4 Blessings of Marrying Young

1. You Get More Time Together

This may seem like an obvious observation, but many things come with time. My husband and I have shared experiences that many miss out on when they meet their significant other later in life. We went to the same college together, which led to meeting each other's friends and many long nights of stressful studying. Through our campus ministry, we served side by side on the worship team (how we met) and got to go on a mission trip to Nicaragua together. We worked at a Christian summer camp together and learned how to set boundaries and prioritize ministry, all while still encouraging and pouring into one another. We each had a front-row seat as the other applied to jobs and figured out their passions and future career. We planned a wedding during our last year of college while simultaneously adjusting to the pandemic and all the changes it brought. All in all, we shared many triumphs and sorrows together, even before marriage.

It's no secret that married couples change and grow as time goes on. It can be a challenge to merge two adult lives. You've been living on your own, cooking your own food, and establishing your routine for years. You have a certain way you like the laundry to be done, you have control over what's on the TV, and you can stay up as late as you want. Then suddenly, you get married and have to adapt to another person's habits that may be starkly different from yours. Don't get me wrong; this can be a growing experience in and of itself. For many couples, this very circumstance is what has brought them closer together! I have friends who say it forced them to put their desires aside and prioritize their partner by respecting their way of doing things. It forced them to really listen to one another and be vulnerable.

My husband and I forwent this by entering adulthood as one unit and one flesh. We figured it out together and established new rhythms as one force, whether it was to our advantage or disadvantage. There are certainly valuable things to be learned through both experiences, but I can say that it's been a blessing for us to go through this unique and exciting time side by side. What a rare experience to grow and change together.

2. You Get to Support One Another through Life's Biggest Decisions

I've already hinted at this, but it is true -- getting married young comes with many decisions. Where to live, what to do for work, what church to go to, how to merge and handle finances, whose family to be nearer to, when to start a family, when to get a house, etc. All of these are important decisions! I was always overwhelmed by the thought of "adulting" and all the responsibilities that come with going out into the world on your own. It has been a blessing to lean on my husband and have him as a constant source of support and encouragement. Whenever I have felt overwhelmed, frustrated, or confused, he has been my reminder to go to Christ in prayer. With any decision, big or small, he always helps me take it to Him first.

Decisions are always less daunting when you have someone to talk them through with. This is part of why God has created marriage. So we have a partner, a helper. As Genesis 2:18 says, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" Marriage is the blessing of a companion who has promised never to leave your side. It is beautiful and powerful and something I am only slowly grasping. It is a small piece of the bigger puzzle of God's design and a foretaste of His love for us. What a sweet blessing to have a spouse to go through challenges with.

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3. It Is a Practice of Full Trust in God

A lot of people in today's world push off marriage in order to cling to their independence. Don't get me wrong, independence is a great thing, but idolizing it and the feeling of "doing whatever I want" can become a temptation. In secular society, we are constantly told to seek more. More money, more success, more pleasure. Marriage can be put on the back burner because couples embrace the benefits of sex and living together outside of its covenant. As believers, we know that these things are designed to be enjoyed within marriage and that all of the success in the world amounts to nothing in light of eternity with our Heavenly Father. Getting married young takes trust. It takes putting aside those idols and vowing to selflessly give of yourself to another person, every day. You have to trust God for provision and depend on Him alone to sustain your marriage.

When my husband proposed, neither of us had jobs lined up. We were still in school applying and had no assurance of work after graduation. You can imagine how this weighed on Ian as he felt the responsibility to provide for us, and soon. Of course, I felt that too, but he was the one who had to promise my dad that he would take care of me as his wife. All we knew was that we would figure it out together. That no matter what happened, we wanted to go through it as a married couple. It strengthened our relationship as we returned again and again to prayer. And He answered those prayers. Ian wound up being offered a job the day after graduation, and this job fell into my lap a few weeks later as an absolute testament to God's faithfulness. Of course, it doesn't always work like that. God's answer is often "no" or "not yet," and we have to be okay with that too. We learned early on that we must depend on Him in every circumstance and trust in His plan for us. Whether prayers go answered or unanswered, nothing is wasted.

4. You Get to Experience a Beautiful Covenant

Marriage is a precious gift and an incredible reflection of Christ's love for us. It is sacred and not to be taken lightly. As Christians, marriage is more than a fairytale. Kali Dawson says it beautifully in her article How Does Marriage Reflect the Gospel: "Marriage is an act of putting 'me first' to death in my mentality and my vocabulary and trading it for 'you first.' It is a picture of putting my own selfishness to death so that my union with my spouse as one may come to life – just as Jesus was put to death so that despite my sinfulness, I could be one with Him."

In a healthy, god-honoring marriage, others will be able to see Christ through that marriage. There will be something so undeniably selfless about it that contradicts everything our sinful world promotes. Further than that, the couple themselves will be constantly touched by the tiny fractions of unconditional love that mirror the love we have in Christ.

Of course, we live in a fallen world, so no relationship is perfect. Far from it. My husband and I have had misunderstandings, disagreements, and moments where we don't love each other as we should. But what matters is that we don't give up on each other or fall into bitterness. We must apply the gospel by forgiving one another and showing grace in times when it may be undeserved because that is how Christ loves us. "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

Getting married young is not only incredibly fun; it is full of rich blessings, too. I have drawn closer to the Lord and learned more about His love for me by seeing how my husband cherishes me and puts me first. There are many more challenges coming our way, and an infinite amount of wisdom to gain, but I am glad for what we have learned so far and how we have grown together. Our God is a God of provision and blessings!

"For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." John 1:16

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