Making Sense of Sexuality as a Christian Today
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- Updated Feb 09, 2022
“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). What is marriage? I like one definition given by Matt Walsh: two people partaking in a committed and sacrificial relationship, one that endures forever, until death do you part. This commitment is made in front of family, friends, the state, and most importantly, God.
Any Christian hearing that definition of marriage will likely think, “Duh. That makes sense.” We may even add, marriage occurs between a man and a woman as has been the case for a millennium. But our religious understanding, once a majority in America, has undoubtedly been replaced. What we once considered marriage is now trite, old-fashioned, and obviously traditional.
But we live in a different time, an era where the old must make way for a progressive new. Marriage has taken on a new face and an entirely different meaning. And with that, so has our relationship with sex.
As Christians, sex is irrevocably tied to marriage. Marriage is intended to lead to sex, and sex leads to a deeper bond between spouses, and of course, creates children.
Making sense of sexuality as a Christian today is not so simple. Not anymore. Half the country is single, marriage rates continue to drop, and sex between a man and woman is far from the norm. As Christians how do we respond? Let’s take a look at today’s sexuality and figure out an answer.
Pedophilia
What is it?
The term pedophile describes an adult with sexual attraction towards minors. While the age of consent varies between countries, in America, we consider adults to be at least 18 years old. When an American receives this label, they have experienced, and potentially acted on their attraction toward minors.
Unknown to some, there are currently efforts to destigmatize pedophilia, evidenced by groups like USA Today and the Prostasia Foundation. While most people would obviously denounce such behavior, we have to keep in mind that culture changes. Homosexuality was once considered an obvious taboo and sin, much like abortion. But as time changes, so does culture.
How should Christians respond?
“It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea than for him to cause one of these little ones to stumble.” (Luke 17:2)
As of right now, pedophilia has not been destigmatized. Not yet. We can and should continue to warn our children about the potential dangers of strangers and even people they already know. Any unwanted contact from others should be verbally addressed, but ensure that your child trusts you enough to communicate if something does happen. And report crimes to the proper authorities.
If pedophilia is destigmatized, the law may be less on our side, but seek the help you can to administer justice. In the meantime, do not adopt politically correct language like "adult-child sex" or "minor-attracted people". Softening how we treat this act can lead us closer than we think to supporting, or being passive about the issue.
Polyamory
What is it?
Polyamory is defined as “many loves.” A polyamorous couple is as oxymoronic as an open marriage. This type of relationship consists of two people who openly have relationships with more than just their primary partner, if they have a primary partner. An example would be a man with two girlfriends or a man with both a girlfriend and boyfriend.
How should Christians respond?
“Don’t you know that anyone joined to a prostitute is one body with her? For Scripture says, ‘the two will become one flesh.’” (1 Corinthians 6:16)
When we have sex with people, we bind ourselves to them in ways that are not just physical. There is undoubtedly an emotional attachment that forms, or could form, from subsequent encounters. There are people who can have sex without attachment, but as Christians, lacking empathy is not something we should desire.
Therefore, we should abstain from such relationships ourselves. God does not desire polyamory. His design for marriage is clear – two people, one man, one woman. If we know someone in a polyamorous relationship, we should do our best to give advice when we can, knowing and advocating for the benefits of monogamy. Moreover, we can show them these benefits in our own lives through loving and healthy relationships.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/mofles
Transgenderism
What is it?
Another hot topic today is transgenderism. This idea has origins with John Money, someone known for being a pedophile. While the history behind gender theory is obscure for most, what is clear today is that people fall into this group if they are one sex, but identify as the opposite. Essentially, if a man feels like a woman, he is therefore a woman. Take Bruce Jenner for example, who is now Caitlyn Jenner.
How should Christians respond?
“For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made.” (Psalm 139:13-14)
The response to transgenderism for Christians is debated. Some advocate for calling a man “she” if that makes him feel more comfortable. People in the other camp (where I reside) advocate for being honest with reality and not complying. The drawback is that people will get hurt and may decide not to associate with you. The drawback with the first approach is that you further cement people in their delusions. What is true, is that God made us and how He made us was not a mistake.
Neo-Pronouns
What are they?
Another topic that goes missed by some Christians, especially older folks, is the neo-pronouns. Similar to transgenderism, there are people who don’t want to be called he or she. Some people prefer pronouns like “they,” “them,” and “zem.” Have you ever heard someone tell you to address them as “doll self” or “demon self”?
This may sound humorous at first, but there are real people who live by these identities. These are called neo-pronouns where people call themselves a whole range of ideas, from werewolves to kittens. Some adults even identify themselves as children.
How should Christians respond?
“So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female.” (Genesis 1:27)
How you treat transgenderism should help you determine a response to neo-pronouns. Some Christians alter their communication to fit the needs of the person. However, some people choose not to comply and rather call the person by what they actually are, a man or a woman. The drawbacks are the same as with transgenderism. Whatever you decide to do, be clear that you are okay with explaining to God why you chose to treat the person as you did.
Homosexuality
What is it?
Today, everyone is familiar with this term. Homosexuality describes a romantic or sexual relationship between people of the same sex. Once considered a taboo, today, knowing of and witnessing a gay relationship is normal.
How should Christians respond?
What Christians should not do, as some have, is reason that the Bible was mistranslated. They do this in order to justify supporting homosexuality. Why would those passages be mistranslated and nothing else?
You can be gay and a Christian, just like you can be identified by any other type of habitual sin. However, as Christians we prioritize God over our sin. We rebuke the sin in place of virtue. We should aim to hate the sin, not the sinner. And if we are the sinner, we should strive to be free of our sin, as best we can.
Parents should not abandon their gay children or hate them. Christians should not excommunicate friends who come out as gay. Instead, embrace them, set boundaries if you want to avoid encouraging the behavior, maybe even admonish, but do everything in love.
In Conclusion
Since my time in college, where gay marriage was made legal, and witnessing where America is today, broken relationships, broken families, sexual immorality, and plenty of single people, I think we may need to ask a question again. Maybe several questions.
What is marriage? What is the purpose of marriage? And why does marriage benefit society?
I believe Jesus loves everyone, whether you are a pedophile, a rapist, murderer, an addict, someone who calls themself a werewolf, a terrorist, whatever. The love of our God knows no human bounds (Romans 5:8). His forgiveness is so abundant. However, just because God loves us, doesn't mean we are permitted to do whatever we want. In fact, in His love for us, there are sins He wants us to avoid.
The forms of sexual immorality impacting our society today have not led to anything positive for society. In an era where so much is being tolerated and encouraged, why is America not doing better? Why are our fathers missing from their homes? Why do singles struggle to find meaningful relationships?
Something has to change, and that likely starts with the one thing we lost sight of… marriage.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/turk_stock_photographer
Get in touch with him at aarondanthony.com and check out his debut short story anthology Honey Dreams on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
