What Do I Do if My Remarriage is in Trouble?

“Please remove my name from your mailing list,” the woman’s email requested. “I am no longer a stepmom.”

My heart sunk as I finished her note. Divorce. Again. She became one of the census statistics which reports that 60-73% of stepfamilies fail.

I cried out to God, “Lord, one more marriage gone. One more home fractured. One more child believing, ‘marriage doesn’t work’ because he/she has now witnessed two demolished families.”

“Lord, help me to reach stepmoms before it’s too late. Please, show me how to provide help, healing and hope through stepmoms retreats.”

Last year when I had the idea to conduct a stepmom retreat I assumed it would be a one-time event. I asked a few stepmom sisters who offered a similar stepmom outreach to join me.  And that one step, that one decision, has rocked my world.

Since I co-wrote The Smart Stepmom, I’ve gotten used to stepmoms emailing me for help, but now at the retreat they were in my arms. Their tears, pending divorces, and the voices of their hurting children, were looking me in the eyes. And their begging pleas, “I’m afraid I might not make it. I feel like a failure. Show me how to survive life in a stepfamily,” could not be silenced in my head.

“What are we going to do now?” was the question each teammate asked as we ate lunch together after the retreat.

“We can’t stop now,” one team member shared. “We must do more of these events, more stepmoms need our help.”

And so with no money, no sponsor, no guidebook to follow, and no web site established, we launched a ministry, Sisterhood of Stepmoms. 

Within 2 weeks of establishing a Facebook page we had 700 likes. And stepmoms from everywhere began sharing how grateful they were to receive help and a place to find healing.

Before all of this occurred I kept asking God for a “nice, clean” women’s ministry. You know something with pink ribbons and flowing butterflies. I was seeking a ministry that the annual women’s luncheon would eagerly embrace for their keynote.

But God had other plans. And I’m so glad. I’m thrilled to be on this journey because of another email I received—one that reads differently.

“Dear Laura, Thank you for your ministry to stepmoms. I want you to know it saved my marriage. I was on the verge of divorce; I couldn’t take stepfamily living anymore. And you taught me that with God’s help I can learn how to live above the circumstances. You offered practical, no-nonsense, real life information which changed my attitude. My husband immediately noticed, and now I think we will make it.”

It doesn’t get any better than that.

If you or someone you know would like to know more please visit www.SisterhoodofStepmoms.com

Copyright © 2014 Laura Petherbridge. All rights reserved

Laura Petherbridge is an international author and speaker who serves couples and single adults with topics on relationships, stepparenting, divorce prevention, and divorce recovery. She is the author of 101 Tips for The Smart Stepmom—Expert Advice from One Stepmom to Another and When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t”—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, and a featured expert on the DivorceCare DVD series. Her book The Smart Stepmom, is co-authored with stepfamily expert Ron Deal. Her website is www.TheSmartStepmom.com

Publication date: October 31, 2014