How Can We Embrace Joy in Heartbreaking Circumstances?

Tragedy, broken relationships, natural disasters, and other situations can bring sorrow, pain, and hardship. But the Bible tells us to count it as joy when we face challenges (James 1:2-4). That expands the idea of realizing how difficulties produce a steadfast faith that can be a witness to others. The passages also share that such faith makes us more complete. That's easy to state but harder to do.

I've faced many circumstances that included the loss of my husband, hospitalization with pneumonia, financial setbacks, and a myriad of natural disasters that caused great damage. The joy from the Lord remained deep in my heart even as I faced sorrow and pain. It's not the same as happiness or pleasant feelings.

Happiness tends to depend on circumstances, and it's an emotional reaction of pleasure to something viewed as good. I'm happy because I got my way, I have something I desired, or something said made me laugh. Joy is a gift of the Holy Spirit, a lasting, more profound feeling of God's love in us. It remains when things go wrong, although our emotional reactions will still go up and down. We can look to God for that special gift of joy in all circumstances and see how it plays out in people's lives and maintains peace in their hearts.

Hudson Taylor

Joy also flows from a godly perspective that is best seen in a missionary named Hudson Taylor. He dreamed of serving in China and desired to marry a young woman. She refused unless he gave up his dream to be a missionary. That hurt, but he gave her up and trusted God to find him a wife who believed in his dream. He met and married Amelia, who lovingly served beside him.

Hudson hired a servant on a trip to China. The man stole all his possession, but Hudson chose to rejoice and trust God. He wrote about it in a letter, including how he forgave the man. The letter was read by George Muller, a great man who founded many orphanages in England and trusted God for his provisions and ministry. Through the years, George supported Hudson with letters and thousands of dollars. In looking back, Hudson declared that, as always, God knew best and used the financial difficulty to give him something better in a fried and provisions.

The Hardest Losses

Losing someone we love dearly is one of the hardest losses to face. We grieve, and yet we can, in time, realize we have precious memories of the person. Our life is richer because they were a part of it. That is part of the abiding joy God gives us. His comfort as we move through the journey of grief brings a different experience of joy, of knowing God's love more intimately. It's not easy. My children and I treasured all the moments we had with my husband as we shared in our grief, but the hope of eternal life gave me a different joy as we said goodbye. Our family still rejoices in the memories. I feel his love and laughter every day.

My girlfriend grieved long and hard, but when she felt God ask if she would have preferred her son, who she lost, had never lived, she replied, "No." She realized the gift of his life for a decade filled her with such joy and memories that she would never have been the same if he had not been part of her life. She also realized she had never felt God's presence as much as she did in her grief over the tragic and unexpected loss with no time to say goodbye. His smile and joy remain in her heart and memories.

Accepting Terminal Illness

With my husband, we knew he had terminal cancer and prayed for healing but trusted God's will. At one point as he was in remission, and the doctor hoped he was healed. God gave Jim a vision that countered that hope. That's an unusual gift, but this one shared that Jim's time on earth would be ending.

Jesus told him, "It's not your time, but it's coming soon, so prepare everyone." We chose to treasure every day, spend money to be sure our children and grandchild saw him, and for Jim to speak to people about his hope in God. Toward the end, Jim's only desire was to know he had really done all God wanted him to do. At that moment, we received an email from an old friend. Jim had not heard from the person in decades, but he expressed how he felt the need to write then and express how Jim changed his life and that of his family through a simple prayer when he visited us. It showed Jim that, indeed, he lived his life well as he acted on nudges from God, even in little acts of blessing others. He needed no pain medication in his last days, surprising the medical staff. His joy wiped out any pain.

Joy in Spite of Financial Challenges

Financial problems can come suddenly with a job loss or catastrophe. They can be for a season or drag into years of tight budgets or poverty. God promises to supply our needs in Philippians 4:19, stated after sharing on being content with what we have and other positive steps toward contentment. In Philippians, Paul speaks about getting along with others, praying and ceasing from anxiety, and rejoicing always. Then he shares for us to dwell on positive thoughts. He reveals that he learned to be content whether he had plenty or little.

When my husband lost a promised job due to the owner's death, we trusted God. He had part-time jobs for months and a low-paying job for months. I tried to write and make about a dollar a day during that time. But we always managed to pay our bills and have enough to eat. God supplied extras such as healing that decreased medical expenses, needed items on huge sales, and people giving us supplies.

A friend has spent a few decades with money woes, even bankruptcy, and it continues. She is full of joy and sees God providing time and again. She and her husband work to get better income opportunities but also continue to have unexpected bills pop up as soon as they manage to save anything. They have learned to live on God's promises, one day at a time.

