How to Be Aware of Spiritual Manipulation

"Spiritual" and "manipulation" are two words that most would not think of putting together, but spiritual manipulation is a very real problem. It is the act of using your spiritual or religious beliefs to gain control or exert power over someone else. You may have witnessed or experienced this without even knowing.

The purpose of this article is to gain a deeper understanding of what spiritual manipulation is by looking at how it rears its ugly head, what the Bible says about it, and why God hates spiritual manipulation.

What Is Spiritual Manipulation?

As stated above, spiritual manipulation is when someone uses their spiritual beliefs to exert power or gain control of something. They want to control what others believe as truth.

When someone is being spiritually manipulative, they often focus on the vulnerabilities of a person or group of people. They may even use the Bible for personal, not kingdom, benefit. Spiritual manipulation can even morph into spiritual abuse.

Spiritual manipulation is not only found in churches. It can be used to create and maintain a cult. It can be used to cover up an abusive relationship. Manipulation is found in the Christian church and the Christian home. It can be found in our relationships with those we work with, spend time with, and attend church with.

We find spiritual manipulation in our world because Satan is in our world, and he is a deceptive being. “For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder! For Satan disguises himself as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:13-14).

This verse helps us realize that there are not only false teachings, but also deceivers who disguise themselves and manipulate others.

How Does Spiritual Manipulation Happen?

Spiritual manipulation can take many forms. It often happens because we have a tendency to get our feelings hurt and become angry when something does not go our way. When this happens, we might try to reach our goals by promoting our own agendas.

One form of spiritual manipulation is guilt tripping. Spiritual manipulators can make you feel your faith is lacking because you did not tithe enough last month or volunteer enough of your time to the church. They may even say you are not a true believer because you missed a church service. Manipulators will make you feel guilty if you question or disagree with their beliefs. The guilt you feel will ultimately make you question your faith or begin to follow a skewed set of rules.

Manipulators can also latch on to your vulnerabilities. They will use your insecurities or fears to gain influence over you. Church members and leaders can also use fear or control tactics to manipulate you. They will often speak of consequences if you do not agree with their views.

Spiritual manipulation can take the form of isolation. During times when we need an extra measure of grace, encouragement, and support, manipulation can often reach its peak. You may be told that you should not reach out to Christians outside your church or community. Manipulators will not want you to possibly see them for who they are. They will limit your access to other doctrines, information, or perspectives to control your thinking and behavior.

Lastly, spiritual manipulation happens when God’s word is twisted to fit human agendas. Specific verses are cherry-picked and often the true meaning of Scripture is distorted. The act of distorting God’s word could lead to legalism, misplaced loyalties, and an increased emphasis on how well you perform in your faith journey.

Why Is Spiritual Manipulation Wrong?

Spiritual manipulation is wrong because it was not and is not in God’s plan for His people. God hates spiritual manipulation.

God intended for His people to have free will. There are no accounts in Jesus’s ministry where he forced someone to follow Him. He extends the gift of salvation but does not manipulate us to take it.

Spiritual manipulation also always includes lying. Exodus 20:15 states that we should not bear false witness. God also tells us in Proverbs 12:22 that “Lying lips are detestable to the Lord, but faithful people are his delight.”  

As Christians, we are to place our loyalty in God. When we are experiencing manipulation, our loyalty is being shifted. It is not being placed in God, rather we are placing our loyalty in people. God is the head of the church and the Lord of our lives. Ephesians 1:22 says clearly “And he subjected everything under his feet and appointed him as head over everything for the church.

Our God does not send fear, shame, and guilt to His children. We are no longer under a veil of shame or guilt.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, because the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1-2).

If we are following the teachings of Christ, we cannot be spiritual manipulators or be manipulated.

How to Protect Yourself from Spiritual Manipulation

Christians around the world are subjected to spiritual manipulation because the devil is always scheming against God. Praise be, there are ways we can be successful combatants in this spiritual war we fight daily.

The most important piece of armor we have is the Bible. We should be diligent in reading it and educating ourselves to what God has laid before us. Along with studying Scripture, we should be a part of a Christian congregation. Attending worship and religious services not only teaches us about God but keeps us encouraged. But beware, test all things with Scripture so religion doesn’t manipulate you.

We should also trust our instincts. God will nudge you though His Holy Spirit when necessary. If something seems wrong, then it probably is.

God made us to need each other and that is why we should seek support when we feel manipulated. Being a part of a group of like-minded, Christ-focused people can give you the guidance and support you need to fight manipulation.

Be open-minded. Do not be afraid to question others, even those in leadership positions.

Do not allow your boundaries to be compromised. Ask that your boundaries and spiritual beliefs are respected.

Protecting ourselves from spiritual manipulation takes work. We have to be diligent warriors of our faith, always praying for strength, guidance, and clarity as we seek truth and God’s will above all else.

Cling to Christ

Spiritual manipulation is when someone uses their spiritual beliefs to gain control or exert power over a person or group. It is not only found in church leadership, but can also be used in the home, workplace, and within small groups of a church.

Guilt tripping, latching on to a person’s vulnerabilities, isolation, and use of fear tactics are all ways spiritual manipulation can happen. God did not intend for this happen and He hates all that is involved in spiritual manipulation.

Our takeaway from this discussion can be found in 1 Peter 5:2. “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them — not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve.”

May God find us all faithful in following Him and leading others to Him, never to ourselves or any dishonest goal.

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Ashley Hooker is a freelance writer passionate about missions. She has collaborated with mission teams in North Carolina, Mississippi, Texas, West Virginia, and Vermont. Presently, she lives in North Carolina with her husband and two children, where she fulfills roles as a pastor's wife, a dance mom, and a farm girl.