Why Accountability Is Essential to Every Christian Life
- Michelle S. Lazurek Author
- Updated Aug 03, 2023
Accountability is one of the most important and difficult things to maintain in the Christian life. It is difficult for people to find someone whom they can trust with which they can share their most intimate sins and details of their lives without fear their privacy won't be violated. An accountability partner can help people become the healthiest versions of themselves spiritually. Yet, accountability seems to be an aspect of the spiritual life that often goes unattended or ignored altogether. Accountability often results in two people confessing their sins to one another, praying for one another, and supporting each other. However, accountability doesn't always allow someone to see the error of their sin. When we can see the weight of our sin (and the impact that sin has on others), that is when true change occurs. Simply asking someone to pray for them or saying they "messed up again" doesn't help them in their spiritual lives. Instead, it often gives them an invisible "grace-free" card to sin, knowing they have someone to let them off the hook. Yet, accountability does little to impact fundamental transformation. Here are some reasons why that accountability model does not work:
First, it doesn't allow sin to impact the people it affects directly. When getting an accountability partner, it's easy for people to choose someone with common interests. They may even choose people who have the same sins as them. For example, two people who want to eat healthier and struggle with the sin of gluttony may choose each other because they are afraid of getting judged or having someone criticize them for being overweight. Yet, that doesn't really help anyone when it comes to transformation and change.
Second, accountability never gets to the root of the real problem. Sometimes Christianity is relegated only to sin management, where people behave in the right way or sin and therefore behave badly out of shame. This becomes more of a childlike version of Christianity. This is far from the grace-based version of Christianity that Christ died for. People still need to take responsibility for their sinful behaviors. Every Christian needs to figure out the root of their problem. For example, if we're talking about gluttony, the person struggling needs to ask themselves, "Why do I eat?" "Do I eat to feed an emotional need in my life?" "Do I eat because it's a routine in my life?" "Do I eat for energy and to keep my body healthy?" "Do I use food in appropriate ways?"
Third, they must ask themselves, "What do I eat?" For example, a person eating a diet high in refined carbs and sugars will find themselves tired and insulin resistant, often leading to health concerns such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and stroke. This is not helpful when the Lord chooses to use them for his purposes. Just as we need to be good stewards of everything in our lives, so it is with our bodies. An accountability partner can be great, but they must also have unlocked the key to healthy weight loss, weight management, nutrition, hydration, and exercise.
Fourth, they must ask themselves, "Am I willing to change?" No matter the sin, if the person is not ready to change the behavior, it will likely not help them. If a person is not ready to change their behavior because they have not gotten to the root of the problem, accountability will not be effective. The person must not only be willing to change their behavior but also be willing to get to the root of the issue. Emotional and mental health must occur for people to be completely healthy when it comes to the Christian life.
Fifth, accountability like this doesn't work because it is easy for someone to say he's managing sin, but confession without repentance is ineffective. Christ died for true repentance of behavior, not simply to say someone has changed often to find they have not. Here are some ways new accountability methods might be more effective:
First, find someone wise and revered by people in their church. Find someone different in age, class, and background. For example, a person who is not struggling with the sin of gluttony might be a perfect counterpart to someone who is struggling. This way, because they have no compassion for the issue because it is not something they struggle with, it will be easier for them to deal with them in a way that balances grace and truth.
Second, seek accountability with those who are truly impacted by the sin. This is especially true for sexual sin. Sexual immorality is not just against us because it affects not only us but our marriages, our children, and our local church. A person who is stuck in sexual sin, for example, needs to allow their spouse to be accountable for their actions. When the spouse first hears of the issue, emotional pain might result. While this is not pleasant for the person committing the sin, they need to see the weight of their sin on the people that the sin directly impacts. Simply telling a friend they're struggling with this will not help their marriage. However, telling their husband or wife the next time they mess up might be the impetus to overcome the sinful pattern of behavior. This will help someone not take the easy road and feel like he can mess up with no consequences. Feeling like they may lose their marriage or their children because of their actions will help with the same behavior change.
Third, maintain the relationship after this one has been overcome. It's easy to keep an accountability partner only until a small pattern of healthier behavior develops. For example, it's easy for someone to overcome sin only to stop being held accountable by their partner because they've not struggled with a particular sin for a month or two. It takes several months for a habit to develop. If it's a simple pattern that has been developed since an early age, it will be particularly difficult to break. Therefore, they may be fine for a few months (maybe even a year), but then they may slip up again. An accountability partner who has been working with them for several years will help change the behavior, transform the heart, and renew the mind. Behind every sin is a wrong mindset or heart issue that has not been changed with grace-like behavior. An accountability partner is not only someone who can simply say, "I'll pray for them," but rather meet with them, go through the Scriptures, renew their mind, and transform their heart. This will help accountability become a pattern that lasts a lifetime.
Accountability is difficult, especially when struggling with a serious sin. But accountability is worth it in the end because it helps not only the person confessing sin to be a person who regularly confesses his sin but also allows other people to speak wise words and counsel so not only will they appear righteous by their behavior but will be righteous in their heart and mind as well.
