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What Is the Difference Between Love and Lust?
- Vivian Bricker Contributing Writer
- Published Sep 12, 2022
The difference between love and lust is hard for many individuals to differentiate. As Christians, it is important for us to be able to tell the difference between love and lust. In our modern-day society, many individuals mix love and lust as being the same thing; however, love and lust are two distinct things.
This can be a difficult topic to discuss, yet it is critical for us to talk about these topics to help not only ourselves but also others.
Lust Versus Love
As stated, lust and love are not the same things. The Bible gives us an accurate description of both love and lust. Jesus defines love for us by showing us the ultimate example of love by dying on the cross for our sins (John 3:16-17).
Jesus loves us so much that He died for us while we were still unbelievers (Romans 5:8). From Jesus' example, we know what real love truly is. Love is putting someone else's interest above your own.
Often in our western culture, we define love to be an emotional feeling or a sexual attraction. The truth is love is not a feeling but rather a choice. Even for married couples, love is a choice.
Yes, they are attracted to each other and care about each other, but love is an active choice that the individual has to make each day.
In the same way, we have to make the choice each day to love others as God loves us. Loving others is not what Disney movies or Hallmark movies have made it into. Rather, loving others is hard and can be difficult at times.
I grew up with two older sisters, and there were many times when they hurt my feelings or made me want to cry, yet I still loved them because I made the choice to love them. In the same way, I know I've done many things that have upset my sisters, yet they still love me.
This is because love is a decision that we have to make each day rather than a rush of “feel good” feelings.
Lust is not the same as love because it is focused strictly on sexual feelings. A person who lusts after another person does not truly love the other person. Their feelings for the person are strictly sexual.
If a person lusts after another person, it does not mean they love the person. This is something that we, as Christians, need to know and apply to our own lives. Lust is based on sexual interests, whereas love is based on putting the other person's interest and well-being above your own.
Love lasts because it is an active choice, but lust does not last. It can quickly vanish away because the only concern with lust is sexual encounters. Lust will leave you feeling guilty, yet love will leave you feeling cared about, known, and cherished.
What Does the Bible Say about Lust?
The Bible warns us against lust on many occasions. Jesus tells us directly that if we just look at a person lustfully, we have already committed adultery with that person in our hearts (Matthew 5:27-28).
Lusting after someone in our hearts is a sin and will ultimately lead us to commit the physical sin of adultery if we don't turn to God, repent, and remove anything from our hearts and eyes that could cause us to lust after someone.
All individuals would be wise to follow Paul’s instructions to Timothy, “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22).
Lust has become popular in modern society and has even been considered normal with an emphasis on lusting after celebrities and other public figures. If you are a Christian and are looking to get into a relationship or if you are already in a relationship, you need to make sure there is mutual love, not lust.
A relationship cannot last if it is built on lust for one another. In Patrick Stump's solo album Soul Punk, he gives us a convicting message in his song, "I In Lie" when he sings, "And it's just lust/Nothing to write home about."
As Patrick Stump sings in his song, lust is nothing that we would write home about to our family and friends. Instead, we would write home about someone who loves us, and we love them. Lust has no solid foundation to stand on as it can quickly crumble, and the individual will move on to someone else.
It is important to protect ourselves from anything that would cause lust to rise in our hearts. We are all human beings, and we all have our own weaknesses. If a certain magazine, movie, or song causes you to become lustful, remove it from your life.
God doesn't want us to be involved in lust toward anyone. If you are struggling with lust today, pray to God and ask Him to remove the lust from your heart. Tell Him you are not strong enough on your own and that you need Him.
The Lord will help you if you ask for His help. In addition to praying to God, you also need to take action by repenting and turning away from sin.
Instead of engaging in activities that would cause lust to rise in your hearts, abstain from those activities and surround yourself with other Christians who can help you and hold you accountable.
What Does This Mean?
In your own relationships, do not let your mind be clouded by your emotions. What we might think is love could just be lust. Love is the conscious decision to place someone else's well-being above your own.
Yes, within love between a man and a woman, there is attraction, but attraction is not based on lust. Rather, the love between a man and a woman needs to be based on love.
Choosing to love someone else is choosing to love the other person regardless of their flaws, mistakes, or errors.
Jesus has shown us what love truly is as He died for our sins in order for us to be forgiven of our sins and to have eternal life through His name. There is no greater love than the love that God has for us through Jesus Christ, our Lord, and Savior.
True love is expressed to us in these words, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
As this passage of Scripture tells us, love is a beautiful thing filled with honesty, truth, and respect. A friendship or a romantic relationship can only be built upon love.
Even if you have struggled with lust in the past or are currently struggling with lust, the Lord can help you turn away from this sin. Lust will only lead you down a dark road of sin, which could turn into something much worse, such as committing adultery in your own life.
For further reading:
What Does the Bible Say about the Lust of the Flesh?
Why Does the Lust of the Eyes Come from the World?
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Love portrait and love the world
