3 Ways to Deal with Rejection in Our Lives

I have a memory that pops up once in a while. I was in second grade, playing outside with my two best friends. We stood in a circle, and we decided we would each point to our best friend. Lauren pointed at Becca, and Becca pointed at Lauren. I can't remember who I pointed to, but I remember no one pointed at me. It was so long ago, so simple, and yet so hurtful.

Rejection, in almost any form, does just that — it hurts. Rejection triggers the brain to experience physical pain. According to a National Library of Medicine study, the brain systems that underlie rejection co-opt brain circuits that effectively communicate physical pain. Researchers say, “These results give new meaning to the idea that social rejection 'hurts.’”

And yet, we know that rejection is an inevitable part of everyone’s life — even Jesus’. Isaiah 53:3 says, “He was disparaged and rejected by humankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces, he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.”

So, what do we do with the pain of rejection?

Rejected From Opportunities: The Stone Rejected from the Original Project

Not being accepted on a sports team, to your college of choice, or to that job you had your eye on —all that rejection hurts.

Jesus never said this life would not hurt, but He can use that hurt for good. His suffering on the cross was for our good. And the trials we go through can have a good purpose, even when they feel less-than-good.

Pain can build strength and endurance, harsh experiences can be used to support another going through a trial, and hardships can change our perspective and help us realize what is truly important in life. Maybe rejection from one opportunity will lead you down a path that you never even thought of—one that God knows will be best for you. 

That doesn’t make rejection fun, but it does make rejection valuable.

If God does not open doors of opportunity, He has something else for you. Trust in Him and his perfect plan for your life. In time, you will reap a harvest if you do not give up. Galatians 6:9 tells us exactly, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

God is not done yet; let Him finish your story beyond the rejection.

Rejected by Loved Ones: The Builder Rejected the Stone

Experiencing the end of a relationship or rejection from a loved one hurts.

Jesus experienced this, too. His town did not accept Him, and his followers denied him. “He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.” (John 1:11)

He even had to be separated from the Father to carry our sin on the cross, something we are reminded of every Easter as we read the account of the crucifixion in Mark, chapter 15, with Jesus crying out, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)

This had to be done for our forgiveness of sins, but Jesus had to endure the pain of it. Through it all, he focused on the Father and his purpose in this life.

Rejection from people can be even more painful than rejection from opportunities. But God knows how you feel because he felt it, too. Cling to him and seek his face. He can bring comfort and peace in times of great pain.

For example, it’s comforting to be reminded of God’s unconditional acceptance in the face of relational rejection. Romans 8:39 says, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

We can rest in Christ, knowing that God will never reject us.

 Rejection for Good: The Stone Became the Cornerstone

Several times, I have explained someone else's behavior to my kids by saying, “Hurt people hurt people.”  Although this may be an accurate observation, it doesn’t have to be an accepted formula for life. Jesus shows us another way. He shows us that the hurt of our rejection can be used for good.

How did Jesus act when he experienced rejection? He did not run away and quit or build up walls to block others out. And he did not hurt others because he was hurt. He responded with love. He continued to do what he did before. He shared the love of the Father and the hope of salvation for all humankind. It did not distract Him from what He was called to do.

Man may reject you, but God never will. He will never leave you and will guide you when you seek him. If you need comfort, his arms are open. If you need wisdom, pray for it. A relationship with Jesus is the most significant relationship you will ever have.

By ministering to others in similar pain, look for ways that God might call you to use your hurt for good. If a parent left early in your life, how can you help fill the void for another? If a relationship was recently severed, how can you offer support? Healing can happen when we constructively redirect the hurt. As God heals your heart, ask him if there are relationships he would like you to nurture.

Rejection from others does not define us. We are loved and made perfect by God. The Bible describes Jesus as the stone the builders rejected, eventually becoming the cornerstone. (Psalm 118:22) Similarly, we can trust that God has a plan and purpose for us, too — experiencing rejection may just be how we get there.

 Photo Credit:  ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/iprogressman

Debbie Ryan is a Public Relations Specialist with Christian Care Ministry/Medi-Share. She is passionate about her kids, following Jesus, health, and wellness. 

Originally published April 10, 2025.