The Truth about Toxic Empathy and Why It’s Becoming a Controversial Topic
The past several weeks have been filled with multiple examples of what is considered "toxic empathy," and we, as Christians, are to see it as a distortion of true empathy and Biblical Truth.
Empathy Defined
But before we consider these cases, we must ask the question: what is empathy? According to Merriam Webster, the term empathy is defined as "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another."
In other words, empathy is about understanding how another person is feeling. How many times have you spoken to a friend who is struggling, and the moment they share what's wrong, you say, "I've been there." Thus, having empathy allows for interpersonal relatability, which in turn, results in establishing stronger connections in all relationships.
We see plenty of scriptural support for empathy, whether it's the apostle Paul telling the church to "rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:35) or the apostle Peter's exhortation to believers to "have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind" (1 Peter 3:8).
The Lord Jesus Christ, our prime example, is described in the book of Hebrews as our great high priest who empathizes with all our weaknesses because He in "every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 7:15). Therefore, we see that empathy can be a good thing when looked at biblically.
Toxic Empathy Defined
On the other hand, toxic empathy is described as what happens when people compromise moral values and critical thinking in order to empathize with others, particularly in political matters. Such cases like this have gone viral on social media in the past two weeks, particularly against the policies of President Donald Trump, who took office for the second time.
Recent Cases of Toxic Empathy
During the National Prayer Service at Washington National Cathedral on Jan. 21, 2025, the Rev. Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde told the president, who was seated alongside his wife, family, and Vice President JD Vance and his wife, to have empathy for individuals in the LGBTQ+ community and for illegal immigrants.
"Let me make one final plea, Mr. President. Millions have put their trust in you. … In the name of our God, I ask you to have mercy upon the people in our country who are scared now," Budde said during a sermon on unity. "There are gay, lesbian, and transgender children in Democratic, Republican, and independent families, some who fear for their lives.
"The people who pick our crops and clean our office buildings, who labor in poultry farms and meat-packing plants, who wash the dishes after we eat in restaurants and work the night shifts in hospitals. They may not be citizens or have the proper documentation, but the vast majority of immigrants are not criminals."
Budde then urged Trump "to have mercy" on those "in our communities whose children fear that their parents will be taken away and that you help those who are fleeing warzones and persecution in their own lands to find compassion and welcome here."
In related news this week, singer and actress Selena Gomez went viral after she posted a now-deleted video of herself on Instagram crying because of the mass deportations taking place by the Trump administration.
"All my people are getting attacked, the children. I don't understand," she said. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something, but I can't. I don't know what to do. I'll try everything, I promise."
Gomez later shared a post on her Instagram story after her video received backlash, stating, "Apparently, it's not ok to show empathy for people."
Addressing Toxic Empathy
Criticisms against Budde and Gomez both accused them of having a double standard because they didn't say anything concerning the drug cartels, gangs, and the sex trafficking of women and children that have taken place due to the Biden administration's open-border policy.
That's the problem with toxic empathy, where people want others to show empathy despite ignoring the full picture and supporting causes that do more harm than good.
Alle Beth Stuckey, who hosts the BlazeTV podcast Relatable, which covers culture and politics from a Christian perspective, recently released her book Toxic Empathy: How the Left Exploits Christian Compassion, how toxic empathy can deceive Christians to affirm initiatives that contradict the Bible, including abortion, gender, sexuality, immigration and social justice.
"Slogans like 'love is love' or 'abortion is healthcare' are circular and often lack defined terms," she told The Christian Post. "They're meant to tug on heartstrings and evoke an emotional response, not to engage critical thinking."
She also shared how empathy is merely an emotion that can be easily manipulated.
"Empathy really is not a biblical command. Empathy means to feel how someone else feels. That can be good, or it can be bad. It's not virtuous in itself," she said. "Empathy can motivate us toward love. It can also blind us to reality or morality."
Biblical Truth > Toxic empathy
Ultimately, Stuckey says that love grounded in biblical Truth is better than toxic empathy.
"Love, as we read in Scripture, by the God who created it, is inextricably intertwined with Truth. And so this truth-in-love approach is much better, more substantive, more profound and much more biblical than this superficial, toxic empathy, which emotionally manipulates people into only focusing on one particular victim and affirming whatever that person wants."
Amy Main, a Christian content creator, also addressed toxic empathy in an Instagram reel this week, encouraging her Christians to base their actions on Scripture, not emotions.
"I know that everybody is using 'love your neighbor' as a way to justify their political opinion right now but hear me out. Christians, your emotions don't inform how you love your neighbor. Scripture does," Maim said. "And Scripture tells us that we serve a God of law, of order, and of justice because he loves us. He disciplines those he loves. He puts the law into place to protect those he loves. It's actually very good. It provides justice and mercy, and it can be really uncomfortable because it goes against our own fleshly reaction."
She added, "But if you're telling somebody else that's a Christian, 'you're not being very loving.' And instead of allowing Scripture to inform you on why they aren't, you use your opinion. You should be silent."
I couldn't agree more. Although we may feel empathy to others, we rightly address it through God's love and speaking the Truth in love. Even if others may hate us for speaking the Truth in love, at the end of the day, we know that's what's best for them, and we pray that God would open their eyes to the Truth in the midst of a sinful world that does right in its own eyes. Therefore, the Word of God should direct how we feel and address the cultural and political issues at hand.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes
Originally published January 31, 2025.
