Need a Laugh during Quarantine? 10 Hilarious Standup Routines for the Whole Family

1. "Meltdown in Trader Joes" by Gary Gulman

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In these present days of grocery store rushes and toilet paper pillaging, this classic segment by Gary Gulman hits the spot of timeliness and hilarity. It comes from his special, “In This Economy,” where he talks about shopping, work, and consumption as it relates to economics.

If you have ever purchased groceries from Trader Joes, his depiction of the store and its employees will have you in stitches. Gulman’s description of shopper-to-shopper animosity is an entertaining exaggeration of the passive aggression that we all feel, especially these days as this previously routine errand has become the epicenter of fear, judgement and high tensions.

Perhaps after watching, the next time you have to venture out to the grocery store you will find yourself chuckling to yourself as you stand in line and fantasize about throwing a similar tantrum to the one that Gulman describes here.

2. "UPS" by Regan

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This clip by Brian Regan draws an amusing picture of the hoops you jump through in order to mail packages through UPS. Regan is a clever performer with a charmingly crooked smile and unforgettably goofy voice and body language.

His depiction of common human experiences is priceless, and most of his material is clean, aside from the occasional minor curse word. I saw him perform several years ago and by the end of the night my face hurt from all the laughing, and my abs were sore the next day.

His first stand up album was released in 1997, and his ongoing comedy tours were just recently postponed on account of COVID-19. Earlier this month in response to the pandemic, he made the recording of his performance, “All by Myself” available for free to the public, and pledged to donate $10 per download toward an Emergency Relief Fund. 

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes

3. "Homeschooling" by Michael Jr.

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For those who have school-aged kids, quarantine homeschooling has opened up a whole new aspect of family togetherness.

In this bit, Michael Jr. comments on the sentiments that even seasoned homeschool parents share from time to time when attempting to educate their kids at home. It’s something many of us can relate all too well to in our current situation.

Hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan, Jr. performs for a wide range of audiences: late-night shows, churches, prisons, and youth camps all alike are charmed by his clever and honest take on real life and self-deprecation. In addition to having written a children’s book, “The Parts We Play,” Michael also hosts his own podcast, “Off the Cuff,” which airs a new episode every Tuesday, and has a new movie coming out this summer called “Selfie Dad.”

4. "The Absurdity Of The British Empire" by James Acaster

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This lanky young British comedian unites smart observations with hilarious gestures as he goes on a rant about his homeland’s museum artifacts that originally belonged to countries that were conquered.

At just 35 years old, this performer from Kettering, Northamptonshire has built an incredible resume: he has authored two books, hosts two podcasts, and co-hosts a tv series called “Hypothetical.”

His comedic timing and charming accent provide audiences with fun and clean laughs that grow as he builds upon an obscure topic.

In addition to his various media outlets and standup material available on Youtube, Acaster also has a four-episode series called “Repertoire” available on Netflix. 

Photo Credit: Youtube/Michal Jr.

5. "Getting a Camera Shoved Up Your Butt" by Jim Gaffigan

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No collection of clean and funny standup routines would be complete without a contribution from the infamous Jim Gaffigan.

The clip provided above is sure to get your whole family giggling. This genius comedian who originally rose to fame with his bit about “hot pockets” loves to pontificate about food, weight, health, and family life.

Throughout his routines, Gaffigan interjects a strange yet comical falsetto voice that critiques his own performance. Even though he has worked in the comedy industry for thirty years, Gaffigan continues to produce fresh and relatable material that keeps audiences of all ages entertained.

He has authored three hilarious books and released two seasons of a tv show reflective of his real life: “The Jim Gaffigan Show.” 

6. "Nail Salon" by Anjelah Johnson

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Clean and yet equally funny material is hard to come by, especially in the realm of female comedians. It seems in general as though this sect of performers resorts to crassness in an effort to earn the attention that their male cohorts more easily receive.

