Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

9 Ways Wives Can Lovingly Meet Their Husband’s Needs

9 Ways Wives Can Lovingly Meet Their Husband’s Needs

I recently wrote an article titled “10 Ways To Be The Husband Your Wife Needs,” and it was tricky. So much of me wanted to protest while I was making my points and say, “This isn’t fair—wives need to be doing these things too.” Well, here’s my chance to level the playing field!

It’s been said in counseling before that marriage is 50/50, implying that both spouses must meet in the middle for their marriage to be successful. But I’d argue that marriage only works when it’s 100/100. Scripture says that marriage is a covenant of two becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Would you only wash half your body in the shower? Would you only ever lift weights with one arm? That’s about how effective the 50/50 mindset is. Is it even really love if we’re only willing to go so far and no farther? Of course not!

Naturally, neither spouse will fulfill this 100/100 percentage all the time. Some days, it might even look more like 80/20 or 60/40. In a perfect world (in which we do not live), the normal would be both spouses putting each other first, providing for each other, and loving each other through the “for better and for worse” as vowed.

Here are 9 ways to be a strong wife for your husband needs in a way that honors and glorifies the Lord. 

Photo Credit: © Unsplash/Joshua Adam Nolette

  • couple touching foreheads forgiveness

    1. Respect him.

    Just like women need love and respect, so do men. “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33 ESV). One of the worst ways to tear down your husband is to tell him (or show him with your actions) that you don’t respect him. Rather than focusing on all the ways you feel your husband doesn’t “deserve” your respect right now, try to focus on all the ways that He does—and obey this command from the Lord.

    2. Encourage him.

    Our husbands need encouragement and compliments, just as women do. Men can be encouraged by hearing they're doing a good job (and go ahead and compliment him on that new shirt, too!) “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV). Take every opportunity to build up your husband and highlight how well he’s doing at work, with the kids, or around the house.

    3. Love him.

    It’s obvious that wives want love—the Bible specifically commands husbands to love their wives! But it’s not a one-sided desire. Men might express and receive love differently than women, but the need for it and the security that love brings is still very much present for them. Love your husband, ladies. Need help figuring out what that looks like? Turn to the Love Chapter! “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV). Plenty of examples there of what loving our husbands look like on a tangible level.

    Photo Credit: © Getty Images/MangoStarStudio

  • Husband wife holding hands

    4. Trust him.

    Respect and trust go hand-in-hand—you’re unlikely to have one without the other. Just like men need respect, they need their wives to trust them. If trust has been broken, give him a chance to earn it back, rather than shutting down. Forgive and rebuild. Don’t assume the worst. Let trust be your default and suspicion be rare. 

    5. Give affection.

    Both husbands and wives need affection. Whether your husband’s love language is physical touch, words of affirmation, or acts of service, find ways to show it every day. Whatever is meaningful to him, be it a welcome-home hug, a scratch on the back as you walk past, or love notes left around the house, don’t be afraid to show your affection. We all need to be reminded sometimes of how we feel about each other.

    6. Apologize to him.

    It seems that most women struggle between two extremes—never saying they’re sorry, or going over the top with constant apologies in an effort to keep the peace. Neither extreme is healthy. One is prideful, while the other essentially makes you a liar. Be aware of your sin and of when you’ve wronged your husband—but don’t stop there. Own it. Apologize for it. Be humble. Give your husband a chance to give you grace and show forgiveness.

    7. Believe in him.

    Wives, believe in your man! If he’s got some new hobby in his life, invest in it and engage with him. Ask how much weight he’s lifting at the gym, or how the new project is going at work. Be interested and help support him emotionally in what he’s doing. Believe that he can do anything and believe that he can overcome anything he sets his mind to—and then tell him that! You’re a blessing if you do.

    Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/ronnysison

  • 8. <strong>Be loyal.</strong>

    8. Be loyal.

    Men need loyalty from their wives. At the end of a long day out in the world, often filled with strained working relationships, pressure and deadlines, and a negative mental soundtrack, they need to know they have someone in their corner. This doesn’t mean loyalty to a fault—if your husband is attempting to lead you into sin, you submit to the Lord, not to Him. But outside of that, husbands need their wives’ loyalty. Let your words and actions show that you’re there for him, no matter what comes his way.

    “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:7-9 ESV)

    9. Be noble.

    Husbands are blessed by wives with strong character. “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain” (Proverbs 31:10-11 ESV). For more examples on how to be a noble wife, just look to the rest of Proverbs 31.

    I used to be intimidated by this chapter, thinking this was a superwoman who sewed her own cape and was the picture of perfection that I’d never live up to. But really this isn’t a singular perfect woman, but an example of different characteristics that bless a woman’s family and honors the Lord with what she has. (Spoiler-alert: When we’re walking consistently with the Lord, we won’t be able to help but display such traits as godly women!)

    Photo Credit: © Getty Images/malik parwaiz akhter

    Betsy_headshotBetsy St. Amant Haddox is the author of over twenty romance novels and novellas. She resides in north Louisiana with her hubby, two daughters, an impressive stash of coffee mugs, and one furry Schnauzer-toddler. Betsy has a B.A. in Communications and a deep-rooted passion for seeing women restored to truth. When she’s not composing her next book or trying to prove unicorns are real, Betsy can be found somewhere in the vicinity of an iced coffee. She is a regular contributor to iBelieve.com and offers author coaching and editorial services via Storyside LLC.