The Truth About Divorce According to the Bible
- Britt Mooney Contributing Writer
- Published Aug 16, 2024
What Does the Bible Say about Divorce?
Over the past few decades, many Christians have expressed concern about the high divorce rate. The American divorce rate has declined steadily over the past few decades. Currently, about 39% of marriages end in divorce, down from nearly 50% in the 1980s. Younger generations, such as Millennials, are delaying marriage, which has contributed to a lower rate over the past ten years.
For Christians, the Bible clearly sets a standard for fidelity in marriage. However, with fewer people getting married and a relatively high divorce rate, the church’s stance on marriage and especially divorce has been challenged.
As usual, the Bible isn’t silent about marriage or divorce. A deeper exploration into God’s Word always provides the right perspective.
We should begin with his design for marriage.
What Does the Bible Say about God and Marriage?
God lays marriage’s foundation when he creates Adam and Eve. In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” God forms Eve from Adam’s rib, illustrating the relationship’s intimate and complementary nature. Genesis 2:24 further emphasizes this bond: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” God, within himself, is a family (Father, Son, Spirit), and he created marriage as the way forward to multiply and cover the earth.
The union between husband and wife signifies a profound, lifelong commitment designed by God for companionship and a specific mission: to have children and spread God’s image over the earth to bring the planet under a good and godly dominion. God instituted marriage and the purpose before the Fall.
While the Fall didn’t end marriage, the curse introduced division between husband and wife, as sin brings enmity in all our relationships. Still, the Old Testament upholds marriage as a sacred covenant. God brings a saving covenant through Abraham and Sarah and a child, continuing to use the marriage and family to redeem and enact his will.
Proverbs extols the virtues of a loving and faithful wife, and Song of Solomon celebrates marital love’s beauty and passion. The prophetic books often use marriage as a metaphor for God’s relationship with Israel. For example, Hosea describes Israel’s unfaithfulness as an adulterous wife, while God’s enduring love is portrayed through Hosea’s forgiveness and restoration of his wife, Gomer. This imagery highlights the faithfulness, commitment, and redemptive love God desires in marriage.
Jesus reaffirms the sanctity of marriage. In Matthew 19:4-6, he highlights the creation account, stating, “Haven’t you read... that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” In essence, in the New Covenant, Jesus calls believers back to the original design.
The apostle Paul provides further insights into marriage. In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul presents human marriage as a profound mystery mirroring the relationship between Christ and the Church. He instructs husbands to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” and wives to respect their husbands.
Not surprisingly, the Bible expresses marriage at the very culmination at the end of the age. Revelation 19:7-9 describes the “wedding of the Lamb” and the readiness of his Bride, the Church. The eschatological vision portrays the ultimate union between Christ and his followers, symbolizing the eternal, covenantal love that God intends for marriage. Here, human marriage symbolizes a heavenly reality.
What Does the Bible Say about God and Divorce?
Marriage speaks about the Trinity, Christ, and the Church, and the ultimate reality is seen in the New Heaven and the New Earth. Husband and wife (and the family) remain God’s chosen redemptive model, even used with Mary and Joseph to bring the Son into the world. It makes sense that God would stand against divorce. He isn’t divided with himself, nor is Christ and the Church.
While the Mosaic Law gave an allowance for divorce, the prophet Malachi delivers a strong message regarding God’s view on divorce. In Malachi 2:16, God declares, “I hate divorce,” and goes on to say that divorce covers one’s garment with violence. The prophetic imagery reflects the emotional and relational destruction caused by divorce, a division of what God meant to remain united.
Jesus came to “undo the works of the Devil” (1 John 3:8), including the curse which brings enmity and division. Jesus addresses divorce directly, reaffirming the sanctity of marriage and highlighting the limited grounds for divorce. In Matthew 19:3-9, the Pharisees question Jesus about the legality of divorce. Jesus refers to the creation account, emphasizing that marriage is a divine institution where “the two will become one flesh.” He then states, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
The Apostle Paul also addresses divorce in his letters to the early Christian communities. In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Paul advises married couples to remain together, echoing Jesus’ teachings. He acknowledges the reality of marital difficulties but emphasizes reconciliation and maintaining the marital bond.
Why Does God Characterize Divorce as Violence?
God’s perspective stems from understanding his intent and marriage’s symbolism, intended to reflect his faithfulness, love, and commitment. Divorce, therefore, is not just a personal or social issue but a spiritual violation of this sacred covenant. If marriage reveals God’s heart and redemption, dissolving that union communicates an untruth about the Father and his will to reconcile all creation back to himself through the Son by the Spirit.
