3 Things That Make You a Glutton for Punishment
- Whitney Hopler Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
- Updated Aug 26, 2022
Are you struggling with too much stress, yet still have trouble saying “no” to requests for your time and energy? Do you feel like, no matter how hard you work or how much you give in a relationship, you’re not respected or appreciated? If so, you may be a “glutton for punishment”. Here’s what it means to be a glutton for punishment, what the Bible says about gluttony, and how to change the choices you make to enjoy greater well-being.
What Does it Mean to Be a Glutton for Punishment?
Being a glutton for punishment means giving more effort to something than is wise, causing unnecessary stress in your life. This dynamic often shows up relating to work. You can be a glutton for punishment by eagerly taking on unpleasant tasks or an unreasonable amount of work – either in your job, at home, or in volunteer roles such as at church. Sometimes, the dynamic manifests in relationships. If you enthusiastically keep giving to someone who takes advantage of you and doesn’t give you what you need in return, you’re a glutton for punishment in that relationship. A desire to please others often drives these types of behaviors. The behaviors themselves are usually good because they involve helping others. But the problem is the gluttony involved – the excessive efforts that lead to unhealthy outcomes. If you’re a glutton for punishment, you don’t say “no” when you should, because you lack the self-control to do so.
The remedy for being a glutton for punishment is pursuing self-control. The Holy Spirit will help you develop self-control, which is listed in Galatians 5:22-23 as one of the “fruit of the Spirit.” Galatians 5:13 and 16 urges: “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh … walk by the Spirit.” While the concept of self-control can seem restrictive at first, choosing to pursue self-control can actually benefit you in many ways. Research I describe in my book Wake Up to Wonder shows that people who practice self-control experience greater abilities than people who don’t to experience awe, enjoy healthy relationships, and learn well. I also explain research that shows how prayer is the key to developing self-control because it helps people change how they think. When you pray, the Holy Spirit renews your mind, helping you exercise self-control.
So, while a serious lack of self-control can lead you to become a glutton for punishment, you can change with God’s help.
What Does the Bible Say about Gluttony?
The English word gluttony comes from the Latin word gluttus, which means “greedy”. Essentially, gluttony involves being greedy rather than self-controlled. While the Bible only specifically mentions gluttony in a few verses, it often speaks about the sin of making excessive choices rather than living with self-control.
The Bible often discusses gluttony in the context of indulging in excess food or drink. For example, Proverbs 23:20-21 says: “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.” Other verses in that same chapter, Proverbs 23:1-3, advise: “When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive.” Jesus was falsely accused of gluttony by religious leaders who judged him for attending dinners with people they didn’t like. The Bible records Jesus discussing that in both Matthew 11 and Luke 7. In Matthew 11:19, Jesus says: “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.”
In other places, the Bible describes the concept of gluttony associated with other types of out-of-control appetites that lead to sin. Galatians 5:19-21 points out: “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
It’s clear that gluttony is sinful when it applies to obviously bad choices, such as getting drunk on too much wine or flying into a rage due to an out-of-control temper. But being a glutton for punishment often involves choosing behaviors that seem good (helping others in some way). What’s sinful about that is the excess – the lack of self-control. Proverbs 25:28 warns: “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” A lack of self-control leads to greed, which is a selfish desire for something. You can be greedy even for things that are typically considered good, such as doing excessive work in order to impress others, or giving in to a romantic partner’s whims in order to try to keep his or her attention. Jesus urges you in Luke 12:15 to “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed…”.
In Luke 10:38-42, the Bible tells a story about Jesus visiting a home where two sisters welcomed him, but one of them acted as a glutton for punishment: “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Martha’s choice to do excessive work – so much work that it distracted her from listening to Jesus – made her a glutton for punishment. Jesus says that Mary made the better choice because she didn’t worry about trying to impress him at the expense of her own well-being; instead, Mary wisely decided to do what was truly best for her.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes
3 Things That Make You a Glutton for Punishment
These three choices set you up to be a glutton for punishment, and how you can overcome each of them by pursuing self-control with God’s help:
1. Agreeing to do work just because you want to please other people: When you’re deciding whether or not to take on a work task of any kind, check your motives for considering it. Are you simply wanting to please other people, or do you feel a sense of purpose about contributing to the work? Don’t take on work just because others want you to help. If the work isn’t meaningful for you in some way, it’s not a good use of your time, energy, and talents.
2. Taking on more work than you truly are able to handle well: Overloading your schedule diminishes your ability to handle work well, and brings unnecessary stress into your life. Even if the work you’re doing is meaningful, if it’s too much, don’t hesitate to lighten your workload. Keep in mind that, while others may be disappointed if you’re less productive, what matters most is pleasing God rather than others. God never calls you to burn yourself out; instead, God calls you to balance work with rest in order to be healthy.
3. Neglecting to set healthy boundaries in relationships: Are you giving much more to a relationship than the other person is, because you crave that person’s attention? Are you afraid that if you stop giving too much, the other person will lose interest in the relationship? Letting someone mistreat you is never God’s will for you. God wants you to be treated with respect and love, but in order for that to happen, you must set healthy boundaries in your relationships. Refuse to give more effort to a relationship that isn’t truly reciprocal. Talk with the other person to share your needs in the relationship and figure out a healthier way forward. If the other person won’t change, let that relationship go, because it’s not truly reciprocal. Center your life around your most important relationship – with God, who loves you reliably – and derive your confidence from that, rather than from unreliable relationships with people.
Conclusion
If you’re a glutton for punishment in your work or relationships, you can change with God’s help. 2 Peter 1:5-8 encourages you to “… make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” The Holy Spirit will help you develop those qualities. It’s particularly important to develop self-control to stop yourself from being a glutton for punishment. As your habits grow healthier, you’ll be more effective and productive, while also enjoying the well-being God wants you to enjoy.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages_Oksana_Bondar
