How to Win Over Your Obsession of Being Perfect

It was the memorial service of the wife of a retired pastor. The deceased's sister was on the mic, sharing a story about when she came to help care for her sister. She was in bed one evening when she heard a loud noise coming from the bathroom. Her mind instantly went to her then-very sick sister possibly falling, so she immediately ran to the bathroom. And there was her sister, standing and looking in the shower. "What happened?" she asked while eyeing the broken bathroom scale in the shower stall. "It was not working right, so I threw it," her sick sister replied.   Apparently, the patient decided to weigh herself and did not like what the scales read! We all had a good laugh. Even in sickness, a woman is still worried about her weight!  

Is there anyone who has not worried about her looks or her shape? I have been moisturizing every inch of my body, on my mom's advice, since I celebrated my 40^th birthday. And I still have dry skin to this day! My legs and heels get so dry if I forget to apply lotion for one day that my husband likes to say, "Let's soften your lizard skin!" Maybe if I lay in a pool of moisturizer all day, every day, or take a daily dip in the Dead Sea, I can enjoy soft, silky, smooth skin.   It sounds so much like an ad!  

Then, I try to take an item off my diet and replace it with something else to see if I can lose some unwanted weight. Move my feet and hips to some music to sweat and reduce the love handles. And you know what? My pear-shaped body is still the same, accurately described as "pleasantly plump" by a friend's mom. Sounds like I am one of those nosy, old ladies wearing mumu dresses. No offense meant! Or maybe I am just ripe for the picking! LOL! Jonathan Evans said, "[people] walk around life with a mirror in front of their face. They question their looks, persona, and acceptance nonstop." [1]  How sad we have all become! We like to document our lives for public consumption like reality TV stars.   We measure people's approval and our ratings by the number of likes we receive in our postings. This nonsense we all are on feeds our narcissistic selves as we think of creatively marketing ourselves to increase our following.   As if we are a brand! We are all guilty! Just check out your Facebook page and other social media platform you are on, and you will know what I am talking about.

I want you to take a good, hard look at yourself. But instead of feeling dissatisfied with what's looking back at you in the mirror, lovingly accept how God created you. Do you have curly hair? Embrace it and rock it! Do you have wrinkles? Then stop frowning and smile more! Let's all decide to laugh at our unrealistic ideas of beauty based on celebrities and models we put on pedestals. Maybe we can discover that our "idols" are just like you and me, also stressing about maintaining their looks, but because they have to remain marketable and relevant. We don't have that kind of stress. And as my friend Gee said, "Be reminded that your natural state is already beautiful. If you need to change something about yourself to fit in a certain group of people, then you're in the wrong circle." We forget that even our friends influence us on how to look a certain way for us to belong.

Let's also go beyond the superficiality of the world. You can go to the newsstands and buy the women's magazines that offer you all sorts of tips, how-to's, and products to help you enhance your beauty. Bottles, tubes, and jars do not bind many things in life. Of course, countless beauty tutorial videos can walk you through whatever it is you want to highlight, as well as an array of other informative and engaging content on the latest hairstyle, beauty products, hacks, etc. Throw in the OOTD (Outfit of the Day) video series available for style inspirations so you can claim to be the "chicest" woman in town. You can get lost in the myriad of subscriptions and influencers you follow!

But if you have the money, go ahead and hire your own team of professionals. A personal trainer to whip you into shape. A personal chef to plan and prepare your special meals to get you to your happy weight. A personal stylist to put together your outfits for any occasion, worthy of a front-page headline. A glam team for your hair and makeup regimen. Well…that is if all you care about are the physical aspects of your life. Let me remind you that you can't fight with age, and the downhill slide is inevitable and will come one day. You cannot do much nip and tuck without people noticing how unnatural you are starting to look. There is an end to our glory days of youth…to our physical life. You see, the only way to get you to love yourself without fear and anxiety of how you look, no matter what your physical shape is, your age, or your ethnicity, is to go back to the original plan of the Master Designer, the One you belong to. "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago" (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).  

God already has a wonderful plan to help you overcome your struggles with your body and beauty. It's a simple matter of your acceptance of who He says you are to Him! Gleaning from the Bible, God, and His Word will help shape your identity in Jesus Christ!   Slowly but surely, if you hold on to His truth and promises, you can win over your obsession with becoming perfect as the world defines it.  

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/William_Potter

Luisa Collopy is an author, speaker and a women’s Bible study teacher. She also produces Mula sa Puso (From the Heart) in Tagalog (her heart language), released on FEBC Philippines stations. Luisa loves spending time with her family over meals and karaoke!