Forgiveness: Our Greatest Need and God's Greatest Gift

Day after day, they headed to the garage for some "daddy time." Dan built a workbench just for Jered beside his own slightly larger workstation. Jered had his own toolbox and tool belt, just like his Dad's. I could hear them singing, laughing, hammering, and buzzing happily for hours. Since Dan especially loved working with pine, he kept a good supply on hand, piling leftover or unused pieces in Jered's wood box for his special projects. There was one problem. Jered was utterly fascinated by those power tools and was constantly sneaking into the garage, hoping his Dad had left one plugged in for him to use. 

We had to come up with a solution – and fast! 

Christmas was just around the corner, so Dan and I went from store to store until we found the ideal gift for Jered and the perfect solution to the power tool dilemma. It was the cutest workbench with its own set of plastic tools! 

We wrapped and placed the workbench under the tree, anticipating the look on Jered's face when he opened his "workshop in a box." Christmas morning came, and every gift had been opened, but the strangely wrapped bulky one was waiting for the resident junior carpenter. With sheer delight, Jered ripped the paper away, revealing our "perfect" present. Cautiously picking up the red hammer, he thoroughly examined each tool before turning to us, his face a picture of disappointment and determination. "These are baby tools. I cannot use them because I am not a baby. I have to use real tools like Daddy's tools."  

With a sense of finality, Jered headed straight for the garage and certain danger. His Dad followed him outside as I prayed for just the right words of explanation for both father and son. Kneeling beside his son, Dan picked up the sander and gently said, "Jered, these tools were made to fit Daddy's hands."

Holding out his big hands and placing Jered's small hands in his, Dan pointed out the difference in size. He went on to explain that in Jered's hands, the tools could be destructive and harm him. But in Daddy's hands, they were constructive tools that could build and create. 

Revenge was never intended for our hands. It belongs in the hands of God. Our revenge destroys, while God's vengeance brings justice and restoration. Part of true forgiveness is releasing the hurt and letting go of the pain! Instead, we often hold onto that pain, using its power to fuel the revenge we seek. 

It is easy for our hearts to become bent on revenge. But the Apostle Paul issues a strong warning about revenge. "Do not take revenge, my friends…leave room for God's wrath. 'It is mine to avenge. I will repay,' says the Lord." Romans 12:19 

We must make forgiveness a habit! The apostle Peter once came to Jesus asking, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seven times seventy.'" The religious priests of Jesus' day taught that an offended person needed to forgive only three times. The answer of Jesus must have shocked Peter. Seventy times seven! Four hundred and ninety times! How could anyone possibly keep up with that many offenses? 

Exactly!

That was the point that Jesus was trying to make. We are to keep no record of wrongs! There should be no limit to our forgiveness because there is no limit to His forgiveness. When we refuse to forgive, we become a prisoner of our bitterness, making the person we are unwilling to forgive our jailer! 

Forgiveness cannot be conjured or worked up; it is a deliberate choice we must make repeatedly. If we choose to forgive, God will supply all the forgiveness we need. One of our grandchildren schooled us in this truth. Our daughter Danna tries to shield her young son from the gory parts of this world. Justus gave his heart to Jesus when he was five years old. It was the real deal! Since that day, Justus has been so sensitive to the pain of others and seems compelled to do something to improve the situation. When he can't, he is desolate. 

Danna tried to talk him out of giving his life to Christ. I mean, he was only five. Could he understand the decision he was making? Justus was not having it! Every night at bedtime, he said, "Mom, I'm ready! I want to give my heart to Jesus!" Danna went through the steps we must take to fully surrender our life to Jesus until the night Justus looked at Danna and her husband Sam and said, "Look, guys, I'm giving my heart to Jesus tonight – with or without you!" Danna and Sam raced to Justus' room, knelt beside him, and listened as Justus prayed what they said was the most amazing prayer they had ever heard. As parents, they knew eternal business was conducted that night. 

Justus has always been compassionate, but after he gave his life to Christ, that sensitivity and compassion seemed to grow more intense as he learned what it means to follow Jesus. 

Sidebar:

Dan and I raised our children, Danna, and Jered, in South Florida. Dan pastored Flamingo Road Church for over 13 years, so South Florida is home to our kids. I was furious when we heard about a shooting where several high school students were killed! That school was about 10 minutes from the church we had once served. It was devastating! 

Being the spiritual giant I am, I wanted to find the man who murdered innocent men, women, and children and take him apart. Not Justus. He watched the news and covered his eyes every time a new replay of the horrific would come until his eyes filled with tears, and he could not watch anymore. 

At dinner, with clenched fists, he prayed, "God, please be with all of those families who lost one of their kids today." Justus will do anything within his power to help someone in pain. Our daughter said that as she listened to Justus, she asked God to find the young man who had committed the crime and make him pay. Then the voice of her young son pierced her heart. 

"And God, please help that man who shot all the kids give his heart to You so You can fix it. Please send someone to tell him how much You love him! Please, Jesus! He just needs You." Danna said everyone, including Justus, seated at the table was weeping by the time Justus finished praying. 

I am a fixer – but I had honestly been hoping that the police would catch the shooter and slam him into jail where he belonged. I did not want God to fix his heart. I know. I should know better. I do. I was just angry and wanted to see the shooter pay for what he did - a hideous crime of unspeakable pain and life-shattering sorrow. 

Not Justus. 

Justus was deeply concerned about the parents of the kids who were shot. "Mimi, what about all of the moms and dads who try to pick up their child from school … but their kid was killed? What do they do then?" Then, with tears streaming down his beautiful cheeks, Justus got to the heart of the matter. "Mimi, that man who shot all of those people just needs Jesus," Justus said. 

Justus went straight to the true heart of the matter – the shooter's heart. Jesus does the same thing. He goes straight to our hearts. Jesus looks beyond our faults and sees our needs. With compassion and love, He then offers grace and healing to fix our hearts on Him. 

I want to be like Justus. And I want to be like Jesus. I want to weep for those whose pain is so great that they are compelled to dispense sorrow and hurt freely. May we all be able to look past their faults and see their need – Jesus. May we come to the place where we can do what Jesus did for us – forgive the unforgivable. 

Forgiveness is our greatest need, but it is also God's greatest gift. We must choose to let go of pain and hurt, making forgiveness a life-changing habit. 

Who needs your forgiveness today? 

Mary Southerland is also the Co-founder of Girlfriends in God, a conference and devotion ministry for women. Mary’s books include, Hope in the Midst of Depression, Sandpaper People, Escaping the Stress Trap, Experiencing God’s Power in Your Ministry, 10-Day Trust Adventure, You Make Me So Angry, How to Study the Bible, Fit for Life, Joy for the Journey, and Life Is So Daily. Mary relishes her ministry as a wife, a mother to their two children, Jered and Danna, and Mimi to her six grandchildren – Jaydan, Lelia, Justus, Hudson, Mo, and Nori.