Broken Hearts

When someone cuts us off and leaves our lives, we may feel so devastated and believe we are the cause. Or when there's abuse, and we need to end a relationship, that hurts too, and it's hard to admit the person is not going to change. When we work hard in a career, and it goes bust, or we get fired, it can break our hearts, too, as we see our dreams dissolve.

A broken heart is open to healing and needs time to heal. To jump into something else too fast seldom helps. We must first be secure in our relationship with God, be thankful he is in control, and experience real joy. It's also a time we give up one dream and ask God for a new one. He uses those times to redirect our life. It means trusting the future to God and following the Holy Spirit to find new choices. Several single moms I know say the first year was hard and that abiding joy sustained them, but then life turned around, and their new life is better with God's help.

Feeling Depressed or In a Slump?

One friend felt like she was joy immune when she faced emergency surgery that left her depleted. She realized that she could feel self-pity or choose to look to Jesus. She could focus on herself and her circumstances or God and His promises. She chose God. She chose to rejoice over all his gifts of creation, from a lovely sunrise to a beautiful friend who called or dropped in to visit. She read the Bible and rejoiced in God. That brought back her joy. Others have found when they start to sing and praise God, it turns their mind and heart to the Lord and fills them with that inexpressible joy.

Use Your Gifts to Give Joy to Others

Fanny Crosby and Louis Braille both lost their vision as young children in tragic ways. Instead of complaining or feeling sorry, they trusted God and followed him. Fanny gave the world thousands of hymns that still bring joy to people. She looked forward to heaven and knowing the first face she'd see would be her savior. Louis developed the braille system to allow the blind to read. His gift has opened the world of books to blind people worldwide. They also showed us that we are not unable to live a fruitful or joyful life when God shows us how to use the talents he gives us.

God's Redirection that Brings Joy

When we are open to the Holy Spirit, we are open to new directions in life. As a mom with a math degree, I never considered writing. When God nudged me, I prayed about it. At first, I thought it was so opposite to my talents, but then I realized God sometimes uses our weaknesses, so I attended a writer's conference and started following advice. It has been an amazing journey that took me to places around the world and built many new and wonderful relationships. It also allowed me to share many activities, crafts, and ideas that help families thrive more joyfully.

One friend, because of an accident that caused her daughter to be severely disabled, found God changed the direction of her life. Linda Evans Shepherd became an author who writes and speaks about the power of prayer and started a thriving organization for women who write and speak called Advanced Writers and Speakers Association. That group has helped countless women.

Nurture Radiant Joy

Pam Farrel likes to encourage people to develop radiant joy. It starts with journaling. Draw a sun with rays and write the blessings and answers to prayers on the rays. Then focus on many benefits of joy that include less cardiovascular stress, a state of calm, better sleep, lower stress, boosted creativity, lowered blood pressure, and even boosts in the immune system.

Add joy by waking up and thanking God for the day, plus asking Him to guide you and use you to bless someone. At the end of the day, be grateful for your blessings and any opportunities you have to bless others.

Develop a Grateful Heart

Spend time daily thanking God for your blessings. Some days it may be tiny such as a gentle breeze, a bird's son, or a child's smile. Make a list and post it to read when you need a little more joy. Add to it favorite scriptures that lift your spirits and answers to prayers. Let it grow every day, and see how much God has blessed you.

Choose Joy

Be proactive. Choose to rejoice when things go wrong and thank God that He knows why it all happened. Remember that He sees the end from the start of anything and knows how He will use the circumstance for good.

Karen Whiting (www.karenwhiting.com), author of more than thirty books for women, families, children, and the military. Her newest book, Growing a Joyful Heart, co-authored with Pam Farrel, shares stories that show how to have inner joy, more joy in relationships, choose joy in all circumstances, and become a joy-giver.

Karen Whiting is a mom, author, international speaker, writing coach, and former television host who loves sharing ideas to strengthen families. She has written Growing a Mother’s Heart: Devotions of Faith, Hope, and Love from Mothers Past, Present, and Future and 52 Weekly Devotions for Family Prayer, which includes a different way to pray each week plus stories and activities to explore questions children ask about prayer. Her newest book, Growing a Joyful Heart co-authored with Pam Farrel, shares stories that show how to have inner joy, more joy in relationships, choose joy in all circumstances, and become a joy-giver. She loves adventure including camel riding, scuba diving, treetop courses, and white water rafting plus time at home crafting and baking.