1 Thing Single Mothers Want to Scream

I don’t know how many times I walked into a room as a young(er) single mother and felt everyone was staring at me and all of my sin was on display. My inability to “keep” a husband was a reproach I had to bear.

I wanted to scream, “QUIT STARING… IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”

But I didn’t; I let that silent scream of “you don’t understand” remain tucked away and it began to grow into a root of bitterness and judgment of others. I was abandoned by the husband of my youth and I wanted to blame and find fault with everyone and everything else. I pointed my finger at others, until the day when I realized that my own bitterness, judgment and unforgiveness were keeping me from the One I needed more than anything else. I needed and desperately wanted to know love; my heart was becoming dull and hard and I was ready to be delivered from the pit of despair.

So like the Schulamite in Song of Solomon 1:7, I cried out “tell me oh you whom my soul loves… where can I find you…?” I spent myself trying to please Him and make myself acceptable to others, but none of this satisfied my heart and the desire I had to be wanted.

It was during this time that I found myself mentoring 4 college girls and as I have looked back over my journey into wholeheartedness, I realized that mentoring those young women was one of the best things for my heart. I was in search of a loving Bridegroom and these young ladies wanted to know Him too.

I discovered a key to finding Jesus; He gives us that key in response to the cry “where can I find you…?” We are told by the good Shepherd in Song of Solomon 1:8:

“If you yourself do not know, most beautiful among women, go forth on the trail of the flock and pasture your young goats by the tents of the shepherds.”

In other words: “Pay attention and care for those younger and more vulnerable than you.” Maybe your young goats are your children; if so, tend to their hearts, help them discover Jesus, feed them on the Bread of Life, help them find rest in His loving embrace. Care for those who are less mature than you.

God was so jealous for me to understand His love that He placed these young women in my life so not only would I be praying and studying the Word, but I would be sharing it too. If you want to get the word of God in you start sharing the little you know and then go learn more truth and share another little nibble.

Giving to others what Jesus has given to us multiplies it in us.

So don’t be afraid to discuss your morning devotional with your children, or pray with them on the way to school. Over dinner discuss what they dream about at night and ask the Holy Spirit for interpretation (God used to speak a lot to a few of my children through dreams).

Or grab a friend at work and start to discuss what you are reading in the bible; take a college girl out for coffee and listen to her story and how she is pursuing God. Commit to writing a few encouraging e-mails or texts to a friends each day. Sent a photo of a devotional that means a lot to you and a short prayer.  The key is be intentional about feeding others who are seeking the Bread of Life. You will be amazed at the exponential growth in your own life as a result.

What is one way you can commit to give to someone this week?

Misty Honnold is the Founder and Director of the non-profit organization The Single MOM KC.  Misty equips, trains and empowers women to discover the source of their strength in Christ. She publishes a weekly blog on the website The Single MOM KC as well as freelances for other publications. She is working on her first book to be published in 2016; an autobiographical teaching of the Song of Solomon.