How Do We Start “Standing in the Gap” for Families in Foster Care?
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- Updated May 10, 2023
In Ezekiel 22:30, the prophet says on behalf of God, “I looked for anyone to repair the wall and stand in the gap for me on behalf of the land, so I wouldn't have to destroy it.” God is looking for people willing to advocate for others. We are called through the power of the Holy Spirit to see the chains that are holding others down and bring Jesus into these dark and lonely places.
Each of us has a special place God has called us to fight in the battle to bring Heaven down to Earth. Some of us are driven by a justice-hungry heart and are called to fight for just laws and practices. Others of us have been the gift of art and are called to push back the darkness by helping create light-inspired beauty. Some of us can lead and are there to lead teams, co-workers, organizations, and more towards wisdom and truth. Speaking truth may be your gift, and God has given you a church to shepherd. Another is to be called a parent who lives with grace and consistency. God gives us each a passion that leads us towards his Heaven calling.
A Gap in Our Communities
A gap that exists in our communities that oftentimes goes unseen is the foster care system. This is the place where the least of these live in our communities. The children and families that have been ravished by trauma, addiction, injustice, racism, hurt, abuse, pain, poverty, and more are those that are caught in this system.
The system was created to protect but often fails at its mission because it is under-resourced and asks people to oftentimes do the impossible on behalf of innocent children and their families. The statistics around foster care are dismal, and those that are paying the price of this community failure are the children. The truth you may not want to see is that these children and families need you.
What they need more than anything else is a generation of Christ followers that are willing to unselfishly and relentlessly fight for the family. Family is the foundation God created as a place he could grow his children and build his church. When families are fractured, and trauma continues from one generation to the next, our society suffers.
Most of all, God grieves when our hearts are broken. Children that are stuck in a cycle of pain break the heart of our God. We are called to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15), which means we cannot stay on the sidelines any longer. We have to step in and begin to help carry the burdens that these children and families are being crushed under.
How Do We Start “Standing in the Gap”?
First, learn about the needs in your specific community. The best way to do this is to get trained as a foster parent! Getting training does not mean you will become a parent, and it does not mean you have to say “yes” to every call you receive, but it’s a chance to meet those who are working day in and day out in this system. The training will help you better understand the effects of trauma, abuse, neglect, the statistics around what caseworkers are seeing in your community, and more. It also gives you the chance to ask questions and find out what are the urgent needs in your community. The bottom line is you can’t say “yes” without getting trained, so it’s really the best place to start!
Other than becoming a licensed foster parent, you can connect with local foster parents, nonprofits, community leaders, social workers, and faith communities that are engaged in supporting your local DSS. There are so many ways to start helping, but you have to connect with those close to this work in order to know where to start. Some ideas of how to offer support include the following: offer gifts and encouragement for social workers, foster parents, birth families, and those who offer kinship care, get informed so you can advocate on behalf of those in the system, mentor at-risk teens, support those at-risk of aging out of foster care, and consider offering respite care for foster parents or those doing kinship care in your community.
What You Should Know about Foster Care
Foster parents come in all shapes and sizes! You do not have to be married. You do not have to make a lot of money. You do not have to own a home. You just have to be a stable adult, able to support yourself and the children in your care, and you have to be trained.
Super parents are not required for this work. I am an anxious, imperfect Momma, and now I have five kids, so I am busy. There is nothing special about me and my husband other than our willingness to be obedient to the tug we felt on our hearts to get involved and a relentless commitment to learn and grow for the sake of the children in our care. I don’t have all the answers!
I’m parenting a multiracial family, my children are dealing with the effects of trauma, and we’ve spent years living in uncertainty when it comes to the future for our kids. I can’t say I’ve mastered any aspect of this crazy role as Foster/Adoptive Mom, but one thing I know is that God has been faithful to help us in every season, and he’s even brought beauty into our lives through our willingness to say “yes.” I am confident he will continue to provide the support and wisdom we need as we continue on this lifelong journey of parenthood.
You should also know there is an immense need for dedicated, safe homes in your community. Kids of all ages come into care, and not all foster homes are created equally. Children are sleeping in DSS buildings all over the country. Numerous children have been waiting for years to be adopted.
Many teens are aging out to homelessness, and many of them will spend their future in jail, struggling with addiction, and have a shortened life expectancy. Young children and babies also often come into care. Every story is different, and saying “yes” to what you feel equipped to do in this season is valuable. You don’t have to start with teens or babies. You have the ability to determine which children you accept into your home. You do not have to adopt, but oftentimes adoption becomes necessary in foster care if that is something you are open to.
If you have biological children, you can protect them and love them well while expanding your view of what family can be. Our original three biological kids have loved every child that has joined our family with an extravagant kind of love. Our lives have only been made better by being willing to grow a family in this unique way. We started by accepting children that were younger than our biological children in order to feel we all could love each other well, but families come together in all kinds of beautiful ways. You just have to pray and find the parameters that feel right for your home.
Your foster kids don’t need their own dedicated room, but they do need enough space to comfortably reside in your home. Foster kids typically come with little to no clothing or supplies, and it takes a village to meet their needs well. Having a strong community to lean on as a foster parent is really helpful.
God has done so many miracles for our family as we have stepped out in faith, asking God to do a good work in our home even as we stand in the midst of brokenness and loss. He has been faithful to provide peace, amazing social workers, direction, wisdom, a larger home, furniture, baby clothes, babysitters, and more! He does this not because I am so loved but because he is willing to move mountains to love that one child in need. He loves our kids so much that he has provided abundantly for them. The gap is a place where God’s grace and provision abound when we go there with him on our side.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Ridofranz
