Therapy or Prayer? Finding the Right Path to Healing
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard Christians utter some version of the following, I’d find a counseling center where clients can name their price.
“I don’t need a therapist. I’ll pray more.”
Don’t get me wrong. As a practicing Christian, I endorse prayer as a way of life. I write about prayer, the Bible, faith in God, and how God heals even our grief because I’ve witnessed His faithfulness to my family and me.
You’ll never find me defaming spiritual strategies. To quote Paul, they “are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds” (2 Corinthians 10:4, AMPC).
Unfortunately, some of God’s people have an interesting take on these powerful spiritual weapons, especially when it comes to mental health. The Christians whose stance started out our article have used prayer as code for “don’t bother me about seeking mental health treatment.”
It doesn’t mean they don’t literally pray to get better. They might very well have. However, they also dismiss therapy as a viable option. In other words, they pray and say nay to therapy.
That’s our topic today. At what point in a believer’s life is therapy warranted? Or are we only to rely on prayer?
Let’s begin by focusing on the latter.
When Do You Need Prayer?
We can all pray—all the time.
Romans 12:12, Colossians 4:2, and 1 Thessalonians 5:17 unanimously exhort us never to stop praying. These, plus the fact that Jesus crafted parables to encourage us to keep at it—for example, see Luke 18 about the widow who kept petitioning a judge to defend her—clue us in that sometimes, our prayers don’t yield instantaneous answers.
So, keep praying for your loved ones, no matter what they’ve been diagnosed with. From resolving bipolar disorder to borderline personality disorder, there’s nothing our God can’t do. The One who can calm an upset stomach can also arrest dementia’s progression and even restore disintegrating neurons.
Having said that, let me also assert that we can pray and be in therapy. But if you’re suspicious that seeking therapy may displease God, consider reviewing reasons why it doesn’t.
When Do You Need Therapy?
As of this writing, I’ve worked as a licensed psychologist for 16+ years. I’ve treated clients with bona fide clinical disorders and also a subgroup that attempted to self-medicate, which then earned them a dual diagnosis, because they had to cope with not just the initial disorder, but also the addiction that developed afterwards.
But that’s not all. I’ve also seen clients who had no formal diagnosis at all. They sought my help for non-clinical matters, like wanting to feel more confident or communicate more clearly. Having freshly discovered IFS therapy, some felt compelled to learn more about their own internal worlds. Couples signed up to shore up their marriage.
My clients’ varied backgrounds convince me that you don’t need an extensive trauma history to make an appointment with a therapist. Everyone can benefit from seeing a mental health professional.
But please slide “seeing a therapist” to the top of your to-do list if any of the following apply:
Recent Trauma
Think of psychological trauma as any adverse event that overwhelms our ability to respond. Examples include experiencing the unexpected death of a loved one, losing your belongings in a fire (or other natural disasters), enduring a serious accident, and witnessing (or surviving) violence.
If a recent incident traumatized you, there will be signs galore. Pay attention to your daily functioning: Is your sleep disturbed? Do you have nightmares, reduced sleep, or outright insomnia? Do you wish to sleep away time?
How is your appetite? Has eating been out of control? Notice both ends of the spectrum, whether you have consumed too much or not enough.
Scrutinize your mood as well. If you’ve had mood swings, loss of motivation, listlessness, anxiety, or agitation, these are strong reasons to contact a mental health professional. The same goes for intrusive and recurring thoughts, as well as flashbacks and memories of the terrible ordeal you withstood.
Relational Conflicts
God created us in His image (Genesis 1:27). Since the Godhead is inherently relational, humans are too. The Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit enjoy a built-in fellowship.
Of course, there’s no infighting within the Trinity. No wonder humans also thrive when our relationships are harmonious.
Research lends support to this notion. According to Dr. Mark Brackett, a 30-minute argument with your spouse can slow your body’s ability to heal by at least one day. If you argue regularly, that delay is doubled.
Let me suggest a caveat: A healthy soul experiences a robust relationship, not just a spousal relationship. Still, Dr. Brackett’s data illustrates the principle in 3 John 1:2 well: “I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”
The body and the soul are interrelated; our bodies follow suit when our relationships are bruised. So, contact a therapist if you find yourself in never-ending arguments (or worse).
Suicidal Thoughts
Suicidality runs on a spectrum. Someone who has an idle wish to cease existing—but has no plans to commit suicide—will sprint to safety if a careening bus is headed her way. Another suicidal soul may share the same wish to die, but has been entertaining recurring thoughts of what it would be like to stop living. If the same bus is hurling down his path, this person may passively stand there instead of trying to escape.
Other suicidal people harbor stronger death wishes. Depending on how intensely they want to stanch the pain associated with living, they may actively plan their exit strategy, down to the most minute detail.
Paul set the standard for us Christians. To live is Christ (Philippians 1:21). We’ll talk about the rest of the verse later; let’s emphasize how our dominion extends only to the first half. We’re called to steward the life God has bestowed upon us. As stewards, we must perform our tasks faithfully (1 Corinthians 4:2).
Yes, the rest of the verse does say “to die is gain.” This means believers can view death as a promotion. But we lack the authority to tamper with the timing of the second half of Philippians 1:21. Besides, pursuing all that life in God’s Kingdom has for us here, on earth, will keep us busy until it’s time to retire our mortal bodies and head for heaven.
If you have a hard time keeping yourself alive (Psalm 22:29), please get in touch with a Christian therapist. There’s no shame in seeking help.
Jesus’ life was cut short (Isaiah 53:8, NLT), so ours doesn’t have to be.
Survivors of Sexual Violence
Having a history of sexual violence elevates the risk of being revictimized. Experts estimate that 2 of every three individuals who have been sexually victimized are revictimized later in life.
Opening up about the violence you endured might make the alternative—holding a silent vigil—appear appealing. However, staying mum is detrimental. Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk warned, “Silence about trauma also leads to death—the death of the soul. Silence reinforces the godforsaken isolation of trauma. Being able to say aloud to another human being, I’m not making it since I got back from Iraq,’ is a sign that healing can begin.”
What he referred to in the quote—about combat-related trauma—applies to trauma in general.
So, should Christians pray or seek therapy? I want to respond by paraphrasing Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 3:21-23. “All things are yours, whether prayer or therapy or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.”
In other words, prayer and therapy are yours—if you’re willing to avail yourself of these resources.
Click here to find a Christian therapist near you, and here, you can find a Christian therapist if you’re interested in IFS therapy.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/People Images
Originally published April 26, 2025.
