Is ‘Match Made in Heaven’ in Marriage Biblical?
- Vivian Bricker Contributing Writer
- Published Jun 20, 2022
A common phrase across the Western world is the saying a “match made in heaven.” When individuals use this phrase, they are referring to the concept of finding your “one” or finding your “soulmate.”
This phrase is popular in the modern-day because of the intense desire of the world to find “the love of their life.” While the saying “match made in heaven” is popular within the culture, we have to answer the question of whether or not it is biblical.
A Match Made in Heaven
The culture of the Western world is fixated on the idea of finding your “soulmate.” One only has to watch a few movies or listen to a few songs to know that the main desire of the Western world is to find “the one.”
It is through the culture today that we get the saying “match made in heaven.” This phrase is not directly used in the Bible, nor is it hinted at in the Bible. Just because a cultural trend pushes this idea does not mean it is biblical.
While many people are fascinated with the idea of having a “match made in heaven,” it is just not biblical. The truth is that there is not a “perfect” person waiting for you or to be your beacon.
The Bible tells us that we all fall short and we all sin (Romans 3:23). You cannot marry the “perfect” person for you because there are not any perfect people. The only perfect person is God Himself (Mark 10:18).
While many people will get married in their lives, it does not mean it will be a “match made in heaven.” All marriages will have disagreements, arguments, and frictions because both members of the marriage are two fallen human beings with a sin nature.
It is unfair to expect anyone to be your “match made in heaven.” We are all fallen sinners, and we cannot be perfect for anyone. In the same way, our partner does not need to have the expectation placed upon their head that they were your “match made in heaven.”
It is an unrealistic standard to place on anyone. When we use the phrase “match made in heaven,” it can seem as if the other person is perfect for you or that God divinely placed you in this relationship.
Unfortunately, not every relationship a person will be in will be right. Often a person will have to date many people before they find the person they are going to marry, and even at that, we cannot be dogmatic in saying that the relationship is a “match made in heaven.”
All for Romantic Relationships
In the modern era that we are living in, relationships are highly romanticized and are presented as better than they really are. A simple scroll through social media fills our eyes with “perfect” relationships, whether that be people we know or celebrities.
Despite what photographs or captions might imply, there are no perfect relationships. The concept of having a “match made in heaven” within theological aspects is not reasonable. God never tells us He made somebody just for us.
Rather He created us to know Him and to love Him. The Lord did not create us specifically to have romantic relationships with others but rather to love Him and serve Him forever.
Yes, God did create Eve to be a “helper” to Adam, but God’s ultimate purpose for every human being, whether male or female, is to know Him and to have a relationship with Him.
Growing up, my sisters and I quickly became aware of the fact that marriages are not perfect. I love both of my parents, but their marriage was always on the rocks as far as I can remember, from the time I was a kid to the time my mother passed away.
From that time, I knew that marriage would never be perfect and that there were no “matches in heaven.” If they were, then I figured my mom must have been handed a bad hand.
Yes, marriages can glorify God if they are built upon Him and if both the man and the woman respect each other, care for each other, and seek the well-being of each other (Ephesians 5:21-33).
In my own experience, my mom always sought out the well-being of my dad, but he never treated her the way she should have been treated.
I say this not to discourage you from being married but rather to paint a realistic picture of what marriage may turn into if both spouses are not centered on Christ.
My mom was a believer, and my dad wasn’t. Some might say I’m biased, but through theological training, I can say that we should not be dogmatic in saying that there is a “match in heaven” for each of us.
In fact, Jesus tells us that some of us will not marry and that those who have received this calling should accept it (Matthew 19:10-11).
Wishful Thinking
As nice as it would be to know that we each have a “match in heaven,” it’s not biblical. It can sound pessimistic to shoot down this dream for some, but I’d rather speak the truth than have others follow after a fallacy.
You might marry one day, or you might not, but the idea of having a “match made in heaven” is not biblical, and it is not realistic. Yes, you may have similarities with a person, and you may get along well with them, but it doesn’t mean he or she is your “match made in heaven.”
In all relationships, there will be arguments, fights, and friction. Sadly, in some relationships, there is infidelity, or one may decide to leave the other. Relationships are sticky things that can come with many emotional roller coasters.
If you want to get married, you can pray for God to lead you to the right person, but it’s unfair to God to think that He made you a “match in heaven.” You were not created to have a romantic relationship with the person of your dreams despite the endless films that propose this idea.
Rather, you were created to love God and have a relationship with Him forever. It is my opinion that much of the obsession with finding “the one” comes from our culture.
We are taught from a young age “the American Dream” of growing up, getting married, having a family, and living in a house with a white picket fence.
God never promises us any of these things. Instead, God promises us His love, mercy, and everlasting life with Him.
Since we know Christ, we are already complete in Him. Colossians 2:10 tells us, “And in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.”
Our Western culture and especially Christian culture teach us that we are “incomplete” unless we have found a “good Christian spouse,” but yet again, this is another false belief because we are already complete in Christ.
If there is any “match made in heaven,” it’s the love the Father extended to us by sending His Son to die for our sins (John 3:16-17). As nice and comforting as it would be to believe we have a “match in heaven,” it’s not biblical teaching.
For further reading:
Why Is the Phrase ‘You Complete Me’ in Marriage Misleading?
How Can Believing in Soulmates Ultimately Ruin Your Marriage?
Why Can’t a Romantic Relationship Fulfill You?
Does God Give the Promise of Marriage to Us?
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Ivanko_Brnjakovic
