Celebrate Spousal Differences

My husband Bill loves his coffee.

I am not a coffee drinker, really. I might drink a non-fat latte but for the most part coffee makes my heart race, and I prefer Bill making my heart skip a beat! Bill jokes that I am naturally caffeinated by God, and it takes him three cups of coffee just to keep up with my energy. Bill has an internal homing device that helps him spot a Starbucks green awning.

But along with Bill’s love of coffee, he also has a habit that could be very annoying: his aversion to putting the coffee mugs into the dishwasher. I find coffee cups every place imaginable: in the garage, in the car, in the truck, in the closet, on the sidewalk, on the deck and patio, in the shop, in the office, on the stairwell, in the bathroom — you name it. It is a good thing we are authors and speakers because we love collecting the coffee mugs from all the places we visit — and we need every one of them!

In my new book, 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband, I share how to make this year the best year of your man’s life by giving some ideas on loving and living with your guy. So how did I handle the mug issue?

Appreciate the difference: Coffee is a part of what makes Bill, well, Bill! One day, as we were preparing to move and I was doing that last load of dishes, I realized it was composed of all coffee mugs! 47 of them to be exact! It made me smile because years ago, I decided to pray for Bill every time I saw one of his empty, displaced mugs. I was seeking to apply the principle, “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). I learned to embraced the ever reappearing dirty coffee mug with fond affection because it reminds me of my hard workin’ man who requires caffiene to do all the wonderful acts of service that benefit so many – including me.

Celebrate the difference: For Bill’s 50^th birthday we celebrated by having Bill select and roast his own brand of coffee. It took one afternoon to visit a coffee farm, select the beans, roast it to perfection and design the label. I knew I had a winning date as I watched him linger a moment to savor the aroma of his Farrel Family blend of Mountain Thunder Vienna roast. He took a sip; then I watched a big grin appear on my husband’s well-caffeinated soul. 

Integrate the difference: I take note of when Bill’s “Farrel Family roast” runs low as I know a mug of his favorite blend, with just a touch of real cream, will endear his heart to mine just like that empty, dirty cup does when I discover it in the next unusual place.  Praying for Bill when I see a coffee mug, even when I travel and might be away from Bill, has become my life rhythm. 

Today, take that thing that is driving you crazy about your man and make it a prayer, a celebration or a date to wow him!

Bill and Pam Farrel are international speakers and authors of over 35 books including best selling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. Free relationship articles and other books and resources like Pam’s newest 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband can we found at www.Love-Wise.com