The Truth About “Dying” to Yourself
-
![Plus]()
- Published May 05, 2022
“You must die to yourself.”
I will never forget the first time I heard this phrase. As a new believer, it was pretty intimidating and terrifying, this notion of “dying” to myself. On one end, I was taught to live for God and go after what He’s called me to do. However, on the opposite side of the spectrum, I was being told to not care about what I wanted, only what God desired. For years, this battle of dying to self and doing what God was leading me to do has plagued me. Yet, the more I have studied the Word, it is clear that the Lord desires for us to do both. In fact, when we truly learn what it means to die to ourselves, we cannot help but do ALL that He has called us to do.
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
With this in mind, I want to talk about what it means to truly die to yourself and live a life that is completely focused on Him.
Denying the Flesh
The first aspect of dying to oneself is to recognize what the Word means when it says “self.” In the Bible, the word self means “fleshly, carnal life of nature” that desires the world and to fulfill its own desires. Thus, if we want to live a life that is truly reflective of the Lord, we have to examine our lifestyle and rid ourselves of things that are contrary to God’s Word. The addictions, passions that took us away from God, and behaviors that are displeasing in His sight must be addressed and repented of. In Galatians 5, Paul makes it clear what walking in the fleshly nature looks like:
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[a] you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:16-21
Yes, living a life that follows God wholeheartedly means actively running away from sin. Although the Lord does forgive and knows that we will fall short, this is certainly not an excuse to take this grace for granted. Even more so, living a lifestyle of sin comes with the stern warning that “those who live like this” will not make it to heaven. Denying our flesh isn’t optional but a strong warning for all. First John takes it a step further by saying this:
So if we stay close to him, obedient to him, we won’t be sinning either; but as for those who keep on sinning, they should realize this: They sin because they have never really known him or become his. 1 John 3:4-6.
A true disciple of Christ should find it very uncomfortable to live in sin. Truly, the first step to dying to ourselves is to recognize that what the world sees as normal or acceptable is the opposite of what God would desire. We must make a choice to walk by the Spirit and follow His Word closely so that we may not stumble.
Developing Your Relationship with God
The next aspect of dying to yourself is to be in close communion with the Lord. It is through prayer and seeking Him that we learn the truth about who we are and who He is. So often, Christians leave the development of their faith in the hands of their pastor or only think about God on Sunday morning. Yet, this is not what true fellowship with the Lord looks like. If we consider the disciples during the time of Jesus, they walked with Jesus, talked to Jesus, and called out to Him in their time of need. He was their friend, their comforter, and their shepherd!
In the same way, God is calling us to do the same even now. He wants to commune with us, be a part of our daily lives, and speak to us. Our access to Him is unlimited and He is there in our highest highs and lowest lows. All we need to do is speak with him, read His Word, and seek to know all that we can about Him during our time on earth. I love what James says in James 4:8: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Even more so, as we draw close to Him we will know His voice. We will know His will. We will be convicted when we do something out of His will. Yes, we will even grow to desire to live a life that pleases him. Our relationship with Him will be at the forefront of our hearts causing us to not want to be drawn into anything that could take us away from Him.
I am reminded of one who experiences their first love being so caught up in their feelings for the other person that they wouldn’t want to dare risk tainting the relationship. Their love for their significant other would cause them to want to draw as close as possible, to know all that they could, and to be better each day to strengthen their bond. How much more should our longing be for our Creator and the one who died in our place?! Yes, if we want to die to ourselves we must live for our relationship with Him.
God’s Will, Not My Own
For those who are serious about living a life that is committed to Him, they must recognize that their will must be subservient to His. Here’s the truth, our human nature leads us to want what feels good, looks glamorous, and gives us a sense of esteem. Yet, God’s will is about what will bring Him glory. This means that as we face trials and situations that feel unpleasant, we can trust Him. His will and leading in our life’s story are more important than anything else.
I am reminded of the story of Saul in 1 Samuel 13. Saul was poised and picked to be king, but the Lord had given him an instruction to wait seven days for the prophet Samuel to give come to him in Gilgal where they would offer a sacrifice unto the Lord. Unfortunately, Saul got impatient and on the seventh day decided he would go against God’s plan and do the sacrifice himself. Although he may have meant well, he was disobedient. This disobedience cost him the honor of being accepted as the king he was chosen by Israel to be.
This was the perfect example of allowing our own will and desire to supersede God’s plan. Dying to ourselves requires us to have an attentive ear and follow God’s voice. It requires us to be willing to fast when God says, to stop or start a relationship as God leads, and to walk away from opportunities not ordained by Him. There will be many days that living in this manner will be hard. This is why it’s called “dying” to ourselves. Yes! There are times when it will be hard to walk away from what looks like a good idea to follow God’s divine instruction. However, following God’s will means recognizing that He knows all things. He knows the beginning from the end. He has plans for us to prosper. Thus, if He is calling us to walk away, restart, or not do something, it is for our good. There is victory in this!
He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. John 3:30
Work Hard unto the Lord.
Lastly, if you want to truly die to yourself, you must serve the Lord wholeheartedly. This means in every action that you complete you must do it with His heart in mind. Colossians 3:23-24 says it like this:
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Here's the thing, I believe that God speaks to each of us and gives us all giftings. But when it comes to dying to ourselves, this means that we must take those gifts and submit them to His will. Oftentimes, in some Christian circles, going after one’s dreams and goals can be seen as selfish. However, when we are submitting our dreams to Him, it is clear that we can use every talent for His glory. Our desire to write, sing, or start a business can be a powerful testimony of His goodness. Even more so, we will find that He will give us the strength, stamina, and wisdom to do so in a way that gives Him all the credit.
If we are disobedient to live the dreams He has placed in us, this is the opposite of truly denying ourselves. Instead, we can easily become selfish and untrusting of God when we think of all the reasons we should not follow the plan of God. We must know that doing what God leads us to do will help many others come to know Him (when done with the right intentions). We can use our giftings to promote His kingdom and spread the Gospel!
Dying to ourselves means that we have the willingness to do what God says, how He says, and when He says it. We know that when we do so, there will always be a great reward. May we make a commitment to living for Him and not allowing anything to prevent us from doing so.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/KlausVedfelt
