How Can You Revive the Romance in Your Marriage?

You know, when we mention the idea of reviving romance to couples we often hear: "Romance? Yeah right. My husband was romantic before we got married," or "we had time for romance long before the kids came along," or "I’m not that type, I don’t think of those things," or even "my mate is way too practical for romance."

Well, it seems that amid all the distractions of home and work and kids and life it’s easy to let romance go by the wayside. But romance is a must if you want your relationship to grow into maturity. Without frequent healthy doses of it, your relationship will shrivel up. The key to romance is this: just do it. Most romantic things take very little time and yet the dividends can be great.

So you may be asking, "What’s the winning combination?" It’s genuine love. It’s authentic laughter. It’s thoughtful acts. Romance consists of the simple things, the intentional things, the caring things. It helps us wash over with memories and once again we’re reminded of why we married, why we cherish one another, why we love one another.

The important thing with romance is to think about the needs of your spouse. What is it that you’re going to do, even today, to spark the romance in your marriage? Maybe even tonight -- what are you going to do? Maybe it will be a look across a room, maybe it will be a listening ear, or maybe it will be a gentle hug. Yes, romance really can be this simple. Perhaps it will be snuggling on a couch and holding hands, reminding each other of why you said, "I do," and why today you want to say, "you know what baby, I still do."

Husbands, take the romantic lead with your precious wives. Remind her that you love her. She needs to hear it again and again -- and again. Most girls grew up on fairy tales and romantic stories, and while those are just stories, they leave a woman longing for a little romance in her life. Learn what lights up her eyes and puts a smile on her face. Chances are the same things will work time and time again.

Men, let us give you a couple of starters. Take your wife’s to-do list from her and do it for her! How about kiss her hand tonight after dinner? Dance with her in the moonlight. Ask her what romantic things she likes and then do them. Compliment her, especially for the little things. Go buy her flowers and say "Thanks for all you do for us." How about leaving secret notes in her car or even in the home?

Now wives, you aren’t off the romance hook. It’s a two-way street. Our husbands deserve sparks in their lives as well. Maybe he has been working hard; he’s been distracted, he’s maybe even hit some frustrating times. Remind him, even tonight, that you honor him, you love him, you cherish him -- that he is yours and you are his.

And then, maybe, just look at each other and say, "You know, it’s not a perfect life, but it’s a good life and a good life finishes well together."

Rejoice with the wife of your youth…
Proverbs 5:18

© 2005 America's Family Coaches


Married for over 30 years, the parents of two adult daughters and grandparents of three, Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg have a unique blend of insight and wisdom that touch people of all ages. Together with Gary's 25,000 hours of counseling experience and Barbara's gift of encouragement and biblical teaching, they are America's Family Coaches, equipping thousands of families across the nation through their interactive daily radio program, conferences, and marriage and family resources.