm embrace, and gently called her home. It's silent and so empty here, since she passed away, and yet she will hear celebration, called forever into grace. My memories are treasures now, I'll value, keep and sow, I know she's taken all her riches, left the chaff, and worn the gold! As time passes, I'll forget the hurt and pain she bore, For now, she's free, restored, and peaceful, in your arms forevermore. I'll let each bulb, each bud, each bloom, sing to me of your love. For you reign in eternity, and I'll wait for your kingdom to come. Thank you for my special mum, I trust her to your care, we rest in your arms secure and safe, we are both children there. (Lord’s Prayer Words)
Prayer for the Loss of a Mother
Heavenly Father,
At this moment, nothing seems to be able to help the loss I feel after my mother's passing. My heart is broken, and my spirit mourns. All I know is that Your grace is sufficient and there is comfort knowing she is with you in heaven. This day, this hour, moment by moment, I choose to lean on You, for when I am at my weakest Your strength is strongest. I pour out my grief to You and praise You that on one glorious day when all suffering is extinguished and love has conquered we shall walk together. Amen. (Beliefnet)
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