In addition, Divorce inflicts emotional, psychological, and spiritual harm on individuals and families. It disrupts the unity and peace marriage is meant to foster, often leading to feelings of betrayal, hurt, and brokenness. God views this harm as a form of violence because it damages the very fabric of the relational and covenantal trust that marriage is built upon.
Breaking marriages undermines the stability and security that marriage provides, particularly for children. It creates an environment of instability and conflict, which can have long-lasting effects on all parties involved, as studies and statistics show. By describing divorce as violence, God underscores the severity of its impact and the importance of preserving the marital covenant.
Does the Bible Make Any Allowances for Divorce?
Believers have been called to a complete eternal purpose, but people make mistakes and fail. The curse still does its work, as well, creating division. We aren’t in the New Heaven and Earth yet. The Bible clearly teaches how believers often miss the mark. Therefore, the Bible gives allowances for divorce.
The Old Testament provides the initial framework for understanding divorce within the context of Israelite society. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Moses outlines conditions under which a man may divorce his wife. The Law allowed divorce if a man found something “indecent” about his wife. The term "indecent" is somewhat ambiguous, but it generally refers to significant moral or sexual misconduct. The certificate of divorce served as a legal document to protect the rights of the woman, allowing her to remarry.
In the New Testament, Jesus addresses the issue of divorce in a more restrictive manner, emphasizing the sanctity and permanence of marriage. In Matthew 19:3-9, the Pharisees test Jesus by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” Jesus responds by referring to the creation account, highlighting that marriage is a divine institution. He then explains that Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of people’s hearts but reiterates that from the beginning, it was not so.
Jesus makes an allowance for divorce in cases of sexual immorality. His allowance recognizes the serious breach of trust and covenant that sexual infidelity represents, providing a just reason for ending the marriage.
Paul also addresses divorce, particularly in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. “To the married, I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.” Paul acknowledges the reality of marital difficulties but emphasizes reconciliation and maintaining the marital bond.
Paul introduces another allowance for divorce concerning mixed marriages between believers and non-believers. In verses 12-15, he states that if an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the marriage, the believing spouse is “not bound in such circumstances.” Here, the apostle permits the autonomy of the unbelieving spouse and recognizes the complex dynamics of mixed-faith marriages.
How Should Christians Engage with Divorce Today?
After looking at the biblical passages, the topic can become complicated and messy, especially in a culture that rejects all traditional views of marriage, whether good or bad. Here are a few thoughts from Scripture.
First, God doesn’t call all people to marriage. Our modern culture’s perspective on romance and the right or need to have this companionship doesn’t exist in the New Testament. Some apostles enjoyed marriage, while Jesus and Paul didn’t. Jesus expresses a higher call to singleness (Matthew 19:12), and Paul suggests much the same (1 Corinthians 7). These aren’t universal calls to stay single, only evidence we don’t need to be married to follow God wholly.
Second, to choose marriage, the Church should encourage couples to remain committed to their vows. Faith communities can provide premarital counseling, marriage enrichment programs, and ongoing support to help couples build strong, resilient marriages. By fostering open communication, trust, and mutual respect, couples can better navigate challenges and remain faithful to each other.
In times of marital difficulty, we should point couples to Christ, emphasizing the importance of a strong spiritual foundation. Encouraging regular prayer, Bible study, and participation in church activities can help couples draw closer to God and to each other.
Marriage often requires selflessness, patience, and forgiveness, qualities that can be difficult or impossible to maintain without God’s help. Christians should encourage couples to rely on God’s power to love and forgive their spouse, even in challenging times. Philippians 4:13 reminds believers, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Through prayer and reliance on the Holy Spirit, couples can find the strength to overcome difficulties and maintain their commitment.
As the percentages show us, we will deal with people who have gone through divorce or who choose that path while Christians. Divorce is a painful experience that can leave individuals feeling isolated and judged. Christians should extend grace and compassion to those who have gone through a divorce, recognizing that everyone’s situation is unique. Instead of casting judgment, the church should offer a safe space for healing and restoration, giving hope instead of condemnation. Romans 8:1 reminds us, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Christians should practice forgiveness and understanding, both towards those who have divorced and within the context of their own marriages. Ephesians 4:32 encourages believers, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” By modeling forgiveness and grace, Christians can help others experience healing and reconciliation.
Often, divorce is the result of underlying issues that were not addressed in time. Christians should help individuals and couples explore and address these root issues, whether they are related to communication, trust, infidelity, or other factors. Pastoral counseling, support groups, and professional therapy can provide valuable insights and tools for dealing with these problems.
Through encouraging reliance on God’s power, practicing forgiveness, and helping individuals address underlying issues, we can play a vital role in strengthening marriages and supporting those who have experienced divorce. We must walk with people, meet them where they are, and call them to Christ above all through love and grace.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Jacob Wackerhausen
