The Hard and Holy Work of Healing from Abortion
Most people will tell you that time heals all wounds. But I’ve learned that it isn’t time that heals: it’s God. In 1973 when I was 19, I found myself in a room surrounded by people I didn’t know. They had no interest in knowing me or the reasons that brought me to the clinic. Their sole purpose was to terminate the life growing inside of me.
If only I had known that the life of my baby was already being formed with the purposes and plans that God has for His children, but I didn’t. I couldn’t comprehend that there was a pre-born child developing in my womb. I didn’t know God and His life-saving grace, and I certainly didn’t realize the lasting effects of post-abortion trauma. It took many years before counseling helped me heal the pain and a “come to Jesus” moment that allowed me to understand the real reason for the gaping hole in my heart that no man could fill.
Identity Crisis
Like many women of my generation who didn’t grow up in the church, we sought our identity and self-worth in men. After all, it was the “free love” movement of the sixties and seventies where sex equaled love and love equaled sex, starting with a promiscuous proposal with far-reaching, life-altering consequences that are sometimes never addressed until much later in life, if at all.
The abortion industry thrives in this cultural environment, offering so-called “easy and painless” solutions for unwanted pregnancies, as if a life could be discarded so easily. When I found myself pregnant and unmarried for the second time, my life became undone, and the decisions I made based on fear cost me everything!
The truth of the matter is that God chose me before I was born and my sole (soul) identity lies in Him and Him alone. His love for me isn’t based on what I’ve done in the past… it’s based on the gift of His grace.
In his book Truth on Fire: Gazing at God Until Your Heart Sings, Author Adam Ramsey writes, “Jesus is not disillusioned with you because He never had any illusions about who you were in the first place.”
God’s word speaks to this beautiful promise of our identity in Him and the profound peace that is integral to our healing journey.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14 NIV
Body, Mind, and Spirit
Our mighty Creator got His hands dirty when He breathed life into humanity, carefully crafting us from dust. No detail was spared as we came to life in body, mind, and spirit in the image of God. “Then the Lord formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” Genesis 2:7 NIV
Abortion has a way of manifesting itself in a woman’s mind, stealing her self-esteem, keeping her grounded in guilt and shrouded with shame. Her body often carries symptoms and scars that can last a lifetime, and if she doesn’t have a relationship with Jesus, her spirit will suffer without the promise of a Savior. The lies of the enemy know no boundaries and attack women from all sides.
One of the ways I experienced shame was through the inability to ever have children after abortion. I thought that surely the God I didn’t know was punishing me for killing one of His own. So many women go to their graves, forever sealing their secret shame, not knowing the freedom of forgiveness and the gift of God’s grace. I was determined not to be one of them.
The ache of never having children and the heart-tug of wondering if I would ever see my unborn child again sent me on a quest for truth, seeking Jesus and praying for a miracle. God delivered what felt like a lightning bolt, a five senses kind of experience that took my breath away, finally giving me a glimpse of His grace. The world teaches us that seeing is believing. The Bible teaches just the opposite… believing is truly seeing!
My lightning bolt experience allowed me to be able to taste life, surrounded by Jesus’s unconditional love, held in the arms of the One who holds the world. It seemed I could touch the face of God as my hands stretched towards the heavens He created. I could hear the voice of God as He called me His precious child, revealing His plan for hope and a future without regret for past mistakes. And then, I felt the wind on my face, ushering in the Holy Spirit, a filling of my spirit with the spirit of God. The holy work of healing had begun!
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The Holy Work of Forgiveness
In Hebrew, the word holy means “set apart.” To live “set apart” is to live a life free of condemnation and guilt, as His precious child, reflecting God’s glory. We are called to confess our sins, repent, and move forward. This is where it gets tricky. How do we move forward and live set apart? We know God forgives us, but what about forgiving others? What about, perhaps the most difficult, forgiving ourselves?
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12-14 NIV
God’s gracious forgiveness for our choices is the gold standard to measure how we forgive ourselves and others. Perhaps even those who said it was okay to have an abortion and that there would be no lasting repercussions. While we don’t hold them responsible for our choices, we can forgive them for their damaging words. When we extend grace, it allows us to receive grace and finally forgive the unforgivable.
Anyone who has lost a child because of abortion needs to know there is a grieving process, and that journey looks different for everyone. A holy healing needs to take place to be whole in body, mind, and spirit because God created us to align our thoughts, actions, and words with Him. Even when we don’t do this faithfully, He is faithful to always love us as His child. While we know we are forgiven, we can never forget what we’ve experienced, and that’s okay because it keeps us coming back to God for His mercy and grace.
“The idea that there is nothing in the human experience that God himself has not suffered, even losing a child, is sustaining. And the idea that in His resurrection, Jesus’ scars became His glory is empowering. God will use these scars for His glory as they become our glory. Indeed, the end hasn’t been written.” – Timothy Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering
Just knowing that God Himself had suffered immeasurable loss with the death of His son, Jesus shows us the kind of love that can only be found in Christ. The cross spans the gap between guilt and grace, broken and beautiful, life and death, heaven and earth, bringing us to the holy place of His presence and the sacred ground that breathes new life. Some call it born again. I call it a spiritual rebranding of the soul, the inside work of a transformed heart, and a place called grace where we finally find forgiveness.
Today, I cling to the promise of seeing my unborn child in heaven, where there is no physical place or dimension of time. It will be the first time I see the face of Grace (the name I chose for my unborn daughter) and the face of God at the same time. Through her death, I found Jesus, and through Jesus, I found eternal life, His most intentional and intimate gift.
All life is precious and created in the image of God, a sacred gift that should protected by the foundational right to be born. As our life stories unfold, the Author of life reveals through scripture that humanity is placed above the rest of creation and, therefore, “set apart” for the holy work of defending life.
Without any test we go through, there would be no testimony, and the world needs our stories. Women are desperate for healing from the aftermath of abortion and the devastation in the wake of a woke culture that places little value on pre-born life. In order to save a life, we need to see life. The question is, will you trust God to guide you through the process of the holy healing?
As we enter a new year and the National Sanctity of Life month in January, I’m encouraging you to give yourself the gift of grace. Outrageous, scandalous grace. Is there any other kind?
It’s always about grace… it’s the beginning and end of everything!
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Connect with Robin: robingerblick.com
Originally published January 17, 2025.