However, Anjelah Johnson manages to get audiences rolling without incorporating foul language or inappropriate subject matter. In this segment about visiting the nail salon, Johnson gives a hilarious reenactment of her experience going in for a manicure but leaving with multiple add-ons and side comments about her looks and status as a single woman.

If you want to hear more from her, this sharp and beautiful comedian’s hour-long special “Mahalo & Goodnight” is available through Amazon.  

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Lidya Nada

7. "It's Easy to Buy A Tiger" by Nate Bargatze

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Nate Bargatze is a dry and monotone performer with a Tennessee drawl who gets audiences rolling with his relatable and self-deprecating tales of mishap.

For anyone who has jumped on the “Tiger King” bandwagon during your quarantine Netflix binge, this clip will get you chuckling in no time. Bargatze’s career took off relatively recently in 2013 when he joined the Clean Cut Comedy Tour with Jimmy Fallon, and his fame has grown exponentially in that short amount of time.

Bargatze’s amusing and endearing style can be found in his two standup albums, “Full Time Magic,” and “Yelled at by a Clown,” as well as in his Netflix special, “The Tennessee Kid.”

8. "The Difference Between Men and Women’s Noses" by Jeff Foxworthy

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Throughout his 25 years in the business, Jeff Foxworthy has grown his particular flavor of tasteful yet hilarious comedy into a nationally recognized brand.

He is a redneck who pokes fun at the redneck lifestyle and loves creatively bringing to light universal truths about human nature, particularly as it relates to men vs. women. Foxworthy is probably most commonly known for his years spent partnering with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, a group of characters with thick southern accents and unforgettable catchphrases including Bill Engval’s, “Here’s your sign.”

This team of comedians toured together for six years, and you could tell by their interactions with one another that they thoroughly enjoyed each other’s individual talents and perfectly matched styles of humor. Not only has Foxworthy won numerous awards for his standup performances, but he has also authored books and hosted a tv show, “American Bible Challenge.”

You can learn more about him and his upcoming tours at http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/.

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Tim Mossholder

9. "Big Cell Phones" by Preacher Lawson

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Preacher Lawson rose to popularity during his outstanding competition in Season 12 of America’s Got Talent.

In this performance clip from the live show, you witness the mind-blowing energy and physicality that Lawson brings to every performance. In many of his standup routines, Lawson shows his comedic genius by ad-libbing with hecklers and interacting with his audience members. He never misses a beat.

Originally from Portland, Oregon, this fast-paced performer quickly rose to fame in just the last few years, but has been writing jokes since age 16. In his performances, Lawson shares honestly about the difficulties of his past with a father who left him at an early age and a period of life where he was homeless.

However, this resilient and incredibly talented human being has emerged all the more determined to continue his journey toward stardom as he uplifts audiences with hilarity and wit.

10. "Men and Women Texting"  by Tim Hawkins

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Tim Hawkins is a multi-talented Christian performer who has thrived in the comedy industry for nearly twenty years. The short segment above about the differences between him and his wife’s texting patterns will undoubtedly have you guffawing.

Hawkins’ clean and clever output is a myriad of hilarious voice inflections, facial expressions, and mannerisms, and includes creative bits about family life. He also commonly produces parodies of popular hit songs like this one. Hawkins’ relatable commentary on life as a husband and father of four homeschooled children is perfectly relevant for all of us staying home to flatten the curve of COVID-19.

You can also hear more from Hawkins in his interviews and comedic reflections from his podcast, “Poddy Break.”

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/FS-Stock

Julie Davis is a retired ballet dancer-turned-homeschool mom of 3 young daughters. Her passion is for walking alongside fellow believers and reminding them of the grace and power of the Gospel in their lives. She loves to ponder and laugh at the adventures of life and motherhood via her Instagram and blog. Julie and her husband George live in Richmond, Virginia and enjoy hosting friends, getting outside, and sipping on moderately priced bourbon.