7 Benefits of Mentorship with Another Couple

Whether you’re a newlywed or have been married for decades, there is always room for growth in your marriage. One way to achieve growth is to meet with another married couple regularly.

Romans 12:4-5 says, “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.” In other words, we need each other.

Engaging in mentorship with another married couple can be highly beneficial as you each bring your unique needs and gifts to the table. Join me in exploring seven benefits of marriage mentorship.

1. Mentorship Can Breed Humility

Let’s be honest - saying another couple is mentoring you can feel awkward. Will people assume your marriage is in trouble? Will people think you’re not wise enough to navigate marriage on your own?

Proverbs 11:2 tells us that “when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” Amazing things happen when you allow yourself to let go of the fear of man and man’s judgment.

Humbling yourself to not only admit another couple is mentoring you but also to talk openly about the benefits will help normalize mentorship and hopefully encourage other couples to follow suit.

2. Mentors Offer Guidance

Being mentored by another married couple isn’t always about resolving conflict. In fact, it’s more about walking through life together and accepting support, love, and encouragement.

Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Mentors can help you dream, make and achieve goals, and be a trusted listening ear.

Ideally, your mentors would be a couple older than you who have been married longer. The wisdom they can offer will hopefully help you not only avoid mistakes they made themselves but also give you first-hand accounts of God’s faithfulness.

3. Mentors Can Hold You Accountable

Every marriage consists of two sinners. We all have our own sin struggles that we are very aware of, and we also have blind spots that we need others to point out to us.

Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.” Accountability is not about shaming. Accountability is about helping you grow to be more like Christ.

This, of course, takes us back to “mentoring breeds humility.” The husband and wife need to be humble enough to admit to sin struggles and accept correction, spiritual instruction, and accountability. 

4. Mentors Will Celebrate with You

In most mentoring relationships, couples become very good friends and are there to support you and join you in life’s celebrations!

Romans 12:15(a) says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice.” And who better to rejoice with you than a couple who has likely been praying for the very thing you’re celebrating?

Marital mentors want nothing more than to see you succeed in your marriage. Allowing them to walk with you and celebrate big and small successes will be a blessing to you all because, ultimately, you will be celebrating God’s grace and faithfulness.

5. Mentors Will Mourn with You

As with all marriages, there are ups and downs. For many, it often feels that for every one thing worth celebrating, there is at least one thing to mourn.

Romans 12:15(b) tells us to “weep with those who weep.” And who better to weep with you than a couple who has walked closely with you through your ups and downs?

Whether you are grieving the death of a loved one, the consequences of sin, a diagnosis, or any of the many disappointments this life throws at us, having a mentor relationship will provide spiritual and emotional support like none other.

6. Mentors Will Pray for You and with You

Mentors, in many ways, are like living journals. They see you, hear you, and know you. They know the areas of your life that need to be covered in prayer, and they pray not only with you but for you when you’re not together.

1 Timothy 2:1 says, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,” It is a joy and a privilege to pray for one another, and your marriage mentors will grow in their own faith as they watch the power of prayer unfold in your lives.

I say that mentors are like living journals because, over the years, they will help you look back and remember the ways the Lord worked through prayer. They will remind you of God’s faithfulness, love, and kindness.

7. Mentors Will Learn From You

The reality is no marriage is perfect - not even the marriage of your mentors. They will often rely on you as much as you rely on them. And together, your marriages will flourish.

Proverbs 27:17 tells us that “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another,” Just as being mentored will breed humility in you, being a mentor will breed humility in them.

Just as you confess your sins, they will likely confess their own. As they hold you accountable, they will teach you how to hold them accountable as well. This relationship can become a beautiful display of Christ’s love.

For many couples, the church family is more loving, supportive, and involved than blood relatives. Having a mentor relationship within your church family will likely be one of the most special, influential relationships of your life.

Not only is there no shame in seeking a mentor relationship for your marriage, it is actually a sign of wisdom. And the likely outcome will be that one day, you will take what you learned from those who mentored you, and you will become the mentor.

Marriage is a covenant relationship that deserves nurturing. I encourage you to nurture your marriage by seeking the mentorship of a godly couple, and then I encourage you to be prepared for the Lord to do mighty things.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/DjelicS

Beth Ann Baus is a wife and mother of two adult sons. She is a freelance writer and author of Sister Sunday, My So Much More, and His Power, Our Weakness: Encouragement for the Biblical Counselor. In her writing, Beth often pulls from her own experiences of abuse, anxiety, depression and OCD. Beth has a heart for homeschooling, women’s ministry, and is an ACBC-certified Biblical Counselor. She loves serving alongside her husband and pointing couples to the Word for strengthening their marriages and home life. You can find more from her at www.bethannbaus.com.