6 Ways to Find Hope in the World of Modern Dating

Aaron D'Anthony Brown Contributing Author
Updated Sep 24, 2024

Marriage is a gift. A gift from God. A gift from one spouse to another. Marriage is a way for us to reflect God’s love for His children. Sadly, though, some of us don’t quite believe such a gift will ever find us. We don’t believe it despite what Scripture says about the greatest gift-giver of all time.

“Who among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him.” (Matthew 7:9-11, CSB)

“Dating isn’t what it used to be.” That’s a common sentiment among those already married or older in age. They’re happy to be out of the dating market, away from all the ghosting, the catfishing, and the general messiness of it all. If you’re like me, however, hoping to one day marry, their sentiments don’t exactly inspire hope. If anything, those words can easily leave us with a nagging sense of hopelessness. We’ll either want to settle for anything, figuring that’s better than nothing, or accept nothing and see our lives as meaningless.

But what if there was a better way to be? What if there was a better way to think about dating today?

Finding hope in the world of modern dating is possible, but finding that hope will require you to focus on more than just what you see around you. Yes, you’ve been disappointed before. Yes, you’ve had your heart broken. Maybe you’ve never been in a relationship at all. Whatever the situation, you’re not alone. Someone somewhere has had the same struggle or something similar. I certainly have, and with that experience, I can confidently say that there is still reason for hope because there is still a God worth putting your hope in.

The actual reason we grow dismayed with dating is because we put our hope in people. Let’s be honest. They don’t always give us great reasons to hope. If we instead turn to God, not only will we find reasons, but we’ll understand why we can trust Him to give good gifts. Once you take your perspective off of people and put it on God, there are some steps you can take today and every day moving forward.

Here are 6 ways to find hope in the world of modern dating

1. Recognize Your Daily Bread

Did you know that God gives us our daily bread? In the Lord’s Prayer, the idea of daily bread conveys provision from the Lord. He meets our needs on the regular, including food, shelter, and relationships. No one lives on an island by themselves, not healthily, which is why God blesses us with family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. Now, while marriage is not a need, if we understand that God takes care of the things we must have to survive, certainly, we can look at our lives and see that he has taken care of our wants, too. He’s blessed us with certain relationships, hobbies, and luxuries that we never needed, but He still gave. So, why do we see marriage as being so unattainable?

2. Know That He Knows Your Desires

If we understand that God provides, then we ought to reaffirm for ourselves that this means God knows us. Intimately. He knows what we need or want, and what we don’t, and even when to give it. Likewise, Scripture makes clear that He knows the desires of our hearts, and He knows the plans that He has set for each of us.

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/kieferpix

3. Grow

You’ve probably been told this before, but maybe you need to hear it again. We all do from time to time. Become the type of person you would want to marry. Gain knowledge and wisdom. Become a better communicator. Figure out your values and interests. Too many people get into marriage for the wrong reasons with the wrong people, and many of them have not yet themselves become the right person.

4. Pray

We don’t pray to convince God of anything, though we act like that sometimes. Rather, we make prayers of petition, asking God to do something on our behalf. What we come to realize is that the more we pray, suddenly, the more we find ourselves growing. And the more we grow, the more we become like Christ. With a Christ-like mindset, we find contentment in God and hope for a brighter future. Not only that, but we become the sort of people we hope to marry, increasing our chances of finding a good mate.

5. Try New Things

Trying new things helps with meeting new people. You might already be a great person who’s ready for marriage but just haven’t found the right match. Increase your chances of finding a potential spouse by going out and meeting people. Switch things up every now and then by trying something outside of your norm. One great example would be talking to strangers and trying to build a rapport.

6. Keep Trying & Keep Praying

Sometimes, the first plan doesn’t work. Sometimes, the second and third options don’t either. When what you hope for doesn’t pan out, sometimes you have to try something new. The key is to keep trying. By keeping our perspective on God, and continuing to develop ourselves, we’ll ensure that when new leads to a potential marriage for us, we’ll be ready.

Conclusion

Dating today is hard. There’s no denying that. As a single guy, I certainly have not cracked any sort of code, nor do I have every answer you may want. However, remember that there is plenty to learn from those dating especially those already married. Learn from their strengths and faults. Know, too, that what the future will bring is uncertain, but if we can continue to pray and continue to act towards this desire we hold, we know that certainly something will happen. At the very least, we get to grow closer to God, and that’s worth every bit of effort.

Aaron D'Anthony Brown is a freelance writer, hip-hop dance teacher, and visual artist, living in Virginia. He currently contributes to Salem Web Network’s Crosswalk platform and supports various clients through the freelancing website Upwork. He's an outside-the-box thinker with a penchant for challenging the status quo.