Why Is it So Hard for Us to "Tame Our Tongues"?

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Mario Tama/Staff

By now, you likely know what this phrase means. Despite what its defenders may tell you, it’s not harmless, political commentary. In fact, for the Christian, it goes against everything we stand for. And, it’s a sin, plain and simple.

“The tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water” (James 3: 5-12).

“Taming our tongues” is especially difficult for us in this current age and climate. But, with these “Let’s Go, Brandon” chants, the bar is pretty low – it’s not about keeping your thoughts to yourself; it’s about not cursing someone created in the likeness of God just like us. As the passage in James reminds us, we shouldn’t sing hymns on Sunday morning and hurl curse words at others on Monday. James goes a step further and suggests it’s not possible to do both. You are either one way or the other.

Our tongues – or in the 21st century, our thumbs – can be a problem area for each of us. After all, we know that “No human being can tame the tongue” (James 3:8). But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying. Our walk with Christ mandates that we do. “For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries” (Hebrews 10: 26-27).

We all should examine our own spiritual lives. If we continue to live in sin, perhaps true repentance hasn’t taken place at all. The good news is that God stands ready to forgive you and welcome you with open arms. If hatred in our hearts causes us to use our tongues to spread evil and poison, we need to ask for God’s forgiveness. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

For those of us who have a relationship with Christ, why do we still find it so hard to tame our tongues? How can Christians curse a neighbor? How can “Let’s Go, Brandon” chants break out in churches? It really all comes down to one simple fact that has been present since the Garden: we are selfish. Our sin of selfishness expresses itself in many ways today, all of which are in stark contrast to Scripture.

Our “me-first” philosophy causes us to use our tongues to set relationships ablaze. We care most about our own views, and we have little regard for the opinions of others. Instead of putting others first, we’d rather make sure you know good and well where we stand. Instead of speaking truth in love, we’d rather hammer a message home forcefully. Rather than our speech being seasoned with salt, we’d rather be as salty as we can – because that’s much faster and easier.

We disguise sinful speech as “courage” or simply “being bold” and “standing up for your beliefs.” However, Scripture never condones Christ-followers using hateful rhetoric to achieve our pursuits – even if we feel they are righteous. Somehow, many have lost sight of God’s purpose for His followers. It’s not to prove others wrong or to achieve worldly significance. We exist for God’s glory and to make Him known to others around us. We are here for God’s kingdom, not to build our own.

Our “me-first” philosophy causes us to pursue other objectives and stomp on anyone in the process who impedes upon them. While we don’t set up golden calves today, many of us have erected idols in our lives that blind us to our sin. Idols are anything that takes the preeminent position that belongs to Jesus. It doesn’t take much to see how many people have made idols of things like political parties or politicians and America itself. From Old Testament to New, God is clear about this. “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37-40).

When our idols are challenged, our only reaction is to lash out verbally. We attack our “enemies” on social media or disparage them among friends. We have created teams. It’s us versus them. It’s our way (the right way) or their way (the wrong way). Instead, we should see all people as made in God’s image, worthy of our love and respect. Jesus died for that person we perceive as our enemy, just as much as He died for us.

Our “me-first” philosophy causes us to neglect the Bible, leaving us spiritually immature and biblically illiterate. The Bible is the best-selling book in the world. All of us have a copy in our homes or on our phones. Despite its availability, trends show that the majority of Americans never read the Bible. More than 65 percent of Americans claim to be Christians; only 11 percent of Americans read the Bible daily. A central practice to spiritual development – reading God’s Word – simply isn’t important to many people who call themselves Christians. Jesus said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” (Luke 11:28). We can’t be “doers of the World” (James 1:22) if we don’t know what the Word says.

But why don’t we read and know God’s Word? Put simply, it’s just not that important to many of us. We have other things that take priority in our lives. Our jobs, our families, our goals, our social activities – all of these occupy our time, leaving few minutes in our day for reading Scripture. Our own selfish pursuits become our focus, not learning and doing God’s will. It’s hard to honor God with our speech when we don’t even realize how we are dishonoring Him. “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

Photo credit: ©SWN

Brent Rinehart is a public relations practitioner and freelance writer. He blogs about the amazing things parenting teaches us about life, work, faith and more at www.apparentstuff.com. You can also follow him on Twitter at @brentrinehart