What Does it Mean to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman?

Candice Lucey Contributing Writer
Updated Dec 11, 2024

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What is a Proverbs 31 woman, and is it possible for women to be one today? The 31st chapter of Proverbs paints the picture of an ideal woman, the best example of a virtuous wife and mother. This final chapter of Proverbs echoes Proverbs 1:7 — “fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”

The term "Proverbs 31 woman" refers to a description of an ideal and virtuous woman found in the Book of Proverbs, specifically in Chapter 31:10-31. This passage is often cited as a standard of feminine virtue and is considered a model for women's behavior following the virtues taught in Christianity.

Proverbs 31:10-31

10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Meaning of a Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 woman is often seen as this ideal figure—virtuous, strong, and selfless. But let’s be real: she’s not meant to be a picture of perfection that we beat ourselves up trying to match. She’s an example of a faithful, godly woman whose life reflects love, diligence, and trust in the Lord. And the beautiful thing? She’s not described as perfect, but as someone who lives her life with purpose and faithfulness.

The ESV Study Bible points out that she has “a range of manual, commercial, administrative, and interpersonal skills.” She works hard, takes care of her family, and helps those in need (v. 20). But this doesn’t mean she’s doing everything on her own or without struggles. In fact, the passage shows she knows how to delegate, trusts others, and balances her responsibilities. Her strength comes from the Lord, and her fear of Him is what guides her (v. 30). It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being faithful.

What I love about Proverbs 31 is how it paints a picture of a life lived over time. It’s not describing a single day or season but years of growing in character and wisdom. This woman is sharp and resourceful, but she’s also humble and loving. Her efforts aren’t about striving for perfection—they’re about serving her family, her community, and her God with a heart that trusts in His plan.

The truth is, no one gets everything right all the time. The Proverbs 31 woman isn’t an impossible standard we’re meant to measure up to; she’s an example of what’s possible when we let God lead our lives. Her life isn’t perfect, but it’s full of purpose, love, and grace—and that’s what makes her story so inspiring.

So, instead of feeling overwhelmed by the thought of being “that woman,” let’s focus on the heart of the passage: fearing the Lord and trusting Him with our lives. Because it’s not about doing it all perfectly; it’s about letting Him guide us, one step at a time.

Read the full Bible commentary on Proverbs chapter 31 from Matthew Henry.

Characteristics of a Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 woman is described as a woman of noble character, someone who stands out for her faithfulness and integrity. She’s often portrayed as a loving wife and devoted mother, but her influence goes beyond her family. The qualities attributed to her in this passage give us a beautiful glimpse into the kind of person she strives to be—faithful, wise, and strong. Let’s take a look at some of the key traits that make her so inspiring:

Trustworthiness: She is a woman who can be trusted by her husband, and he has full confidence in her.
Industriousness: She is a hard worker, diligent in her responsibilities, and not idle. She is often depicted as being involved in various economic activities, including investing in fields, making garments, and trading.
Wisdom: She is known for her wisdom and good judgment, making wise decisions in her daily life.
Compassion: She is known for her compassion and kindness, both within her family and towards others.
Strength and dignity: She is described as strong, not just physically but also in character. She carries herself with dignity and honor.
Resourcefulness: She is skilled in managing her household, providing for her family, and being prepared for the future.
Fear of the Lord: The passage concludes by saying that her worth is not just in her external qualities but also in her reverence for God.

These words describe “a woman who honors God by seeking Him in everything she does and trusting Him wholeheartedly with her life. She has a heart of reverence that overflows into a life of spiritual maturity and wisdom.”

She is not born this way; she gets there by a process of refinement, which is a work of the Holy Spirit. A woman who yearns to please God strives to be like this ideal example, but with the understanding that every Christian is a work in progress, brought “to completion in the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).

Who Can Be a Proverbs Woman?

One reason a woman might skip past Proverbs 31 is that not all women marry, and not all who marry become parents. Should an unmarried woman or a wife with no children still aspire to the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman?

Marriage is an especially intimate relationship, yet aspects of an intimate relationship are not mentioned by the writer in this piece of wisdom literature. His greatest concern has to do with the woman’s character and how she interacts with people.

The writer is hopeful that the young men of his community will seek out this sort of wife and that the young girls will aspire to her ideal. But even if they never marry, every female who sincerely loves the Lord is developing the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman.

At many times and in many locations around the world (even now), professing faith in Christ has been risky for women. They have had to truly love the Lord in order to endure the ridicule and isolation they sometimes face(d).

One historian wrote that, in his opinion, the church was attended by the “silly and mean and stupid,” and “disproportionately populated by women.” Certainly, the church attracted individuals who needed to be cared for — sheltering vulnerable people has always been a function of the church.

But it took great courage to be a Christian woman. For one thing, many of them attended Christian fellowship without their husbands; they “often converted to Christianity while their male relatives remained pagans, lest they lose their senatorial status.”

One might argue that any woman with a sincere Christian faith is well on her way to becoming the ideal example of Proverbs 31.

The Proverbs 31 Woman is a Leader

Another reason there were more females than males in the first fellowship was that the church “repudiated” the “practice of exposing unwanted female infants — abandoning them to certain death.”

Statistics alone ensure that women had to be leaders, perhaps responsible for “organizing and hosting” the Lord’s Supper and other meetings, which provided “natural opportunities for women to serve and even lead.”

Men and women prayed and sang together, and women sometimes led the hymns. As seen in Acts 18:26, where Priscilla was involved in discipleship, educated female participants in Christian fellowship “read and interpreted Scripture.”

A woman boasting the aforementioned characteristics was one who lived out the values of service, humility, and charity taught by Christ. In fact, women were central to the charitable work and organization of the church from the very start.

Christ and the Church as the Proverbs 31 Wife

Proverbs 31 describes an ideal woman, but also the ideal bride: The church. “God created marriage to be a metaphor of Christ’s relationship to the church,” wrote John Piper.

As such, the selfless, hard-working, considerate, pleasing woman of this Old Testament passage represents everyone who makes up the body of the Christian church. “The union of man and woman in marriage” contains “a truth about Christ and the church,” which is that “God ordained a permanent union between His Son and the church.”

Marriage between a man and a woman should reflect this: The man is the head, giving his life for the woman; the woman submits to the man who lays his life down for her. “Human marriage is the copy, not the original” (Piper).

Taken as a metaphor, Proverbs 31 is not simply describing wives and mothers, but also husbands and fathers, unmarried men and women, couples without children, and those who have survived their spouses.

Anyone who calls himself or herself a Christian is a bride of Christ through the Spirit, which unites the global church. Each person and each fellowship have responsibilities such as spreading the good reputation of the bridegroom (v.23) and caring for the poor (v.20).

Chad Ashby comments: “The church ought to be characterized by [...] single-hearted devotion to her Bridegroom,” which is embodied by the Proverbs 31 woman. “After all, John Gill reiterates, she is 'a woman actually married to Christ.’”

Final Words from the New Testament

“Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves” (1 Peter 3:4-5).

God wants his bride to love him, to submit to him, and then he will give his bride discernment. He will increase her courage and soften her heart, so she is disposed to give generously; to act charitably.

He will ensure that when “she opens her mouth with wisdom, [...] the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (v.26). His bride is his treasure. We, the church, are his bride.

For further reading:

How Did Jesus Treat Women in the Bible?

How the Women in the Bible Were Revered, Respected, and Diverse

What Does it Mean to be a Daughter of Christ?

Who Needs to Hear Proverbs 31 the Most?

Candice Lucey is a freelance writer from British Columbia, Canada, where she lives with her family. Find out more about her here.