To Shattered Hearts

Editor's Note: This article is part of our Valentine's Love Letter series. Check out the previous letter here.

If you’re like me, you do your best to plan and be proactive. We plan, we schedule, and we organize our lives in our attempt to control them to the best of our ability. Truth is, we don’t have as much control over our lives as we would like to believe. Unforeseen events occur every day. Events like a divorce or separation. Maybe the unforeseen death of a loved one or acts of betrayal and rejection. Events of such gravity not only hurt us but can shatter our hearts. 

If you are currently in the emotional state of a shattered heart, this love letter is just for you. It's one I feel the heavenly Father has shared with me to offer hope, peace, and healing:

My Dear Beloved, 

I want to ensure you of valuable truths to get you through this challenging time of heartbreak. I can hear the thoughts you wrestle with: How did I let this happen? Is it all my fault? 

What I value most about our relationship isn't your performance but that you choose to love me. I could have programmed you and others to perform exactly to my desires, but that’s not real love. I decided to give you and all humankind the right to exercise your free will, your choices. The choices people make often negatively impact the lives of others, including yours. I know your heart is broken now, but don’t give up hope. I know your heart and dreams have been crushed, but I beseech you to hear me out and stand firm on three facts: 

First, you are valuable, and I still have good plans for you. 

Let me address the elephant in the room. You are right, you did not deserve to be mistreated the way you were! I watch you daily doing your best to practice treating others the way you want to be treated. This is a core value that I want all my children to have; however, not everyone does. 

Here is what you need to know: you are still valuable to me! “Even before you were formed in  your mother’s belly, I knew you [and approved of you as My chosen instrument], And before  you were born, I consecrated you [to Myself as My Own]” (Jeremiah 1:5 AMP). Unfortunately, humans often try to devalue you to make themselves feel better. They usually do this out of the pain they are experiencing in their own lives. Yet, you must remember I fearfully and wonderfully created you. You were never a mistake. Opinions of others, including your own, have never altered my opinion of you. You are still the apple of my eye. (Psalm 17:8, AMP) 

I know that the absence of your loved one has been a great emotional loss for you. You have been feeling like your life has no purpose. Remember what I told my prophet, Jeremiah: “I know the thoughts I think toward you... thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” (Jeremiah 29:11). These words also apply to you, my love. No one and nothing can derail the good plans that I have established for you. 

Second, you have come too far to give up now. 

I've heard your thoughts, the lies you tell yourself, I just need to give up. But you can't stop here! There is so much more ahead of you. You can’t give up doing what is right. You will reap the good back in your life. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” (Galatians 6:9)

I know you did not see this event coming. It took you by surprise. It looks messy and may seem hopeless but keep pressing forward like your brother Paul: “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14 KJV). I will work all things out together for your good (Romans 8:28). Do not fret yourself about how I will get it done; just know that I will. 

I am not minimizing your pain; I can empathize with you very well. You had a reasonable expectation that you would have been treated differently. Of all people, you should have been able to trust this person. Take the time to confront what you're feeling, and don't try to sweep your emotions under the rug. Allow me to help you heal through my words, my strength, and the grace I extend to you every day. Let me remind you that every morning I give you brand new compassions to make it through your day. (Lamentations 3:23)  

Third, you already have the victory. 

You have my compassion, but I am also going to challenge you because you can't afford to stay stuck here. I challenge you to be reminded that you have the Greater One inside of you. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world (I John 4:4). Yes, indeed my child, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!  

We have the common enemy, the devil. I need you to be reminded that his only purpose is to rob, kill, and destroy, but you have a Savior who came so you might have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10). Never forget that the devil is a defeated liar and there is no truth in him (John 8:44). I mention this because as I speak truth and life to you, the enemy will always be around to try and contradict the Truth that I'm telling you. He will speak lies to you, saying you will never heal from your shattered heart. He will speak condemnation to you and make you feel guilty for bad decisions and choices that you've made. My child, I need you to resist his lies by focusing on the truths that I declare over you: “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the  Spirit” (Romans 8:1). 

I wrote this letter to remind you that I agape you. I love you unconditionally and I am here to heal your shattered heart. I can hear you asking, how am I supposed to function with all this pain while I heal? My child, healing is a process.  

Look at it from this perspective: I know you have had medical procedures performed; major and minor. As you have been advised by your physicians, allow yourself time to heal. The physicians prescribed you medication to help the healing process. This letter is part of your prescription to heal your broken heart. 

Keep this letter close by and read it daily. It is filled with truth to heal your wounds. Apply the below directions to move forward and enjoy the abundant  life I have planned for you: 

1. Share your pain and feelings with me. We can talk as often as you would like. Cast your cares on me because I care for you (1 Peter 5:7). You do not have to worry about hurting my feelings. I am strong and can handle whatever you throw at me. 

2. Follow the example of my son Jesus. When the devil tempted him in the wilderness, after he had been fasting, Jesus responded to every lie the devil told him with my truth. Do the same thing. Meditate on and confess all the truths I have shared with you. Speak them in your conversation daily to obliviate the lies the enemy is saying to you: 

• Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may  receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  
• Psalm 147:3 “He healeth the broken in heart, And bindeth up their wounds.” 
• Isaiah 43:18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” 
• Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I  will strengthen you, I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”
• Psalm 34:18 (NIV) “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are  crushed in spirit.” I know sometimes it feels like I am far away, and you cannot find me. I  am not distant from you, but I am here near you and with you.”

3. Forgive the person who hurt you. FORGIVE?? I hear you loud and clear. I am going to take parental privilege here. Yes, forgive. You can decide to do so. Do it because you love me (John 14:15), and do it because I instructed you to (Luke 6:37). You may not feel like it now, and don’t think they deserve to be forgiven, but I need you to forgive for yourself. This is not the time to have anything or anyone interfering with our connection because of unforgiveness in your heart (Matthew 6:14-15).

I will always love you and will never leave you. I made this promise to you, and I will not take it back. 

From my heart to yours, 

Abba, Your Heavenly Father 

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/marietjieopp

Sandra Cobb is a grateful mother of three amazing children and grandmother of nine precious grandbabies. She is a certified Forgiveness Coach, speaker, and author of "Free to Forgive." She is passionate about sharing the love of God and testimonies of how faithful He is!